The moment Caleb used his Alpha powers on Mathew and me in the training complex was the final straw. I’d been running on basically no energy and even less emotional control for well over an hour. But Caleb ordering us out of the room with the fake guard, when I was simply trying to be productive, was too much.
Jorge noticed what was going on and helped me to get to my room with as little interference as possible. It was kind of funny to watch him glare and growl at anyone in our way, his arm around my shoulders, as he escorted me through the house.
I’m really glad that I’ve got my own room and that it’s on the other side of the house form our pack room. The side with our pack room is really busy right now, with the kids and Luca’s family, and I desperately need my calm.
Once Jorge had made sure that I was comfortable in the corner of my closet, he brought over some clothes with our pack’s pheromones, especially from Vera and Mathew, and then carefully closed the doors behind him. Surrounding me in dark and quiet, finally letting my brain slow down.
I was already running out of energy when we were leaving the research complex, and I wanted nothing more than to go home and hide with everyone in the nest.
But then everything else happened.
So, I’m well past my limit now.
My tears won’t stop and my emotions ping-pong between anger and relief, with a constant sensation of guilt running through it all.
My pack is out there, taking care of people, still working, even though they’re as exhausted as I am, but I’m the only one hiding away.
I wipe at my cheeks, but it’s no use. It’s been a while since I broke down like this. But then, it’s been a very long time since I was this exhausted, that the day simply wouldn’t end, no matter how hard I wished for it.
‘How are you doing?’ Vera’s message lights my phone up and I smile as I reply to her.
‘Not sure yet. How are you?’ I don’t have energy for much else.
As long as I stay in my little cocoon, I can be somewhat communicative with people, through messaging, but that’s basically it.
‘All over the place. Do you need me to bring you anything?’ While I would love to have Vera in my arms right now, get her pheromones from the source, I also know that she won’t be able to sit still and I need the calm and quiet.
‘I’m good. Thank you.’
I’ve never been this frustrated about having a meltdown before.
Maybe the time that Jorge came over after a mission that went sideways is the closest. But back then, I simply had to recharge and I knew that the next days would be quiet and easy. That I could go at my own speed to recover.
But, this time, I won’t be able to do that.
Tonight is busy enough as it is, and it’s not going to end any time soon. I know that the next days, even the next week, will be filled with activity and lots of people. I won’t have the time —or space— to really recharge, so I need to do the best that I can.
Which means, hiding away and trying to relax as much as possible and getting as much sleep as I can between doing other things. Anything to recharge myself as efficiently as possible, taking things one day at a time, and hoping that I can keep up with it until I can really relax.
Hoping I won’t break before then…
‘Do you want me to get you anything from your place? Vera asked Mum for help with the situation with the kids. I can grab a few things from your place if you want me to.’ I blink the sleep from my eyes as I stare at Nathan’s message, taking a few moments to understand what he means.
Vera asked Nathan’s mum, Erika, Caleb’s ex, to help with the kids. Okay, that part makes sense. Erika deals with relocating people after they’ve been rescued from the Suits all the time, she’s got a whole network set up for it, so it makes sense that Vera would ask her.
I reread the message two more times before my brain finally clicks all the elements in place. Nathan, and probably the other two guys from his pack, are joining Erika on the trip.
And he’s asking if I want things from my apartment.
Okay.
I sit up straight as I push the closet door open, letting in light from my room. Someone —probably Jorge— closed the curtains last night, so it’s not too bright.
‘Give me a couple of minutes to wake up. How quickly do you need an answer?’
Nathan sends me a laughing emoticon. ‘We won’t leave for another couple of hours. I don’t know the details. Mum and Logan are calling around to see who might be able to take in some of the kids. I don’t think we’ll leave until they’ve at least finished calling around.’
Logan is one of the other Alphas from Nathan’s pack, a good kid, and a very sociable one too. He’s a lot like Jorge, always ready to diffuse any situation and try to make people smile. He’s a good counter-balance to Nathan’s intense emotions, though, Nathan also relies on him a little too much at times. Though, with their past, that’s not unexpected.
