The ride to The Crab Tavern was anything but quiet. Nyx spent most of it giving Trace and Antone a hard time for putting up with my bullshit.
They didn’t seem to mind, though. None of us did. I was just happy to have her in my space for an extended period of time, again.
Thankfully, the day didn’t end after we ate. I talked her into going back to my place to shower and change into something low-key so we could go to the movies. Of course, she was hesitant at first, but I reminded her that I wasn’t pushing any boundaries, I just wanted to help her take her mind off the things she’d been going through.
After the movie was over, she talked my ear off and explained why she felt like it was an eight out of ten. She wasn’t too thrilled about my rating being a six, and by the time she gave me her perspective on things, I’d changed my rating to a seven point five, which she accepted.
It was almost midnight when we finally made it back to her apartment. She’d had a few drinks before and after the movie, so I knew she was a little tipsy.
“You want me to walk you inside?” I asked as we stood in front of her door.
“Nope. I don’t need the temptation.”
“I promise I’ll be the perfect gentleman. Have I not proved myself all day?”
She smiled sincerely. “Yes, you actually have. I’m proud of you.”
“Hell, I’m proud of me too.”
We laughed.
“So, do you think we can keep this up?” She questioned as she circled her arms around my neck.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to get you in the way that I want you.”
“But what if I can’t ever give myself to you the way you want me to?”
“Then I guess I’ll just have to accept what I can get.”
“And that’s fair?”
“No, it’s not. But after having you in my space and knowing what life is like with you in it, I can’t go back to anything else. I don’t want to.”
She lowered her gaze, her emotions slowly starting to take over. “I swear, in another life things would’ve been different. But in this one, I just can’t see myself going down this road again, and with you, I know it would be ten times worse.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because I have real feelings for you. Feelings that if I give in to, and you end up hurting me, I’ll break. At least now, I still have my strength because I’ve never felt for Eli what I feel for you. I can recover from the shit he’s put me through. But with you, I don’t think I could, and I don’t ever want to know what that feels like. I’d rather live in a happy bubble of our friendship than feel that kind of pain.”
As much as I hated to hear those last words, I understood where she was coming from.
“It’s all good, baby.” I kissed her cheek. “Get inside and get some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
She peeled her body from mine and went inside.
I didn’t move until she closed the door and locked it.
40
SHADE
“You’re really going to wear that?” I asked Jassi as I sat down on the edge of her bed, staring at the fitted crop top and ripped jeans she’d chosen for her date. The holes in her pants were so big that it was almost pointless for her to have them on.
“Yes, I am, and instead of policing my outfit, how about you help me find my earring?” She dropped to the floor and looked under the bed, and immediately my eyes landed on the rips in the back that showed curves that shouldn’t be showing.
“Yo, you can’t wear this.” I jumped up from the bed and snatched the comforter from the mattress before tossing it over her. “Your ass is out.”
“Oh my God, Shade, you’re going to mess up my hair.” She struggled to get out of the blanket and tossed it back at me. “Stop being ridiculous. I’m already aggravated that this date was put off for a damn month. Between my busy schedule, his, and for some reasonyours, I didn’t think this shit was ever going to happen.”
