I step back, scanning the room I created. The space looks like a frosted dream, and the perfect escape I need to forget about the last twenty-four hours with my mom. Birch branches tower over the tables, and snowflakes with icy blue jewels dangle from the ceiling. A thin line of fake snow lines the bar edges, and soft lights wrap around the old piano. My favorite touch? Snow globes with table numbers sealed inside.
Of course, I tripped over my own feet and smashed two of them.
Fuck. Panic creeps in. What if Izzy doesn’t bring more in time? What if Dylan’s sister hates everything? It was thrown together so quickly, but it might be my one shot to prove myself. I press a hand to my chest and take a deep breath.
No, Jenna. The desire to create is inside me for a reason. I’ve always dreamed of creating something beautiful out of nothing.
Through the windows, I spot staff members setting up, and Izzy flirting with one of the caterers before coming in. Figures. I smile. That’s Izzy for you.
“Oh my God, Jenna!!” she shouts, pulling me in for a hug and dropping the box of snow globes on the table. “You pulled it off. And it’s stunning. Why are you wasting your talent at Elegant Affairs?”
I shrug, running my fingers along the tablecloth. “It’s not that bad. I’m learning the business side. It’s experience.”
She rolls her eyes. “Babe, that place needs you more than you need them. You have everything you need to do this on your own. You also have my brother. Why can’t you let him help you?”
I glance at her, unsure how to respond. She’s right. I don’tneedthis job. Jacob could support me while I build my clientele.
“I’m not ready yet,” I mutter. “And I’m not my mother, who likes to rely on men to take care of her. I will start soon, promise.”
There it is. The real reason. What happens if things end with Jacob? Will I be able to support my kids without a job?
“You’re not her. You’ve got this,” she says, kissing me quickly on my lips. “Still nothing, Jinx?” she teases. “Remember that sleepover when I gave you that nickname? Who knew it’d stick this long?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, who knew? You were so sure I was bad luck back then, and honestly, you weren’t wrong.”
Izzy waves it off. “Oh, please. You’re not bad luck, babe. You just… attract chaos. But you always make it through, don’t you?”
Her words are light, but they land heavily. My mind drifts to the past, back to when “Jinx” was just a silly, harmless joke. But it was more than that.
For a long time, I believed I was cursed, that the universe had it out for me. Every step I took seemed to leave a trail of disaster. Maybe it wasn’t the universe, though. Maybe it’s me creating chaos. Maybe my heart has always been jinxed.
I think about Ryan, the first man I ever loved. I was young and desperate for someone to see me, to love me. And he did, until he didn’t. He took everything: my teenage years, my self-worth, my belief in love. He shattered me, and I’ve been trying to piece myself back together ever since.
But it’s easier to focus on the men who came after. Like Jacob, my husband, who’s never really let me in. Loving him feels like climbing an endless wall, only to find another locked door waiting at the top. And maybe that’s why I found Dylan.
I glance at Izzy, now scrolling on her phone, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. Dating, connection—it all seems effortless for her. But for me? It’s always been messy. I keep falling for men who can’t give me what I need.
I pause, searching for the right words. “Sometimes I think my heart is jinxed.”
Izzy glances up, eyebrows raised as she sets her phone down. “Why do you say that? Are you even happy with my brother?”
I hesitate, then let out a jagged breath. “Honestly, I’m not sure. Look at my track record. My father abandoned me. Ryan destroyed me. Jacob keeps shutting me out.” My voice falters and I’m unable to say how I feel about Dylan. How he’s taken parts of me I’ll never get back. How he’ll never truly be mine, and I’ll never be enough to make him stay.
Izzy straightens up, picking up on my mood change.
“Oh, babe, we’ve all had messed-up relationships. That doesn’t mean you’re cursed,” she says with a smile, but I can tell she means it.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But the men in my life sure know how to screw with my heart,” I mutter.
At least one of them can’t hurt me anymore.
“My dad was the first. He tore through my life like a tornado and wrecked every damn thing in his path. And I’ve spent every moment since chasing love in all the wrong places with all the wrong men.”
Izzy leans forward, frowning. “You’ve got to stop letting men take from you. Give yourself what you need instead. I give myself one hell of an orgasm almost every night,” she teases, breaking the tension in the way only she can.
I smile, but it’s hollow. It sounds simple. But how do you love yourself when your life’s a mosaic of shattered pieces? Broken bones. Broken hearts. And every time, I’m the one left to pick them up. They take, and I let them. Until there’s nothing left of me to give.
Maybe that’s what it means to be jinxed. Not the clumsiness or the bruises, but the way my heart keeps falling for men who can’t love me back or won’t let me in. And if my heart is cursed, why do I keep opening it? Maybe it’s time to stop. To lock those doors and finally focus on myself.
