Jesus.She’s hurting?“Other than today, Bria and I haven’t spoken in months. We’ve talked about this. I don’t feel the same about her anymore. Those feelings aren’t there. And the moretime I spend with you, the more I realize that they never really were.”
“Come on, Reed. This whole thing started so you could get over her.”
“No, Hayley. This whole thing started foryou. I was always doing it for you.”
“You wanted to move on. You wanted to get over her.”
“So now you’re attacking me because I did?”
Hayley’s shoulders drop as she briefly closes her eyes. “I’m not attacking you. I just don’t think it’s that easy. And I don’t want to…” She trails off but it’s not hard to fill in the blanks.She doesn’t want to get hurt.
“Hayley—”
“No. Wait.” She raises a hand between us. “I think you should kiss her.”
“The fuck.” I fumble to remove the condom and grab the second towel, securing it around my waist before running a hand through my wet hair. This is not a conversation we should be having while naked. “What the—”
“I think you should kiss her and see how you feel.”
“That’s insane, Hayls. It’s—”
“Is it? What if I fall in love with you and your feelings come back? What if you go to LA on Monday and when you see her at the hospital, she’s begging you to love her?”
“That’s not going to happen, Hayls. That—”
“Wrong answer. Because if you’re moving forward only because you think that way, then your feelings haven’t changed. You’re just really good at telling yourself they have.”
Hayley turns to walk away and my chest aches. “Fuck,” I groan. “Hayley.Wait. You’re wrong.”
“I need to be alone.” She can’t even look at me as she collects my clothes from the floor and heads to the bedroom door,motioning for me to walk through it. “Let’s talk tomorrow, when we both have a clear head.”
“No, Hayls.”
“No?” She pauses, her shoulders dropping before she spins to face me. “Why—”
“I’m not kissing Bria. Not now, not ever. But it’s not because I’m scared to face my feelings. Or deluding myself in saying I’ve moved on. I’m not kissing her because I don’t want to. She told me on the phone tonight that she feels the same way I did. Idid. Past tense. And do you know what I felt?” I pause, letting that all sink in before repeating my question. “Do you?”
“No.”
“Nothing, Hayls. I feltnothingfor her. Except maybe sadness, knowing our friendship will never recover from this.”
“Reed.” Hayley’s eyes soften as she steps forward, but it’s my turn to hold up my hand.
“No. Wait. I haveneverfelt for anyone the way I feel for you. Deny it all you want, but I know you feel it too. This thing between us has been real for a long time. You don’t want me to kiss Bria forme. You want me to kiss her because you’re scared. And that’s the exact reason why I won’t. Because I would never do that to you. This is real. Wearetogether, and I’m no cheater. I liked her once, sure. Hell, I more than liked her. But it’s nothing compared to how I feel about you.”
“You can’t know that unless you—”
“Fuck that, Hayley. I’m nothing like the guys you used to date, so don’t try and turn me into that. It won’t work. You said so yourself. I’m your golden boy.Yourgolden boy. And you’remine. You can fight this all you want, but I lo—”
“No. Please. Don’t.”
“Hayls?”
“Don’t say it.” She shakes her head and I audibly sigh. “Please.”
Dropping my face into my hands, I let out a guttural groan before I stand tall and nod, giving in. “Okay.” I sigh in resignation. I’m not going to win this argument tonight, but I refuse to give up.
Doing as she requested, I move toward the bedroom door, grabbing my clothes from her outstretched hand. But I’ve barely taken a step when she intertwines our fingers, attempting to stop me. “I’m not ready,” she rushes out, her fingers squeezing mine. “I’m not ready,” she repeats and I close my eyes, letting out a relieved breath as my head falls back.
