Those first few days after the incident were a blur for both of them, but Miles just took it one step at a time.
He knew that she had so much to process, not only the fact that David was dead, but more importantly that he took something from her she would never get back.
Every time Miles thought about their future, he always assumed they would have a house full of kids one day.
Now that future was a distant memory, one that was hard for him to accept, so he knew that it was even harder on Liv.
There were other options out there and if she ever decidedthat she wanted to explore them, he would do whatever he needed to in order to make that happen.
Miles would be okay if they never had babies of their own, but he could see how much it crushed his Little girl and there was nothing he could do to take the pain away.
Diesel didn’t know how to handle Olivia’s mood and mental state either. He just followed her around the house and laid at her feet wherever she was. It was sweet to see her lean into his strength as well.
Miles knew that Liv slipping into a deep Littlespace was because her brain needed a rest from the onslaught of emotions that she was dealing with.
He was perfectly fine with this development and loved being able to take care of her in that way.
Once she was to her new normal, Miles planned on talking to her about trying to play again at this age when she wasn’t using it as a defense mechanism.
He believes that Olivia would find a lot of peace and would enjoy letting everything go and just being his baby.
She didn’t fuss at the use of her paci or bottle when he started using those just days after their return home. The first time he diapered her as if she was a baby it was easy to tell that, even in her state, she was curious about it.
Olivia never used the diaper, but Miles wouldn’t have minded if she did. He would just take that as something else he could do to take care of his Little Bunny and it would be an honor to do so.
She never spoke following the news from the doctor and at first Miles understood why.
Now, many weeks had passed and he was starting to become concerned that she might not ever speak again. So when she murmured to him, “I love you, Daddy,” one evening, his heart soared.
He knew that everything would be okay, but that gave him another push of hope that he needed because he was starting to lose his.
Now that she seemed to be making a small step into the right direction, Miles was deciding when would be the best time to bring up her going to therapy.
It was going to be a hard conversation that he didn’t really want to have with her, but it was needed. Miles was man enough to admit that there was only so much he could do for his Little girl before professional help would be better suited.
Going into their fourth week home, Olivia was coming more out of her shell and he was thrilled to see it.
She was getting up during the day and allowed Miles to dress her in one of her Little outfits before she headed into the nursery, where she spent her time playing fashion shows with her barbies and stuffies.
Sometimes Miles would go in and do work from home while watching over her. Other times, she curled up in his lap and he would read her the next chapter of whatever book they were currently reading.
Right now that book is His Perfect Little Hacker by Everly Raine. She was a new author that Raelyn told Liv about during one of her trips over. They have fallen in love with her books and have been making their way through all her series.
Waking Olivia up that morning,Miles carried her inside the nursery to begin the routine that they had fallen into easily.
“Daddy, do you ever think I’ll be okay?”
“What do you mean, Little one?”
“Well, the mean thoughts in my mind keep telling me that you are going to leave because I’m no longer a woman. I try to ignore them and tell them they are wrong, but they can be loud at times.”
“Oh Olivia, I would never leave you. Your mine for eternity and beyond. Going through what you faced doesn’t make you less than a woman. Your worth isn’t valued on if you can have children or not.”
“I just hate that I can’t have the future that I always dreamed of.”
“I know, babygirl. Daddy wants nothing more than to take away the hurt and pain that you are facing, but I can’t. What I can tell you is that we can still have that future, even if we have to take a different route.”
“What if I don’t want that future anymore?”
