“I’m sorry, Carina. I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“Ugh. Stop it. I’m not some wilted flower. A love-scorned woman without any prospects,” I reply. “A woman who has multiple book and movie offers about the above-mentioned scorn. A woman who has a life.” I lighten my tone and laugh as she groans with each of my points. My work will tie me to Smith for the rest of my life. It’s worth reconsidering, and I have several times.
“And a woman with a bitch cat,” Teala jokes.
Smiling, I scoff. “Take it back now, or I’ll poison your chai.” Coffee shops are coming back into business after the attacks, but the one by my house is still closed. I’ve taught myself how to make a mean chai tea latte. I bring them for my friends when we get together. “Jasmine will be over before me, I think. I have a quick errand to run first.”
“Finally entering the world. I like the new Carina.” She wouldn’t say that if she knew where I was headed. “Don’t make it so sweet this time. I haven’t been to boot camp lately, in case you weren’t aware.” We’re finally at the point where a joke about the sad state of affairs in our world is acceptable.
“Your ass is too big to fit through the door even if it was open for business,” I say. “We can try that workout video tonight if you want?”
“Nah. Less sugar. That will take care of the problem,” she responds.
I smile and agree to make hers with less sugar.
“Oh, and for your information, I entered the world a long time ago. If you came up for air out of your sex cloud, you might notice it.” Macs is with a troop of SEALs that are stationed here in San Diego. Oftentimes I wonder if I would even know if Smith was back here. I’m sure he would try to be, to be closer to Megan. “Will he be here long?” I ask, fishing.
She giggles again. “He’s here long,” she says. I hear a satisfied male grumble in the background.
“Oh, ew, Teala. Get out of here with that.”
She sighs. “Smith is still gone, Care. That’s what you’re asking, right? I don’t know why you just don’t talk to Moose. You said he’s called you a few times. I’m sure he has all the information.”
I shake my head. “I have to go. Remember I’ll be a little later. Go…have fun,” I say.
“Drive safe,” she says. “Quit. Stop it.” I roll my eyes at my friend’s obvious daytime romp. I bet she’s naked right now. Lucky bitch. “Remember to just breathe and turn off the radio. It distracts you. Nothing will happen that you can’t find out about when you get here, okay? Pack Poppet some fucking toys, please.”
I laugh. Because I can’t help but smile when I think about my cat, and hastily agree. With a quick goodbye, I hang up the phone. “Sleepover tonight, Poppet! Let’s pack!”
I send a quick text to my errand.I’ll be there in an hour. You’ll be home?
His reply is immediate.Waiting 4 u.
I get ready quickly and have everything packed and in my car in no time. I head in a direction I don’t typically drive. The security checkpoints are run differently than the ones I’m used to, and it makes me nervous. I put Poppet in her carrying case, and she hates it. The officer asks me to unzip the flap. I raise a brow but oblige his request.
“Curfew is soon, ma’am. Get to where you’re going,” he says, satisfied that my precious cargo isn’t something more sinister. Teala would disagree and show you the handle of her expensive handbag.
“Of course. I’m almost there,” I say, motioning to the road in front of me that he’s blocking. A car honks behind me and beside me. It’s annoying and it makes me nervous.
He waves me through, and I turn into the gated community while I talk to my cat about how the politics of the world are a clusterfuck of epic proportions. She listens and doesn’t judge. She even meows back in irritated intervals. I can tell her anything. Talking to my cat distracts me from the stupid thing I’m about to do. Jasmine would kill me if she knew, but I’m determined.
Pulling into the driveway sends shivers down my spine, but it’s not enough to stop me. I have everything to prove. The car stays running because I won’t be long. I unzip Poppet’s bag to give her freedom to roam while I run this quick errand. I kiss her on her white fuzzy head and leave a smear of dark pink lipstick.
The sight makes me smile. As much as I hate to admit it, Poppet is the best gift I’ve ever received. She represents something so dark and painful. If I can love her, maybe one day I’ll be able to love the wounds that accompany her existence.
“I’ll be right back,” I whisper. Then I walk up the driveway and ring the ornate doorbell.
The same doorbell I chose a few years ago.
Roarke answers the door. It takes him a long time. He’s finely dressed and presentable, but a bad feeling lodges in my throat. A hint of distrust creeps, in and my fight-or-flight kicks into gear.The car is running, I remind myself.
“Carina. Come in. Please,” he says. His voice is clear, in control. Not like the last time I saw him.
I hold my shoulders up straighter in an effort to portray confidence. “Poppet is in the car. I have to be quick,” I explain, hiking my thumb over my shoulder.
“Finally got a dirty rat of a pet, did you?” Roarke asks. I slide by him. He stands too close, so my shoulder rubs against his chest as I pass into the foyer. The scent hits me at the same time a wave of bad memories does. This place. This horrible, horrible place where an emotional prison sentence was served.
“Stop it,” I say. You don’t call my cat a rat. “Is my legal file where it used to be?” There’s paperwork I need that was long forgotten when Jasmine and I moved out of here in a frenzied rush. Roarke eagerly agreed to let me pick it up when I texted him last week. That’s when I was trying things with Sean and I figured he’d comewith me to keep things on the up and up. After proclaiming him fish lips, I couldn’t very well ask him to escort me here.
