And while I have no issues with self-worth, I’m not that girl. I’m here for a good time, not a long one.
A girl can dream. And dream I have. Or perhaps fantasise is a better word.
Reed’s pulled into another conversation, but I don’t miss the small smile he flashes me before he turns away.
And it has me swooning.
I love a cocky man, always have, but there’s something about Reed’s genuine smile that makes me melt. And from the looks aimed his way, I’m not the only one.
For the next couple of hours, the conversation is easy, the drinks flow, and my world feels a little lighter, telling me it’s time to hit the dance floor.
Only, I’m in need of a partner. My eyes flash to Reed as I consider my options, but as if reading my mind and deciding he’s not interested, he jumps up and motions to the group that he’s going to the restroom, heading that way without a backward glance.
Shrugging my shoulders, I stand up and rearrange my dress, double-checking that it’s covering all the right places, namely the intimate bits that it should be covering, before motioning to the dance floor.
Ever the gentlemen that they are, the guys stand when I do, and in my current state, I can’t help the giddy laugh that escapes me. “Anyone up for a dance?” I ask, grabbing the back of the chair in front of me, leaning forward. “We’ve reached that time of the night, and I’m ready to move.”
I don’t wait for a response before waving goodbye and heading to the dance floor, knowing without a doubt that at least one of the guys is following me.
And once there, I’m in my element.
On the dance floor I can be who I want to be. I’m surrounded by strangers and I don’t have to talk. I don’t have to justify my actions or explain myself. I can just be. And more to the point, I can just becrazy. I can flirt. I can sing. I can act like I don’t have a care in the world because at that very moment, I don’t. There’s nowhere else for me to be. I’m not Hayley Jackman, the actress,the foreigner, the wild child. I’m a dancer, surrounded by other dancers, all likely experiencing the same high.
I find it relaxing. It can get a little busy in my head sometimes. Being the easygoing, carefree, unapologetic one in a friendship can be extremely taxing.
Sometimes I want to be weak and frail, but I can’t be. I have to be there for my friends. I have to be the strong one.
And I always will.
That’s my life.
Closing my eyes, I let the music take over and I sway to the beat until my mind clears. And when I open my eyes, I smile to myself, finding Carter and Wyatt have joined me.
I dance around the boys, cheering at their moves, drinking in the attention until Evan sidles up to me, rubbing his junk against my leg under the guise of dancing.
I’d be pissed if I didn’t know he was joking. He’s harmless enough, and I’m ninety percent sure he’d prefer to go home with one of the guys.
“We did it, little Jackman,” he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as our castmate, Cam, joins us. “We starred in afuckingmasterpiece.”
“And we killed it,” Cam adds, the excitement in his tone infectious.
“Yeah we did, and now all that’s left to do is dance.” Evan cheers, spinning away from me as he drops down into a half squat, half booty shake and I snort as my gaze flashes to Cam, finding him jokingly rolling his eyes. This is us. To a T. And I’m going to miss it. I smile wide, but the earlier feeling of emptiness takes over me. In such a small amount of time, theJaded Beginningscast and crew have become my happy place, and now we’re about to go our separate ways, off to new projects to make new friends. And that freaking sucks. Sure, that’s how thisbusiness works, but I’m not ready to let them go. I’m not ready to start over again.
When he’s back on his feet, Evan grabs my hand, and I push my worries from my mind. Tonight, they’re still here. I’ll have plenty of time for self-pity tomorrow when I wake up hungover, undoubtedly in some random guy’s bed.
Tomorrow’s another day, but now…
“Let’s party,” I yell above the music, throwing my hands in the air as I toss my head back and cheer. My mood is what I make it, and for the rest of tonight, I’m euphoric.
Time passes, but I couldn’t say how much, as I work up a sweat, letting the music consume me.
Closing my eyes once more, I rock my body as the hypnotic beat flows through my blood, transporting me to another world.
A smile tugs at my lips, and when I open my eyes, my gaze instantly locks on Reed, my heart pounding while I catch my breath, holding his stare as he watches me from the sidelines.
I wink, seductively swaying my hips, taking him in as he leans against a bar table, his arms folded, his tattooed forearms peeking out beneath his fitted white shirt, the object of many lustful gazes. Including mine.
And he has no freaking idea.
