I think of all the time we wasted
on a sun lounger in Larnaca,
waiting for Adonis to notice Vass,
while Matt was in London
boxing with The Boys.
I think of Vass being
sexually assaulted by Adonis,
and how Vass didn’t tell me
until weeks later.
I think of Adonis’s expectant smile
when he turned to me.
“And you are?” Adonis asked me.
I think of the possibility
of Adonis sexually assaulting me
and not Vass.
And then I think of me and Obi
naked in front of his mirrored wardrobe,
and what might be different on the other side.
I expected to feel butterflies,
but a tidal wave of anger takes me over.
“Obi, can you just chill out?”
I blurt as I shrug him off.
From the stunned silence I know
I’m the one who needs to chill.
Matt givesmetheBe coollook.
I don’t know what to say or where to look.
I don’t know what about Obi puts me off:
if it’s his privilege or suggestive comments
in front of my best friends.
Matt—who I still fancy.
