Arlon stared up at the ceiling, unblinking. The magiline that made up the walls of Fawn’s quarters was illuminated by candlelight, the curtains of her bed waving gently in the cool spring air.
It was oppressive as the silence descended. That godsdamned silence that seemed to pull words out of him like a fish on a hook. Anger sparked when she didn’t back down, but instead of bottling it in, letting it infuse into one indiscernible mess of an emotion, Arlon picked out what was behind it.
“I fucked up.”
Fawn hummed as she trailed a finger down his collar to find the v of his shirt. “How?”
Arlon lifted his hands, pressing his palms against his eyes until he saw blots of color. He couldn’t stand to look at her, see her disappointment. “Talked to Garrett and Bridgette.”
Something teasing slipped into Fawn’s tone as she said, “That, in and of itself, does not seemlike a fuck up.”
“They knew who I was,” Arlon said.
“No, they didn’t.” Her fingers traced the edge of the crescent-shaped scar that crossed his chest. It was all that remained of the wound she’d given him when she arrested him, but the gentleness of her touch made him shiver. “They knew your reputation.”
“Intimately.” Fawn must have sensed something in his voice because the silence descended again until Arlon found the words to break it. “Bridgette and Garrett crossed paths with the Wolves in Frostcliff. About a year and a half ago, Vian brought some of us to the brothel Bridgette used to work at. She took Vian upstairs, and he hurt her. Badly.”
He could feel Fawn’s surprise as she tensed against him. “What happened today?”
He felt unworthy of that endless patience. It was never“What did you do?”Never accusatory.
“When Bridgette realized who I was, I… got on my guard.”
Fawn seemed to sense all he wasn’t saying. “And then?”
Arlon shrugged, but Fawn cupped his face, gently urging until he turned his head to look at her. Concern pinched her eyebrows. “Tell me.”
“Garrett challenged me to a spar. I accepted. And he beat me. Handily, even.”
Fawn winced as her thumb stroked his cheek. “Ah. He told me that he’s… capable in a fight.”
“Can confirm that,” Arlon said through a sigh. “So, I’m sorry, but I think your wizards hate me.”
Fawn tsked. “They don’tknowyou.”
“Well, I showed my whole ass to them over a dirty look,” Arlon muttered. “That’s telling enough.”
Fawn fell quiet as she looked at him, her blue eyes shining like a cat’s in the dim light of her quarters. For once, she was the one who broke the silence. “Did something else happen?”
Arlon swallowed the knot that had suddenly formed in his throat. Fawn waited, her fingers stroking through his hair until he said, “When Garrett got me pinned, it felt like I was back in Vian’s pack. Like I’d never left. Couldn’t leave.”
Fawn was quiet as she shifted to straddle his waist. Her comforting warmth settled onto him, her bare thighs hugging his waist as her hands rested against his chest. “Memories like yours are hard to forget. You shouldn’t punish yourself for getting lost in them.”
His hands found the curve of her waist, her naked skin glowing in the dim flicker of candlelight. After how he’d acted with Bridgette and Garrett, he suddenly felt unworthy to be in her presence. Everything he’d said and done felt like spitting in the face of Fawn’s seemingly endless patience with him.
Little over a year ago, he would have never looked back at the interaction in the transmutation yard, but Fawn had changed the color of his world, and he didn’t like the darkness he saw in himself.
“Would you punish me, then?”
Fawn’s shining gaze sharpened as she looked down at him, considering. “I won’t punish you for your past, Arlon. You can’t change what you’ve been through. So, what exactly do you feel you need to be punished for?”
Her voice had hardened, taking on that tone that made him tremble. Under her gaze, he felt stripped bare. “I got defensive when I shouldn’t have. I let my ego get the best of me. I-I had an opportunity to make friends, and I squandered it because I let a simple comment turn me into the person I’mtryingnot to be anymore.”
Frustration made his voice shake, but Fawn brought him back as she cupped his cheek. “Then on your knees,a’marra.I’ll remind you who you are.”
Her weight lifted, and Arlon obeyed as he slid off the bed.He sank to his knees on the stone floor, soaking in the safety of her presence as he lowered his head, hands clenched on the tops of his thighs. Fawn shifted until her legs hung off the side of the bed. She sat right in front of him, close enough that he could lean forward and kiss her knee.
One delicate foot came up to rest against his shoulder as she spread her legs. Her fingers wove through his hair before gripping tight. It was rough enough to make a few strands part with his scalp as she pulled him forward, trapping him firmly in the crux of her smooth thighs.
