“Big storm rolling in. The kind that blows away bad luck and washes the mind clean.” She squeezed Gemma’s hand. “Maybe try unburdening yourself? Let the wind carry the pain away.”
“Oh Goddess.” Gemma pinched her eyes shut and spilled the truth—about Jesse’s Valentine surprise, his anger when she failed to choose him over her friends, her guilty self-bashing ever since. And the hopelessness that made her want to flee Trappers Cove and seek solace in new surroundings.
She swiped her tear-smeared face, her voice hoarse and tight. “He said he cared for me, but he couldn’t make room in his heart for my friends. I need space to breathe, Auntie Z. Why does every guy I love want to tie me down?”
Zora patted her hand and heaved a sigh. “You’re in a tough place. In this modern world, a woman’s got to defend her boundaries. Putting your friends first felt like the right thing to do, didn’t it?”
She nodded. “In the moment, yeah.” Or as close as she could get to the right thing under those tangled circumstances.
“But to Jesse, it probably felt like goodbye.”
Gemma’s voice broke. “I just don’t see how we can get past this. If he’s hurt when I go out with friends, how’s he going to feel when I need to get away for a few days? I can’t put him through that over and over again. The look on his face—it tore me open, Auntie.”
“Darling.” Zora scooted her chair closer and put her arm around Gemma’s shoulders. “You are so brilliant in some areas, but you’ve never been good at seeing things from another’s perspective. Sounds like Jesse spent a lot of time and effort trying to please you.”
Gemma knuckled her eyes. “He did, but so did my friends. How was I supposed to choose? Jesse and I were just getting started. It’s not like we’re married. We’ve never even said I love you.”
“Listen to yourself, so defensive and logical.” Zora tapped her sternum, making her owl pendant jingle. “Try seeing through your heart. By going to all that fuss, he was declaring his love for you.”
A chill slithered over Gemma’s skin as the truth coalesced, hard and brilliant as a diamond, and just as cold. Before Sunday, she and Jesse had been perched on the edge of something life changing. That fateful day, she’d nearly blurted out the big L word in a text.
He might not have said the word out loud, but his love simmered just beneath the surface, shining through every sweet gesture, every caress, every kiss. If her friends hadn’t shown up in Trappers Cove, what would have happened in that magical greenhouse?
The irony stung her shredded heart like salt—the extra-chunky kind you strew on frozen sidewalks. Losing Jesse opened her eyes to how much she truly loved him. Hell, eyes open wasn’t a strong enough metaphor. Knowing how badly she’d hurt him burned like being flayed alive with the dull knife of her own lunkheaded foolishness.
Despite their glaring differences, these past weeks with Jesse had been happy ones, filled with comfort and warmth, companionship and laughs and dizzying sex. Maybe he’d never forgive her, and maybe she’d killed his trust, but she couldn’t surrender this sweet connection without reaching out one more time.
Please, Goddess, don’t let it be too late.
“Will you excuse me, Auntie? I need to make a call.” Her pounding heart rattled her bones as she stepped outside and found a quiet spot beside a planter of soggy primroses. Blustery wind tugged her hood back and peppered her face with stinging raindrops. Dropping onto the wet bench, she dialed Jesse’s number and nibbled a cuticle as she waited for him to pick up. Would he? Had he blocked her?
“Gemma.” His voice sounded flat. Not irritated, not angry, just—dead.
“Jesse, I—” She cleared her throat to suppress a quaver. “Listen, there’s so much I want to say to you. Can I come over?”
For a long moment, all she heard was his heavy breathing. She pictured him pacing in his greenhouse, his broad shoulders hunched as he puzzled out his response.
At last, he cleared his throat. “No, Gemma. I need you to stay away. I made a mistake, hanging my hopes on you. You were up front with me about who you are and what you want out of life. I respect that. And you’re right—I can’t ask you to change your nature. But I’m not ready to be just another one of your friends.“
Her voice broke. “Jesse, you’re not. You’re so much more. I’m so sorry. I should’ve stayed with you.”
“It’s too late. That night left me feeling jealous and petty. I don’t like being that kind of person, but if we stick together, I’m afraid that’s what I’ll always be. It’s no one’s fault, we’re simply incompatible. I wish you the best, Gemma.”
He disconnected.
“Jesse, no.” She crumpled over, hugging the phone to her cheek. The stinging wind stifled the sound of her sobs.
Chapter Thirteen
Afterhuddlingintherain for Goddess knows how long, Gemma finally staggered to her feet. At least she had the weather to blame for her bedraggled appearance—not that Zora would buy that excuse.
Inside, an older couple stood at the counter, tittering with her aunt over a book. As she passed, she caught a glimpse of the cover.Kama Sutra for Seniors.
A vision flashed in her mind’s eye—her gray-haired self, in a shop like this one, ushering a laughing pair out the door and flipping the sign to Closed. Lonely and weary, future Gemma leaned her forehead against the cool glass, shut her eyes, and sighed.Another night alone.
The rumble of thunder yanked her back to the present.
“We’d better scoot, hon,” the silver-haired gent told his lady. “Time to batten down the hatches. This storm’s supposed to be a doozy.”
