I push thoughts of Luke back into the past where they belong and head back upstairs to my desk. I need this workday to be done.
Chapter 3
Luke
Nine Years Before
Noturningbacknow.The papers in my hand are proof of that. In a little over two weeks, I need to report to Fort Benning in Georgia for basic training. The deed is done. My plans are cast in concrete, and it’s okay by me. The question is now, will Cassie be okay with my new plans. What scares me the most is thinking I will lose her.
Cass and I graduated a month ago. We’ve both been accepted to our chosen universities, her at the University of Florida in Gainesville, and me at Florida State in Tallahassee. The problem is I’ve now chosen a different path and Cass has no idea. I think she knows something is a bit off and that this last month has been tough for me.
While we still had classes, exams to take, graduation parties to attend I could ignore my reservations about college. However, after reaching the graduation milestone, I haven't been able to shut down thoughts of joining the Army.
The truth is college isn’t what I want or need. Maybe I never really did, and I was only going along with the flow because it’s what Cassie and all my friends were focused on. I’ve tossed this around in my head, struggling with indecision and my inability to see my future in the same clear way Cassie does.
In the final days of my dad’s life, he told me to do two things. Take care of Mom and make him proud. Dad was a Ranger in the Army before he had to retire due to his cancer diagnosis. He was not merely my hero but an American hero. I need to do this for him. Joining the Army would have made him proud. It’s time to grow up and be the man he wanted me to be.
I guess I should have already talked to Cassie about my change of plans. But I couldn’t find the words to tell her, which is such a weak excuse.
Today is crunch time, no more deflecting. Those elusive words had better come to me pretty fucking soon as I’m pulling up outside her house now to spend the day with her. The truth is she's going to be upset, no matter what I say or how sweetly I try to say it.
I get out of my car reluctantly and walk up the path to Cassie’s door the same as I’ve done a hundred times before. My palms are sweating as I knock on the door. It’s a warm day and I’m hoping this will cover for me.
From the first day I saw her, I knew Cassandra McCarthy was too good for me. When I walked into the classroom a year ago full of attitude, I didn’t know my world was about to be rocked. There she sat, the blue-eyed beauty with long blonde hair trailing down her back like a river of gold, her delicate features smiling at the girl beside her.
My carefully controlled‘don’t fuck with me’mask slipped. Sure, I had seen plenty of pretty girls before and had even dated a couple of them at my previous school, but there was something extra special about Cassie.
Ever since, Cassie has been the light to my dark. She shines bright, lighting up any room she is in, just as she did in the classroom on that first day. She drew me toward her, like a moth to a flame. When her sweet flowery scent drifted to me the first time, it had the power to send flames shooting through my veins. Unfortunately, also straight to my cock, a guy’s worst nightmare. I remember how I had to sit down quickly before anybody else could see how hard I was. Not the kind of introduction I wanted to make in a new school.
One year in and Cassie still makes me stumble when I see her across a room at a party. Cassie still lights my way. Her scent still pumps blood directly to my cock, and now I’m lucky to be someone who makes her smile.
On prom night, my chest swelled as I strutted around the floor like I owned the joint, with Cassie as my date. She was breathtaking, of course, in her pale blue strapless dress. Looking like a sea nymph with her blonde waves falling softly around her angelic face. I will never forget how she shone, especially later when it was only the two of us down on the beach under the stars. We shared more than our bodies, and it was, without doubt, the best night of my life.
As Cassie opens the door smiling radiantly, a new fear shakes me to the core. Cassie’s smile may no longer light up for me after our conversation today. Covering my suddenly wobbly legs and trembling hands, I take her in my arms and give her a quick kiss.
“Hey, beautiful, you ready for some beach vibes?”
“I’m always ready for beach vibes,” she says as she grabs her beach tote and virtually skips down the path to my car.
We are off to our favorite beach. It’s a sunny summer’s day, not a cloud in the sky, and we will drive a couple miles up the beach to a more secluded place to avoid the crowds. The waves aren’t pumping today, so we probably won’t get our surfboards out. Instead, we will swim and sneak a few cuddles and kisses between waves. When we have cooled down enough in the water, then we will lay next to each other on our towels.
This will be like so many other beach days we have spent together over the last year. Yet today will end like no other I suspect, given the looming talk we need to have.
A couple of hours later, as the sun is setting, we're lying in each other’s arms on a blanket on the now cooling sand. I lazily stroke Cassie’s salty blonde hair away from her closed eyes. I haven’t talked to Cass yet and time is running out. I still don’t have the words, but I start talking anyway.
“I want to talk to you about something, Cass.”
She stirs, moving out of my arms to sit with her arms wrapped around her legs. Not a good sign. She's already putting distance between us.
“Something is wrong, isn’t it?” she asks, turning slightly to look down at me, her finger twisting in her long hair.
I sit up, stuttering and stumbling over my words, “Cass, it’s not you—”
“Don’t you dare finish your sentence with—it’s me,” she demands fiercely before turning away from me to stare out across the darkening ocean.
“No, no, I wasn’t going to say that,” I reassure her.
“Okay, so tell me what you were going to say.”
