He’s leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, wearing his favorite designer suit and an expression I can’t read.
Dylan steps back. And the moment’s gone.
“Surprise, happy anniversary, babe!” Jacob walks in with a crooked smile, holding up a bag.
Fuck, I forgot. Even if we don’t celebrate anymore, it used to matter. But why is he here now? He’s never once shown up at my work.
“Picked up your favorite tacos. Extra guac.” His voice is warm, laced with something beneath it.
Dylan shifts uncomfortably. The tension of what almost happened is sucking in the air.
“Happy anniversary,” I say, forcing a big, fake smile. “Definitely surprised.”
Jacob grins and kisses me… on my lips… in public. That also never happens.
Dylan’s eyes burn through us.
Jacob’s gaze locks on him for several seconds before turning back to me. “Thought we could have lunch.”
I glance at Dylan. His face is dark.
“That’s… very sweet of you,” I stammer to Jacob.
Dylan takes a step back. “I should go.”
Jacob’s eyes follow him, his smile tight. “You must be the contractor with the… unique laugh.” His tone is polite, but with a sharp edge to it.
“She told you about me?” Dylan’s voice turns harsh. “Well, not anymore. Just came to drop off the final invoice.”
He doesn’t wait for a response. Just turns and walks out.
And I can’t stop him.
Later that evening, I hang out with the girls, helping them with their homework. But my mind spirals through the mess I’ve made. Christmas tree lights flicker in the background, a warm glow that once used to ease some of my nerves.
Ava sits next to me with her worksheet in her lap. “Mommy, I need help with this math problem.”
I glance at the paper, wishing someone could solve my problems as easily. Then back up to the fireplace, where the stockings dangle perfectly in a row.
Will Jacob’s stocking still hang there next year? Will I be able to fill the tree with gifts as a single mother? The thoughts twist my stomach. Christmas is over. The tree needs to come down. But packing it away feels too final. Like I’ll have no choice but to move forward, when I don’t even know where to go.
I smile, trying to push it all down. “Of course, sweetie. Let’s see.”
The numbers blur together as my mind revisits when Jacob walked into my office, my secrets on the brink of exposure. And the look on Dylan’s face when he almost said the words that probably would’ve made everything worse.
I glance at my innocent daughters, blissfully unaware of the chaos inside me. What would happen if they found out? If Jacob found out? How could I ever face them again?
Ava looks up, her little brows furrowed. “Mommy,” she whispers. “Why are you sad?”
Guilt twists in my stomach. “I’m not sad, Avie girl. Just tired.”
The truth is… I’m terrified. Of what I’ve become. Of Jacob finding out. Of losing everything. This was never supposed to happen. And yet, I can’t stop. Dylan was supposed to be an escape. A friendship. A way to feel alive again. Instead, he’s become a different kind of prison. One I walked into willingly, then I locked the door and threw away the key myself.
After bedtime cuddles, I slip away to the bathroom, craving a hot bath and some alone time. My journal and a book rest on a tray balanced across the tub, candles flickering around me. The blank page glares at me, daring me to be honest finally. My pen hovers, before I write:
Lost again. Wandering through a dark forest. Alone. Trapped in a cage when all I want to do is fly.I go through the motions, but inside I’m frozen in a life I no longer recognize. Trapped in a marriage that no longer feels like mine, unable to find the girl I used to be. The further I bury her, the harder it becomes to bring her back. What do I want? Who the hell am I anymore? When will I be brave enough to decide—and finally be free?
The chill air nips at my skin as I step out of the bath. In the mirror, a stranger stares back. Hollow eyes and heavy shoulders sagging under a weight too heavy to bear.
