“She has my number blocked?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I spoke with her the other day, and she’s traveling this week. Manhattan, I think? Maybe LA.? PR is gearing up for the release.” When he reads my face, he adds, “She called me, bro.”
“I swear to God I will fucking kill you, Moose. End you—if you screw up this part of my life. Do you have feelings for Carina too? Do you want to adhere to polygamy just so you can fuck every woman I’ve ever been inside of?” It’s harsh, and I know for a fact I’ve pissed him off. A few guys overhear and sidle in closer in case a punch is thrown. Fuck, I should throw a punch.
“Fuck you, Smith.”
I push his chest, and he stumbles backward but rights himself quickly. “I’ve stayed quiet for too long. You don’t get to ruin everything and talk to her too.”
He holds his palms out in front of his body. “I don’t want to fight you. I didn’t ruin anything that wasn’t already ruined. She’s not yours anymore, either. Like I said,she called me.”
Rage boils, and I think I will hit him—clock this asshole in the face so many times that his face will never be considered pretty. “Why did she call you?”
He clears his throat. “Let’s get out of here. The gym,yeah? We can talk somewhere else,” he says, subtly glancing around us to force me to notice our audience. Everyone knows our business anyway, but he’s right. I don’t want to be the unstable bastard of the bunch. There’s always one.
Brushing his shoulder on my way by, I storm out of the room and head for my locker. Someone catcalls, and another person growls. Goddamn animals.
Moose follows me. I hear his boots heavy on the cement floor.
“You’re supposed to be my best friend,” I say.
“I am your fucking best friend. I should have knocked you the fuck out in there, Smith. You’re raving mad.”
I turn. “I’ve lost everything. Everything.”
He shakes his head. We’re alone in the hallway leading to our cages. “You have your life. Or have you already forgotten how lucky you are to have that? I surely didn’t forget. You haven’t lost everything. She calls me to ask about you,” he whispers. His gaze turns serious.
“Isn’t that fucking bullshit? She forbids me from talking to her friends, and yet she’s allowed to do whatever the hell she wants? She breaks up my engagement. Well, you both did that, and Carina gets to come out on the other side as the good guy.” I’m vibrating with anger. I’m going to hit something, and I don’t want it to be Moose. The wall is closest, and I punch it swiftly once. The crunch echoes, and bloodsprays everywhere, splattering against the white stucco.
“Jesus Christ. I won’t tell her that,” he says, shaking his head. “The fact she cares enough to call me is a good sign. Go over there. I have to get to the meeting room. We’re taking off tonight. Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I growl. Grabbing my wounded fist, I pull it against my chest. “I’m going to call her from the office phone.”
“That’s a fabulous idea,” Moose says, using a tone you’d use with a child. “Smith. I’m sorry. As fucked up as it sounds, I kind of did you a favor. Until you realize that, know I’m sorry. Okay?” He hasn’t said that to my face yet. Part of me doesn’t want to hear it, because it validates the fact that he disrespected our friendship. I meet his gaze only briefly. It’s enough to tell exactly what he’s apologizing for. Everything. “I’ll see you soon.” He clears his throat, unsure if I’m going to respond.
I nod. “Don’t mention it. Kick ass,” I reply.
He turns and leaves with a nod and smile. I’ve forgiven him, and I’m not sure I had anything to forgive. He’s the better choice for Megan.
I try to put my fists through solid walls because of Carina. It was never fair to hold on to Megan. I was selfish in my pursuit to honor Henry’s memory. I’m not ready to admit it, but Moose did do me a favor.
If I can’t be true to Henry with my final promise, it makes me feel like he didn’t exist at all. As more andmore time passes, I can’t recall certain things about him and our friendship. His memory is fading from existence in the opposite way of his death. His death and life were swift. I’m grasping at straws of his being. Of his memory. To keep him alive, I need to find my happiness. The way I see it, there’s only one way to obtain that.
The office door is unlocked, and I head for the closest phone. I move a bag of almonds out of my way and dial to get an outside line. Like Moose said, Carina answers on the first ring.
“Hello?”
The number that pops up on her screen will seem odd: maybe only a few digits instead of a whole phone number. Horns blare in the background, and there’s the static of people talking.
“Care,” I reply, breathing out deeply. I clear my throat.
“Ben, is that you?”
My heart drops.
“Where are you calling me from?”
“Who the fuck is Ben?” I ask.
