She looked mad at first until I bulldozed on and continued with a big apology. By the time I was done rambling, she was laughing.
We talked and she admitted she was, in fact, Marie. I had to hold in my excitement because I already came on way too strong and didn’t want to scare the girl.
The fact that she trusts me enough to talk about her books and the inside scoop on them makes me feel so damn special.
Maya is a quiet person, very antisocial. She likes to keep to her place or mine, only going out when I force her to. At first, I felt like I was being too much, but she thanked me for pushing her outside her comfort zone, that life shouldn’t be spent inside all day.
I almost sobbed like a baby at the fact that someone who hardly knew me could feel so safe with me. I’ve been holding people at arm's length for so long—not wanting anyone to get close because I didn’t want to hurt someone, or be hurt—that I forgot just how lonely it can be without someone at your side.
I’m glad I’ve let myself have at least one friend. Maya has helped me a lot more than she knows. While I still think about Ally often, I don’t hurt as much as I used to.
Smiling and laughing have become a big part of my life.
Calling Wood is healing me slowly. Like the broken pieces of my past are being put back together. It’s not perfect, but it’s good enough.
I’m finding myself rethinking my outlook on life and what I want out of it. That maybe, just maybe, I won’t always feel broken and unworthy.
What hurts the most is realizing that maybe Ally was only meant to be in my life for the time she was. And that the past should stay in the past.
I will always love Ally. That much I know. But I can’t hold onto something I’m not going to have for forever.
Moving on, finding a pack, living a fun and fulfilling life, that's what I want.
Even if it’s not with her.
The thought fucking guts me.
“I don’t know.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “That one over there looks like he belongs in one of your books.” I nod towards the pack we’ve been talking about. The guy on the end has longer hair and some tattoos. “A dragon rider, maybe? Oooh-oooh or a shadow daddy?” I shimmy my shoulders.
She bursts out laughing. “Stop,” she snorts.
“Let me live my dreams!” I gasp. “A little role play doesn’t hurt.”
She rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I pat her hand in mock sadness. “You're gonna get your Alpha dick someday. I can feel it.”
“Lulu!” she hisses, cheeks heating with embarrassment as a group of guys pass our table, giving Maya a once-over.
I bite my lip, trying to hold back my laughter.
“Sorry, babe.” I grin widely. “Just know, the lack of a pack could easily be fixed. You're a bombshell, babe. Any pack would be happy to have you.”
“Thanks. But I don’t want just any pack,” she mutters, going back to writing on her computer.
Her plan is to finish school, continue with her writing, and find her pack once she’s moved out and her life is more stable.
She’s been working on the book I found on her computer for months now. It’s the longest she's ever taken to write a book, but she’s dead set on it being perfect. That there's something about this book she knows is going to be bigger and better than all the others.
As her best friend, I’m here to support her in whatever she needs.
It’s not the only book she’s writing, either. The girl is a beast. She can write all day, every day if she chooses to. Or if I let her. Since becoming friends, she has written and released two other books. Both are doing pretty good, too.
“Okay, let’s change subjects,” I prompt. “Have you given any more thought about what I asked?”
She looks up at me, a nervous look in her eyes. “I don’t know, Lulu.”
“Come on!” I urge. “It’s gonna be amazing. I promise. There’s so much that could be done to have all your book babies seen. I want everyone to know Marie Day. To read your books and fall in love with them like I have. I know you hate working on social media, but I love it. I have so many plans. Please!?” I clasp my hands together and give her the biggest puppy-dog eyes I can muster.
