Elias had his legs folded, completely leaning into the curve of Dakarai’s arm, with his entire body weight resting against Dakarai’s chest as they joked and ate. Dakarai kept a protective arm across Elias’s chest, clutching his shirt to maintain the position. Elias, taking advantage of the situation, fed himself and then reached over his shoulder to feed Dakarai as well.
“You know, to this day, my own parents have never even made me a vegan meal. Intentionally,” Dakarai said under his breath.
An unexpected knock echoed through the room, and Elias’s throat tightened; a choking fit ensued. He sipped his water, shutting his eyes and shaking his head, a flush of embarrassment warming his cheeks. “I swear he’s like the embodiment of a cold shower,” he groaned.
“I can hear you,” Moodie’s voice sounded through the door. “This is your last chance to get out here or I’ll have to watch the security footage and see what kind of trouble you’ve been getting into.”
“We donotneed him seeing what kind of trouble we’ve been getting into,” Dakarai whispered, the urgency thick in his voice. “Go talk him down.”
“I’m going,” Elias said. “But think about what I said earlier, all right?”
34
Kai
7:18 a.m.
The air was warm and fragrant as Kai stood beside one of the open windows. Sweetgum trees lined the herringbone-patterned sidewalks, shading the street with a verdant canopy. One stood tall before him, its prickly gumballs rustling in the breeze. Pale light streamed through its star-shaped leaves as the clouds started to subside.
Left alone in the apartment, Kai regarded the few possessions scattered around the studio. Some black T-shirts hung on the back of a chair by the window. He had half a mind to poke around some of Elias’s bags to see if he really was who he said. The bags were probably full of passports with different names on them. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he were some kind of spy, given his good looks.
Kai peered through the window again at the sweetgum leaves. Maybe its star-shaped leaves were a symbol of the celestial and the divine. But then again, it could just be a leaf. Elias could be his twin flame, or he could just be a boy that Kai liked right now, in this moment only, the way Bobby had been.
Back then, Kai’s crush on Bobby made a lot of sense. He wascute—they got along so well that they barely even needed to talk to know what the other was thinking, and things with him were just easy. It wasn’t until years later, when they got to high school, that Kai realized he was in the majority—almost everyone who met Bobby fell in love with him. Then, after he and Bobby kissed, Kai realized they were nothing more than friends—platonic soulmates, really.
He thought about texting Bobby, but maybe they didn’t have to update each other every second of the day. It’d be nice to catch up over thumbprint cookies and matcha lattes when Bobby came back for Thanksgiving.
Maybe Elias had a point. He’d been so serious, and Elias wasn’t the type to let himself be vulnerable like that unless he meant it—going so far as to admit his jealousy. It’d be unfair of Kai to not at least entertain the idea that he had been treating Bobby as a placeholder. But it wasn’t as Elias thought. It wasn’t because of their kiss or their pet names. It was something much simpler than that. All the times Kai had fallen in love, he’d routinely scared off the other person. They’d try to spare his feelings with a lie—needing to move abruptly, picking up a far-fetched hobby. But maybe, just maybe, Kai kept trying because of what came after. At first, his motivation was to experience a great love. But perhaps over time, as he’d get his heart smashed again and again, it became more about how good it felt to cry on Bobby’s shoulder. Bobby would tell him to stop believing in the stars, but he wouldn’t challenge him—not really, anyway. If he’d gone with Bobby to Berkeley, that cycle would be all he’d ever know. Deep down, Kai understood that.
For all of Bobby’s explaining, he’d never managed to shake Kai’s beliefs—not in the way Elias had. And Elias had done so by affirming them. For the first time, Kai didn’t want to rush to the partwhere he’d end up on his living room floor playing video games with Bobby. Even if he did, Bobby wouldn’t be there now. If Kai hadn’t been so eager to fast-track his heartbreak five years ago, not even waiting for Elias to reject him at the park, they could’ve had each other in their lives all this time.
At the sound of Moodie and Elias nearing the door, Kai acrobatically leapt over the back of the couch, executing a mid-air spin before gracefully landing in a lounging position. Folding his hands over his stomach, he closed his eyes, feigning nonchalance. After a few moments, he sneakily peeked through the blurred slit of one eye, only to find the door still securely closed.
“Why the hell am I pretending to sleep? I’m not faking sick to stay home from school,” Kai muttered to himself.
Yet, when the voices in the stairway swelled again, he snapped his eyes shut and seamed his lips once more.
35
Elias
7:18 a.m.
The judgmental eyes of Uncle Moodie awaited Elias in the stairway. Disappointment transformed Moodie’s face into Elias’s mother’s—finally revealing the familial likeness.
Walking past Moodie, Elias leaned against the cold brick wall, folding his arms over his chest.I guess it’s a good thing I never unpacked; even my avocados lasted longer here than I did,he thought.
More of a statement than a question, Moodie said, “You were out all night, huh?” eliciting an affirming nod from Elias. Frustrated, Moodie pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment before finally saying, “We’re family. Do you know what that means?”
“That we’re stuck together?”
“You think I talk to my sister every day because we’re stuck together? Look, I didn’t choose to be an uncle, much less yours. What I did choose, though, was letting you live here because of your mother. You deliberately breaking my rules tells me that you don’t want anything to do with me—you just want to go home. If that’s your choice, then that’s fine; we’re notstuck together. But you need to know that I want you here. I think you’re a good kid—”
“Pft.No, you don’t. You made that completely clear to me.”
Moodie took a deep breath. “Did you fix the dessert case?” he asked, and Elias nodded, caught off guard by the unexpected question. “I’m realizing that I only know what your mother tells me about you. She says you get into fights. That you don’t listen to her. That you don’t listen to anybody.”
Elias let out an incredulous snort.
