The past hurts, but I’m not going to fear the future because the past sucked. I’m going to live a great life knowing that I survived the past. And if I can make it through that, then I can get throughit all. I know it will take time, but today, I feel the change.
I am ready to smile again. I am going to create memories, make friends, go on dates, go to school, learn something I love, and I am going to be great.Because you and I deserve a Maybelle that strives to be great.
I love you,
Maybelle Mason
When Maybelle finished reading, I cleared my throat. Her watery eyes blinked up at mine.
“You wrote that the night of the accident. You wanted to change, you wanted to beat the past, and I think you did. I think you woke up from your coma ready to start over. To make the most of your life despite the tragedy. You could’ve used every excuse to hide from the world and fall apart, but you didn’t. You woke up, and you ran, May.”
The numb indifference that had been present from the moment I showed up tonight melted from those wide eyes. She looked at me the same way she had that night on the beach and the night we shared our first kiss.
She stared up at me with so much vulnerability, openness, and acceptance. There were no walls when Maybelle looked at me like this. There were no locked doors barring me from her. It was all open, inviting, and I wanted to rush in.
Let her lock the door behind me and never leave.
“The Maybelle then and the Maybelle now aren’t quitters,” I said. “I think you just needed time, time to find yourself again,” I whispered, noticing that when she nodded, her lips nearly brushed mine.
Don’t run. Let me in. Let me stay.
My eyes closed and I almost let my desperate thoughts out between us. I was damn near ready to beg, but Maybelle’s hand on my shoulder stopped me short.
When I opened my eyes, her eyes were closed. Shedidn’t open them as she rested her forehead against mine.
“You just liked that entry because I talked about having a crush on you, huh?”
With our heads still pressed together, we both laughed under our breaths. I didn’t answer her as both of her hands came up to cup my face, her eyes remaining closed.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Then she broke my heart as her eyes opened, and I was shut back out. “It’s getting late.”
Drowning would’ve felt better than the way my lungs and idiotic heart constricted.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
Maybelle lifted one of her hands from my face to brush at the hair that fell over my brow. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our walk?”
“Of course.”
A smile graced her full lips, but it didn’t meet her eyes as she said, “Good night, Trey.”
Depleted of my will to live, I slipped off the bed, but stopped when I reached her bedroom door. Every instinct was kicking at me to go back. To kneel before her and plead with the girl that owned every part of me to keep me. To let me keep her. As I looked back at Maybelle, who watched me back, my commitment to her was reinforced.
She was everything to me. The girl who watched me with those big, beautiful eyes and a closed off heart. One day she would let me in and would let me stay, because she was mine and I was hers. She was my vault, my crutch, my protector, my balance, and my anchor.
Maybelle Mason was my hope.
“Goodnight, Mayhem.” And I walked away.
31 Magnet, Heart, Chaos
Trey
In my first year of college, I didn’t go to any college parties. The only parties I could’ve attended were on the weekends. I spent almost every spare moment of my weekends on either extra football training or by Maybelle’s side.
So, when Larson barged into the apartment this afternoon saying all the boys were going to a frat party together, I was less than enthusiastic.
I immediately told him, “No” and fled back to my bedroom. I would’ve happily remained that way if Bear hadn’t come into my room asking about my feelings.
