But then I wonder—what if I did? What if I seized the day?
What if I just said…Fuck it?
Chapter 15: Burnt Lasagna & Guilt
Jenna: November
I’m back from the store, groceries half-unpacked, staring at the timer on the oven while heat swirls like a furnace. I’m making Jacob’s favorite—lasagna. Maybe it’ll erase that kiss with Dylan. Lasagna’s the ultimate apology for infidelity, right?
Solid plan, Jenna.
The usual disaster surrounds me—fridge open, sink running, groceries scattered everywhere. Another podcast about healing and trauma hums in the background while I aggressively chop salad.
Then, I smell it. Smoke.
“Oh, shit—no, no, no!” I fling open the oven, and a cloud of black smoke slaps me in the face as the alarm blares.
Ava starts yelling, while Lily clamps her hands over her ears.
“Of course,” Jacob mutters, walking in just in time to witness the shitshow.
I turn to him holding a charred lasagna, trying to ignore the disappointed look on his face. “I tried,” I say, panicking. “I got a little distracted—”
“Whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’m used to your messes.” He grabs a towel, swatting the smoke alarm. “Maybe if you didn’t waste time listening to silly podcasts and reading books you think will change your life.” He shakes his head. “Let’s order takeout. Again.”
Everything I do is silly to him. My books. My music. My dreams. Nothing’s ever right. The guilt crashes over me, sharp as glass. I tried to do something nice. Instead, I screwed it up.
My stomach twists. I think about Dylan and how far I let things go. This isn’t just about burnt lasagna. I’m screwing up more than dinner these days. I want to scream at the mess I’ve made of everything. But I don’t. I just stand here, watching Jacob scroll through takeout options.
“I’ll clean up,” I mumble.
But the smell of burnt cheese and unresolved tension lingers in the air. Every time I burn food, forget my keys, or break something, Jacob’s annoyance with me seems to grow.
The doorbell rings, and I practically bolt for the distraction. My mom waltzes in wearing a flowy floral dress, arms full of bags. “Hey, Jasper took me shopping, and I just couldn’t help myself.”
The girls rush in from the kitchen, and my mother scoops them into gorilla hugs.
“Jasper sounds… interesting,” I say, arching a brow.
“Be nice,” Jacob steps in, and greets her with a kiss.
“What happened to Kris?” I tease. “Or was it Fabio? I can’t keep up anymore.”
“Oh, Jinxy, who cares about them?” She laughs. “I’ve got stories! Now, where’s the vodka?” She heads straight for the liquor cabinet.
“I’ll go pick up food,” Jacob says, grabbing the keys, as the girls follow him out.
I find my mom in the kitchen with a drink already in hand, smiling at whatever’s on her phone. Watching her, so carefree and confident, I forget she’s the same woman who once feared my father and the world.
And me? I barely know who I am anymore.
“Spit it out. What’s going on with you?” I ask, narrowing my eyes, sinking down across from her.
“Well,” she leans forward, her necklace clinking against the table, “I had this dream. Almost like a psychic vision.” Her excitement is practically buzzing. “You met a blonde woman and told Jacob you were leaving him.”
I burst out laughing. “Last week, you thought I was moving to Mexico. Now I’m leaving my husband for a woman. You sure I’m not adopted?”
She gives me a piercing look. “Stop it. Don’t act like I’m crazy. You know my dreams always mean something. Maybe Jacob isn’t right for you.”
