Maybe I need to stop being so cynical about things, or maybe I should just end this now before it really even begins.
The issue is, I’ve been trying and failing to end this thing between us since the beginning, and I don’t think I’m strong enough to deny it anymore. I don’t think I can let him go, but how can I keep him when I know that being with me will bring him nothing but danger and pain? And can I call him mine and not expect him to become another body in the ground, just like every other person I’ve ever let close to me?
THIRTY-SEVEN
COLE
Iwake up with a dead arm and hair in my face.
It takes me a moment to realize why, and when I do, a smile sneaks its way onto my face at the notion of having Lana in my bed, at the fact that she stayed here all night, and I managed to wake before her.
When I went to sleep last night, I figured she’d sneak out at some point during the night or early hours of the morning before I woke up so that she didn’t have to face me this morning.
But she didn’t. She’s still here, breathing softly as she sleeps in my hold.
Everything she told me last night comes back to the forefront of my mind, and my head throbs as I think about everything she’s been through. I don’t know all the details, but what she did tell me soundedbad.My uncle and cousins on my mom’s side of the family are the opposite side of the law to my father, but they have always,alwaysprotected the innocent, and they vowed a long time ago not to hurt women and children. They’re feared, and dangerous, yet it sounds asthough they’re nothing in comparison to whatever horrors Lana grew up around.
Contrary to what she believes, I’m not naïve. I know there’s a lot of darkness in the world. I’ve never been told otherwise, but I have been protected from it. That’s one of the exact reasons my mom moved away from New York as soon as she was old enough to do it, because she didn’t want me growing up the way she did. Her sister stayed because she fell in love with my uncle, and she had a good life while she was still with us.
But that’s neither here nor there when it comes to whatever Lana is involved with, because if it’s as bad as it sounds like it is, then there’s a whole other level of darkness out there.
I’m not scared of the dark.
I thrive in it.
And she’s going to have to try a lot harder to scare me away if that’s her intention.
Lana tenses in my arms before going lax, and I know she’s awake while pretending to still be sleeping.
“I know you’re awake right now,” I murmur, and she huffs out a breath.
“I was planning to leave early,” she admits, and I grin to myself.
“Well you fucked that up, little menace.”
“No shit,” she mutters and rolls over to face me. Her hair is a tangled mess, and her tired eyes meet mine. An unspoken conversation passes between us, both of us agreeing not to bring up the events of last night, at least for now.
“You in pain?” I ask, taking note of the bruises covering her skin, and I want to bring Dominic back to life just to kill him all over again.
She shakes her head. “I told you, I’ve had worse.”
“Exactly how worse are we talking?”
She smirks. “Oh, pretty boy, it’s best you not know if the glower on your face is anything to go by.”
I shake my head and climb out of bed, stretching my arms as I head to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and head back into the bedroom to find Lana lying where I left her.
Huh.
“What, you spend the night and now you expect breakfast?” I deadpan, and her eyes widen.
“Shut up,” she grumbles. “I’ll leave in a minute, but your bed is comfy.”
I snort. “I don’t want you to go anywhere. I was kidding, you dick. But you might want to put some clothes on before we go get coffee, because if one of the guys sees you like that, I’ll have to kill them.”
She groans dramatically. “God, you shoot one guy and now you’re a serial killer. What have I done?”
“You created a monster. Now, get up. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
