Wood creaked, and I kept pacing and pacing, unable to stop until a familiar warmth surrounded me.
“I’m here, sweetheart.”My home.“Whatever it is, I’m here.” Tears flooded down from my lids to his exposed chest. “I’m right here. You’re alright. Let’s get you inside.”
Ten minutes later, I was stepping out from his bathroom, my fingers shaky as I combed through my hair.
Carver patted the side of his bed, and though I tried hard not to register the look on his face, I knew what it was. Not pity, or anger, or grief, or worry.
It was much worse than that, because it rolled them all together into one.
“C’mere.”
My hands fell to my sides, toying with the edges of his hoodie he’d slipped over my shaking body. When I curled in beside him and pressed my cheek on his chest, he planted a single kiss to the top of my head, then settled his chin there.
My body tensed as I glanced at the clock on the wall. An hour ago, I was cowering in my room. An hour ago, I was covering my ears from the words of a drunken man who was trying to beat down my door. All the while Carver was in his perfect home, peaceful and at ease in his perfectly maintained bedroom, knowing his perfect parents were down the hall.
“I shouldn’t be here. I’m so sorry, I—” I tried to get up, but he held me firmly to him.
“You’re always welcome here.”
I nodded against him and counted slowly in my head until my breathing settled back down.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
“Do you wanna talk about anything?” His question lingered, and when I went silent for too long, he suggested, “How about we talk about…your birthday?”
I curled in on him more.
“Okay,” he amended. “What about…your collection? Were you able to catch—”
“Talk about you…please.” I tapped my fingers along his abdomen, hoping he wouldn’t keep pressing me for anything more.
Carver went right into back-to-back stories, mostly about Jared and him hunting or playing around, or both, and then some vacations he’d taken with his parents, what they did as a happy family. He talked until my eyes grew heavy and the darkness I felt inside ate into my vision, swallowing them whole.
I woke up a few hours later with Carver’s arm draped around me and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under my ear. I shifted the smallest bit, and his arm tightened.
“Where you goin’?” His tone was low, almost like he wasn’t fully awake. I waited a few seconds and tried to move again, but this time he rolled, putting himself above me.
His smile forced one of my own. “I said, ‘where you goin,’ not ‘get goin’.”
His mouth brushed over my parted lips, and what started off sweet quickly turned into me tearing his sweatpants from his hips and him tearing the hoodie from my body. We didn’t stop until there was nothing between us, and when he eyed his nightstand where he kept a stash of condoms, I gave a nod.
Our passion burned deep as he held me close, kissing my neck, telling me how beautiful I was. I held him tight, wishing everymorning could start just like this, with just us and nothing else. No one else.
But that wasn’t reality.
When he finished, he shifted lower, startling me in ways I wasn't expecting. Good ways.Really good ways.His smug smile as he laid on his back beside me was something I wanted framed, but the mental image would have to do.
“Been wanting to try that for so fucking long.”
I giggled as he pulled me back to him, resting me in the crook of his arm, and then his fingers dipped beneath my chin, pulling my gaze to his. “I’m not complainin’, but will you tell me why you ran here barefoot at midnight?”
I flipped onto my stomach and folded my arms on his chest, resting my head there as I stared back at him. “What are we doin’ after graduation?”
He reached for my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “What do you want to do after graduation, Ly?”
“I want to be with you,” I replied instantly.
He grinned. “I want to be with you, too.” He lowered his voice, like he was about to tell me a secret as he said, “But I thought that’s what we were already doin’ here.”
