What if I can’t recover from losing her again? Isn’t that where this leads? Maybe I never should’ve asked her to come.
Before she can bolt for the fourth time, I walk toward her. She’s wearing those damn tight jeans that hug her hips like they were made to drive me insane. But it's the look in her eyes that wrecks me. That raw vulnerability. Everything about her pulls me in. And every rational thought I’ve been trying to cling to is gone. Seeing her again feels like time never moved, and every buried feeling slams back into me all at once.
“Hi,” she whispers, stepping closer. And fuck, the familiar scent of strawberries still gets to me.
“Hi, Jenna.” My voice is rough as I wrap my arms around her and feel her melt against me. Everyone else calls her Jinx, but not me. I love saying her name.
My hands tighten on her waist, unwilling to let go. “I fucking missed you,” I murmur against her shoulder. “Your face, your touch, your smell… your goofy indecisiveness. How many times did you walk back to your car before you realized you can’t stay away from me?”
She gives a nervous laugh. “Oh God. You saw all that?”
I grin, my hand slowly brushing along her spine. “Didn’t have to see it. I know you, Jenna. You weren’t looking for a way out. You were looking for a reason to stay.”
She looks up at me. “I don’t even know why I’m here.” Her voice trembles. “All I do know… is that I can’t figure out how to live without you.”
I reach for her hands. “Then don’t,” I say, tilting her face towards me. “Every time you look at me like I’m someone worth seeing, it makes me forget every way I’ve screwed up. You’re my ultimate dream girl come to life. Better than any fantasy. And I don’t want to figure out how to live without you either.”
“Damn, Dylan Wyatt Hayes,” she murmurs. “Why is it so easy for you to slide inside my heart and make me smile like a total idiot.”
I laugh, brushing my thumb over her knuckles. Everything that comes out of her pretty mouth makes me want to kiss her, hold her, lie on the couch doing nothing but play with her hair and listen to her talk about everything and nothing at all.
“Well, I aim to please,” I say, as we start walking towards the barn. “How are your girls?” I ask, pushing the door open. Their ice cream faces in the park flicker through my mind. Cool kids. And Jenna? One hell of a mom.
Her smile falters, just for a second, but I catch it.
“Growing way too fast,” she replies, turning away slightly. “Lily wants to save the planet one tree at a time. And Ava wants to be a professional cake tester. Can’t decide which mission is more important.”
I chuckle, but there’s something in her eyes, something she’s holding back. But maybe today, she just needs a little escape, so I decide not to push.
“You know what I read today?” Her voice perks up again. “Apparently, men think about sex about twenty times a day. That’s basically every hour! So, is it like… Brush your teeth—sex. Drive to work—sex. Hammer something—sex. Bubble baths—obviously sex.”
I shake my head, grinning. She’s ridiculous. And fucking irresistible.
“Pretty close,” I say, leaning against the stall as sunlight streams through the barn. But it’s her face that glows as she strokes the baby mare like she belongs here.
“All my thoughts have you in them, but it’s not just sex. It’s more like, brush my teeth— think about you laughing. Drive to work—your raspy voice echoes in my head. Hammer stuff—you’re right there beside me, probably tripping over something. Bubble baths—okay, yeah, you’re naked in that one and on top of me.”
She laughs again, the sound warming up places in me that used to be dark and cold. Then she crosses her arms, smirking. "Sounds like you need to get me out of your system.”
My voice drops lower. “I care about you. Of course I want you. But if we cross that line again—if I screw it up or you disappear—it could ruin what we have. And I’d rather have you in my life, even just as a friend, than lose you over sex.”
Her expression is unreadable. A thousand questions run through my mind. About Jacob. Their marriage. Us. But today, I just want to enjoy the time I have back with her.
“Sorry, I’m trying to think with my head, not my dick. But fuck, all I want to do is pull you into my arms and never let go.”
“Are you trying to make me fall for you all over again?” Her cheeks flush. “Because congratulations… I want you even more.”
I wrap my fingers through hers, pushing her up against me. “That’s the thing,” I say, my voice soft despite the fire raging inside me. “With you, I don’t have to try. No walls. No pretending. No holding back. And if that makes you want me more… I won’t apologize for it.”
Her gaze meets mine, warm and unguarded. “Somehow, you reopen every scar… and yet you’re the only one who knows how to stitch them back together.” She exhales, slow and heavy. “Maybe it doesn’t make sense, but the teenage girl inside me is eating up how you make me feel like I’m more than just sex. Like you speak to every part of me—the girl I was, the woman I am today, and the woman I’m still trying to become. Ironically, though, it makes me want to have you even more.”
Her words knock the air right out of my lungs.
“But I can’t go back down the same road, Dylan. The one that leads us nowhere,” she says, her voice cracking. “And I’m not even sure you’re ready for commitment. I’m still…”
“Jenna,” I whisper, cutting in. “I am ready. More than I’ve ever been.”
I reach behind her neck, threading my fingers through her hair. Her breath catches, but I don’t let her think. I kiss her. Hard. Urgent. Pouring everything into it, months of missing her, needing her to feel what I can’t put into words.
