“Nah,” I said before taking a deep hit. Holding in the smoke, I added, “I think I like this better.”
I made a mental note to get some chains for the cross-tie rings, then made another to make sure that was safe during pregnancy. Probably needed an entire book on what was okay and what wasn’t, but the thought of her dripping in metalandcum—
Fuck.
She scoffed as I angled the smoke away from her, letting the fan whip it up and take it away. Her eyes rolled dramatically. “And how long will you keep me like this? Until I let you fuck me?”
“Sweetheart, you will bebeggingme to fuck you when I’m done here.”
She narrowed her eyes on me, but even that look didn’t have the same heat behind it as it did those first few days. “What do you want, Car?”
“You know, I’m glad you kept using that name like you just couldn’t drop it from your pretty lips. Makes me think you were thinkin’ ’bout me for all those years. How great we were together.”
Lyra made a non-committal sound. It wasn’t what I needed to free her from the ropes, but it was something other than backlash. I took another hit and blew it out as I moved to stand in front of her, spreading my legs wide.
“That wasn’t a ‘no.’”
“It wasn’t,” she admitted, so low I could barely hear. She almost looked…defeated.
I didn’t like the twisty shit my gut was doing, but I wasn’t surprised. Of course, she could come back into town and steal every piece of me all over again, like it never truly left her to begin with. Hell, maybe if she knew all of my broken pieces, she’d be more willing to share hers.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever shared a bed with, did you know that?”
“You’ve slept with Lord knows how many women.” She sighed in exasperation. “I know that’s a lie.”
I gripped her chin, guiding her eyes back to me. “It’s not a lie. The only woman I’ve ever held all night long is you.” I released her chin and her lips parted. “I thought I hated you for leaving, but really…I just hated that you left. Not you. Never you, sweetheart.”
She bit down on her full bottom lip, and my heart dropped, thinking she still wouldn’t speak. But then, she said, “I think I need to be high for this.”
“If you’re pregnant with our child, then absolutely-fuckin’-not.”
“I’m not,” she replied quickly, and I folded my arms, making some ash fall to the floor.
“You’re not just lyin’ to me so I’ll give you what you want, set you free, and then you’ll end up repeating today all over again, only this time I won’t find you?” I knew she wasn’t. She’d maintained eye-contact the whole time she spoke.
“You really don’t want me to leave again, do you?” Her tone wasn’t mocking, it was full of vulnerability.
I stepped in closer and swept my palm up to cup her cheek. “No. I don’t want you to leave.” She watched as I took another hit, and when my lips fell to hers, I pushed the smoke into her waiting mouth.
It took everything in me not to slide my tongue against hers, to release the ropes and take her right there on the floor. To make ravenous fucking love to her for the rest of the day and long into the night. I spent one night inside her, and I never wanted to go back.
I wouldn’t.
I fuckingrefused.
Lyra Roland was made for me. Now she just needed to own up to that so we could put this shit behind us, for good.
Ly started coughing softly, small plumes of smoke leaving her mouth in short bursts.
“You believed me?” she asked.
“I know when you’re lying. You saying you aren’t pregnant must mean you have some form of birth control that isn’t a pill. Correct?”
She hesitated, then nodded. I took another hit and pressed my lips to hers, passing it to her. She readily took it in, like she needed it to continue. Hell, I did, too. I pulled back, still cupping her cheek. She didn’t move as the smoke left her lips with more control than before.
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, hoping the high she asked for would be enough. “We need to talk about what happened all those years ago.”
“Car, please.” Her full, bottom lip quivered. “I still…I just can’t.”
