"Laney, I felt terrible for my role in helping you bring that monster into your life. For the past six years, I wanted to be the man to make it right, to correct a wrong. I wanted to make you happy. I would have done anything to make those picture-perfect moments last; the way you smiled for a camera broke me because I couldn't make it last. I didn't understand that I would never be able to give you that until I found the strength to leave. Coming back home, I figured out that the only way to keep that smile on your face was to give you back the other piece of your heart. The piece that I tried to own but never could because it was never yours to give. It already belonged to him."
Wow, that was not the confession that I saw coming. I expected anger and resentment, perhaps even a hint of entitlement. Hell, I was holding my breath for a threat. I didn't expect the guilt. What kind of friend does that make me?
"It wasn't all bad, Noah. I just wasn't in love with you. You did make me happy. Your friendship was a pillar of strength through some of my darkest times, and I will forever be grateful that you stood by me for taking on that role and helping me, even though it was hurting you."
The silence that follows feels different, heavier, but cleaner somehow, like we've finally laid our ghosts to rest.
"How are you doing with everything now that you know the truth?" he asks on a long exhale, cutting through the lingering tension.
"The truth is a bitch. I'm not gonna lie. It hurt. It cut deep. It's definitely gonna leave a scar, but I feel like nothing is holding me back anymore. I feel like the choices I make from here on out are mine. They're fully informed, and knowing I've left no stone unturned is empowering. There are no more secrets to haunt me. No more unknowns about that part of me."
I slurp down the last few drops of my daiquiri. "What about you? How has running your father's businesses been going?"
"Honestly, it sucks. I don't want to do it. I don't want to be his gopher or ride his coattails. I just want to do what I want to do," he says firmly, like he's saying it out loud for the first time.
"And what does Noah Donovan want to do?" I ask, licking the remnants of whipped cream off my straw.
"Fuck if I know. I'm still trying to figure it out." He hops off the stool beside me and rounds the bar. "However, for tonight, I am the bartender. Can I get you another?"
"Wait, this bar is a Donovan establishment? How come your name isn't on the front like it is on every other store in town?" I ask with a teasing tone that makes us both laugh out loud at the absurdity, and it feels good. It feels like the old us, the us before the night that changed everything.
"Yeah, I think he drew the line at putting his name on a place that sold liquor while holding a seat in public office," he says with a playful, wry smile that hints at the distaste.
"That's probably a solid call." I laugh as he slides me anotherstrawberry daiquiri. This time, it's not a virgin. Before I have time to slide it back and think of something to say, someone else is doing it for me.
London snatches the glass from my hand and takes a long drink. His face morphs as he tastes it. "This has alcohol in it." His dark eyes find mine in horror.
He tosses the drink into the sink behind the bar, the glass shattering on impact, drawing the attention of everyone seated nearby.
"What the fuck is your problem, Hale?" Noah bellows from behind the bar, his face flushed with fury.
London turns around, his body tense. "My problem is you. It's always been with you." His voice is low and threatening. "You're always trying to take what's not yours, but you're not gonna take her this time. She's mine. It's my fucking baby she's carrying, not yours." The words come out harsh and angry, his neck muscles tight as he clenches his fists.
"London, oh my God, you're making a scene," I hiss, feeling embarrassed.
"No, you're doing that by entertaining a date with Donovan. It hasn't even been a week since I asked you to be my wife... In case you forgot, you said yes." His voice wavers slightly on the last words.
My eyes widen as anger renders me speechless. "I'm here with your brother." I gesture to Trigg, who appears beside us, placing his hand on London's shoulder.
London's expression shifts as he realizes his mistake. His lips press together, and his left eye twitches as the error in judgment hits him. We haven't talked since I came home, and it's killing him. It's killing me too, but I needed time. I'm trying to work through everything I feel. Everything that's happened. He took six years. I can take a few days.
"I'm not doing this with you here," I say firmly, getting off my stool and grabbing my purse. "Let me know what I owe for thedrink and broken glass," I tell Noah before heading toward the exit.
"Laney, don't walk away from me," London calls after me, his voice more pleading now, but I'm already halfway across the bar.
How dare he? How dare he fucking assume the worst of me when I've done nothing but attempt to navigate this impossible situation he put us in. I gave him my heart, not once but twice. Coming home, I thought there was a chance I might get it back, but now I don't even know if I want it at all because I'm starting to question its true colors. He embarrassed me back there, made me mad as hell, but as I exit onto the sidewalk, all I can think about is the traitorous part of me that felt a sick thrill when he called me his. When he claimed our baby with such fierce possession. God help me.
"You're just going to run? You're not going to stay and work this out?"
I whip around, fury crackling through every nerve. The audacity of him calling me a runner. He wrote the damn book. I'm just stealing a page.
"No, that's your specialty," I bite out, my lip trembling as emotions shred me. "You perfected it six years ago when you vanished without a word, and you mastered it again when you strolled out of your room half-naked, letting me drown in assumptions while you knew the truth. This isn't running. This is you not giving me a reason to stay."
The words hang between us, each one cutting deeper than the last. I finally let my eyes connect with his. I'm not trying to hurt him. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what to do with all this pain. He fucking hurt me. "So don't you dare stand there and call it running when you taught me how to walk away."
I turn on my heel before he can see my tears. I thought I was strong, but I'm not. I'm not strong enough to survive him.
Chapter 34
