They had the little pest safely in their grasp in under fifteen minutes. I received a confirmation call as they were heading out of the city on the interstate. My wife and I were still enjoying our main course—
Radio Host:Oh my God! You actually had your wife’s cat kidnapped!
Guest:That’s absurd. I got off the line and excused myself, letting my wife know that I needed to deal with an urgent matter. Then, I caught up with the kidnappers and disposed of them.
Radio Host:Hold on a minute. What do you mean by “dispose of them”? You didn’t actually…?
Guest:Of course I did. And once that was done, I brought the pest home. Told my wife I simply needed to have Kurt checked out by the vet, but that I didn’t want to needlessly worry her. [Ahem.]. If you are listening,cara mia, I’m deeply sorry.
Radio Host:Wait, wait. I’m not sure I’m following, Don.Youhired the kidnappers in the first place! And thenyouchased them down and… offed… them? For taking the cat?
Guest:I’m not sure why you’re confused, James. This is very simple. No one kidnaps my wife’s cat. Or gets away with it.
