“AAACHHOOOO!!”
The sneeze exploded out of me like a missile.
The mustache launched itself off my face, sailed through the air like a majestic fur torpedo, and landed—
Right on Cal’s shoe.
He stopped.
Bent down.
And slowly lifted the tablecloth…
Revealing me, on my hands and knees, teary-eyed and sniffling…
And next to me was Mrs. Mulroney, who slowly lowered her eye patch as though she could hide behind it.
“Matt?” he said flatly.
I gave a mortified wave. “Oh hi. What are you doing here?”
He didn’t answer as his eyes shifted to Mrs. Mulroney.
“Mrs. Mulroney?”
She tilted her chin. “Or is it?” She flung her feather boa over one shoulder. “If you care to check the reservations book, you might be surprised to find you’re talking to the one and only Countess Katarina von—”
“Stop,” Cal said in a quiet but firm tone. “Whatever it is you’re doing here… under this table… you need to leave. Both of you. Do it discreetly. Do it so you don’t embarrass me. Do it so that I don’t have to explain what it is you’re doing, because honestly, I wouldn’t know where to start. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Not the craft room?” Mrs. Mulroney asked light-heartedly.
Cal chose to ignore her. “And when I return, I want to see the waiter clearing this table for the next guests. Are we clear?”
He didn’t expect an answer, he just stared long enough to make me sweat.
Then he turned and walked away with the slow, deliberate dignity of a man who just found a mustache on his shoe.
Mrs. Mulroney and I both gulped.
And we knew we were in trouble.
CHAPTER 23
Calwas pacingthe living room like a disappointed headmaster, while Mrs. Mulroney and I were planted side by side on the couch like two students who’d been caught carving swear words into the underside of a piano.
The others were out. Rashida had taken Angus and Mr. Banks on a guided tour of Haleakala—Maui’s dormant volcano. Not for sightseeing. For intervention.
“I’ve been sensing some friendship tension,” she’d said earlier that morning, arms folded. “Ever since Makani came into the picture, something’s shifted between them. Their vibe’s taken a weird detour. If they don’t sort it out, Iwillbe throwing both of them into the caldera.”
She’d looked deadly serious.
Mr. Banks had saluted. Angus had packed cheese-flavored snacks.
So now it was just us.
And the sound of Cal’s loafers clicking across the hardwood as he paced.
“Well,” he said at last. “I don’t even know where to begin.”