The tree is decorated beautifully.I made sure it looked perfect before I went back home to get dressed for the wedding. This isn’t a typical wedding, and not just because we aren’t technically supposed to be having a wedding in Balboa Park, but because everything is…different. Smith’s best man is married to his ex-fiancée. Megan is not only attending, she’s making sure that everything runs smoothly. That includes giving us a heads-up if security shows up while we’re saying our vows.
I’m not nervous because I’m getting married to Smith. I’m scared it won’t be what I envisioned. The wedding day is the easy part. It’s forever that proves to be difficult in marriages. That’s why, combined with the attacks, we decided to have a small ceremony and reception. We’ve lived together for a while now and there haven’t been any surprises yet. Sure, we argue about who left a centimeter of milk in the jug without tossing it and our different showering habits. I jump out of the showersoaking wet without a towel, and he has to dry off completely before he takes one step from the stall. But everything that matters in a marriage? It’s been there from the word go. The love. The sex. The compromise. The push and pull of two different hearts headed in the same direction.
Smith and I have lived without each other, and it’s a place we never want to return to again. I need him. He needs me. More importantly, we want each other. We choose each other every single day. The way he looks at me gives me an indescribable high. It’s as if everything in the world is perfect. I need that confidence.
“I swear to God, Carina, if you don’t stay on schedule, I’m going to come in there and chop your hair off!” Jasmine screeches through our bedroom door. “Smith is already at the park with the guys. They’re setting up chairs, so you know we have to be there quick. Before anyone realizes what we’re doing.”
I laugh and pull the door open.
“Fuck. You look beautiful,” she says. Her eyes widen as I spin around, the cotton maxi dress swinging around my feet.
“It’s perfect, right?” I ask when I catch a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror.
She nods. “I’ve been fielding PR phone calls all day. The masses are expecting some high-class wedding in the Gaslamp between their two favorite sweethearts.”
Ah, the facet of my world I hadn’t thought of yet today.Never Foreverwas a smashing success. The movie is filming as we speak in a production lot in Los Angeles. I stay out of the limelight as much as I can, but Jasmine dips me in it every once in a while.
For all the success ofNever Forever, the next novel I wrote as a companion novel was received even better. I think it’s because I wrote it from two points of view instead of just the heroine. I added Smith’s point of view and gave it a happily ever after. His head is a more lucrative place to reside in. It’s the running joke in our house.
“Poppet is in her soft cage on the bed. I have her leash and harness in the side bag. Make sure she doesn’t escape. That’s your only job today!” I bark at Jasmine. “No one will know to look in the park. Weddings aren’t allowed there.” I smile to myself. Sex isn’t allowed there either, but we’ll still sneak away to ravage each other under that tree where we started over.
“I still think it’s weird Smith is walking you down the aisle. I mean, I get it. You’re like a lone soul in the family department, but couldn’t anyone else give you away to the person you’re being given to?”
I shake my head and explain the Barbie story. She laughs, calls me insane, but in the end agrees that it’s a sweet notion.
I look at myself one last time in the mirror. Wide, excited eyes and not a hair out of place. I’m ready for this. The happiness is almost unbearable, my stomach flipping and turning at the thought of seeing Smith in his suit—my cheeks flushed with the promise of a night fullof passion-fueled lovemaking.
Jasmine prattles on and on as we drive. She talks too much when she’s nervous. I fist a handkerchief in the palm of my hand as we pull into the parking lot. I see our tree from here, and a few people dressed nicely are walking around.
“Take a deep breath,” Jasmine says. “This is your day.” Then she squeals in excitement. It’s more than my day—so much more.
Smiling, I look down at the square of fabric in my hands. It was cut from my favorite floral dress my grandmother made. The one I wore until it turned into a shirt. The dress that kept me company on the nights when no one came to save me. I get choked up for a moment but then laugh when I remember how happy it made me when she gave me this dress. It was packaged in a pretty box with a purple flower bow on top.
I let one tear fall down my face and land on the small square. And then I promise myself this is the last time I’ll cry today. At least in the name of old memories.
“He said not to get a bouquet. That he was taking care of it,” I explain to Jasmine when she asks if I have everything and then freaks out when she realizes the main bridal thing is missing.
Poppet meows from her bag when she hears my voice.
“Put her on the leash,” I say.
Jasmine sighs, says a silent false prayer that her Louis is nowhere in sight, and does as I ask. Poppet walksalongside her just like a small dog. I beam at my trained cat.
“Groom. Twelve ow, ow, hot baby o’clock, Miss Bride,” Jasmine says.
My heart picks up, and I raise my gaze slowly until I see the most entrancing sight I’ve ever seen. Smith waves, his face a wash of pure joy, a smile so wide and so white that I automatically break out in my own grin.
I wave back, a small gesture. I didn’t want surprises on our wedding day or a revealing of the bride. Mostly because he makes me feel happy and safe, and if there’s a time when a woman needs that, it’s right now when nerves and emotions are running high.
Jasmine leaves, Poppet prancing next to her as she excuses herself to go make sure we’re ready to begin. The few guests we have are seated, and there are probably only minutes before a pregnant Megan rushes to tell us it’s time to begin. The small rolling hill hides him for a short time before I see him walking up toward me. Closer and closer that beautiful man comes, until he stops in front of me.
“Now that I’ve confirmed that I am indeed the luckiest man alive, I need to know how you’re doing,” Smith says. “Youlooklike the most gorgeous creature on the planet. How do you feel?”
I laugh. “Happy. Equally as lucky as you. Excited. Nervous excited. I want to kiss you right now,” I say.
Smith bites his lip and pretends to be upset.
“We can’t kiss yet, Carina. What will our guests think?”
