“Always start at the beginning, pal. You know that.”
I open his glove compartment. “Got anything to drink in here?” I’m frantic for escape.
Bless my best friend, he pulls a plastic bottle of Jack Daniel’s from under his seat and tosses it in my lap. I tell him the whole story, slurring through the kiss I saw and how I could have misconstrued the whole scenario. This is a nightmare I created. The chance to clear the air and stop this from snowballing was immediately after it happened. Now, I’m going to have to think of a Clover sized scheme to fix it. I pass out before we get wherever Bent is taking me, though, too drunk to even dream.
_______________
I open one eye first. I’m in bed at my parents’ house. My first thought after checking my watch is that I wish the past four days were a dream. Or a nightmare. Anything except reality. The engagement ring is sitting on the bedside table with a note from Bent.Your dad’s speech is at seven. Coffee in pot downstairs.
Sitting up, I hold the sides of my head trying to erase my splitting headache. I trudge to the bathroom, take something for the pain, and crank on the shower. I grab my toothbrush off the ledge, pour on some toothpaste and give my teeth and tongue a severe scrubbing. After I wash the last twenty-four hours off my body, I step onto the bath mat a changed man. My resolve is firm, and I know what needs to happen. Whether it works is a whole different matter entirely. Clover is here in Greenton. I need to talk to her. It was a misunderstanding. I think. First, I’ll start at the source. I grab my phone out of the pocket of the jeans laying on the floor. I scroll until I find the name Preston, and hit call.
Chapter Nineteen
___________________________________
Clover
“WHY WOULDN’T HEcome to me and ask?” I cry out, holding Goldie’s hands over the picnic table. We’re in the middle of the town square and everyone is gathering for Mr. Ballentine’s speech. Well, everyone except my daddy. I expect he’ll willow on in fashionably late and try to hide in the back. Mr. Ballentine won the election by a landslide and I think that’s the sole reason Daddy didn’t blow a gasket and start a crusade against the world. Well, and he has good sense and stuff. It’s going to be a different way of life for him. It’s already wildly different.
He has plans to add on to my women’s shelter and is working on enhancing the work program for men as well. Mama says he’s doing everything and anything to fill his time to avoid clearing out his office downtown. A laughable point when you know he has a two thousand square foot office in his house. It’s merely a matter of pride and predictability at this point. I almost feel bad for Winnie for having to deal with him since the loss.
“Really, I just can’t believe he was there, in his house, watching me out there in my pajamas havin’ Jack chase my bird, and he didn’t come over. Surprise me? Like how? Jump out of a cake? I’m so lost, Gold. I really just don’t even know what’s going on right now. I’m sad, too. He ran from me today. What am I to make of that?” Not just a regular run, either. Bentley squealed out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.
Tannie sits down next to me on the bench and sets the three beers she just purchased in the center of the table as Goldie tries to comfort me. “Honey, he was so drunk he couldn’t tell which way was up. I told you he didn’t know Jack was gay. It was a complete mess. Maybe he’ll show up soon and you can talk to him about it. I’m as surprised as you are that he’s in ‘Bama. We came to support your daddy in his…time of need.”
That we did. This election was a big deal. Anytime I called home over the past four months it’s all I heard about. From my friends and my parents. Both candidates campaigned hard and I felt guilty the entire time. Like I was sleeping with the enemy. Except unfortunately, I wasn’t. Not even once. Not even a little bit. Unless personalized dildos count, that is.
I take a sip of beer. “Maybe I don’t want to talk to Mercer. Maybe he’s a jerk who is so drunk on testosterone that he can’t make rational decisions.” Translation: I am terribly hurt that I wasn’t the first thing he wanted when he got home. If the tables were turned, I would have been breaking windows and walls to get to him. To touch his skin and feel his lips against mine.
Tannie clears her throat, circling the brim of her beer cup with her forefinger. “Or he’s a man who just got home from war. Who maybe might be lacking self-confidence because of his absence. You have a whole new life in Cape Cod and he has nothing to do with it.” Goldie and I both turn to stare at my friend. Tannie shrugs, raising her brows. “Think about it, Clover. He’s away from you and home and everything that’s familiar, doing heaven knows what. He’s getting snippets of home from you, but he’s detached. If I put myself in his shoes, and I saw what he saw between Jack and you, I think I would have come to the same conclusion.” Tannie drinks her beer while eyeing me. “It was a mouth kiss, right? You and Jack? Tell us again exactly what Mercer saw.”
Guilt rears and I can’t deny my friend is making sense. She grew leaps and bounds after I left. Tannie wrote off Joe after he got some eighteen-year-old pregnant and now she’s being the responsible adult she’s always strived to be. In other words, moving on from Joe and worrying about herself.
“Clover,” she says, prompting my response about the kiss with my gay friend.
I sigh and tilt my head back to look at the sky. “Yes, it was on the mouth. Like a peck though. One you’d give Gammy. Not like an ‘I want you in my bed type’ of kiss. He’s gay, it’s like kissing you.” I stab a finger at Goldie. “Or you,” I add, pointing at my friend. “God knows if I knew Mercer was watching, and knew he didn’t know Jack was gay, I would have given him a high-five for saving my bird. A gesture of thankfulness, guys. That’s all it was.” I think about what I was wearing.
The bird escaped up the chimney while I was making coffee early in the morning. I keep the cage open before I go to work to let him stretch his wings. He stretched them too farm trucking far that day. I threw on my running shoes by the sliding glass door and ran through the back yard to bang on Jack’s bedroom window. I was only going to ask him for a ladder, but he insisted on helping me.
“He’s a cop, he is used to helping people,” I remark, thinking about the situation from a different point of view. “I was just so thankful; I didn’t even think much about it.”
Tannie clears her throat. “But you can see how if that’s what he saw why he’d freak out a little bit? Whatever is going on between you guys was in fledgling stages before he left, right?”
Goldie makes a noise in her throat. “Totally fledgling. You should have seen the way they looked at each other.”
I throw up my arms. “Oh whatever. Still, if he thought that I was cheating on him with Jack, why didn’t he storm over there and fight me on it? Mercer didn’t even fight.” My own fight drains from my body. Everything I thought I knew about my relationship proved to be a lie.
Tannie groans. “Maybe he didn’t feel like fighting both at home and while he was deployed. I understand where he’s coming from.” She gets a far off look in her eye. “If I witnessed Joe kissing another woman, I wouldn’t approach them.” Tannie shakes her head. “I wouldn’t give him another second of my life.” She’s literally inserting herself into the story and playing pretend right now. I can see it on her face.
“You’re really annoying tonight, Tannie,” I say, wrinkling my nose. “Mr. Ballentine is going on the stage now,” I say, noticing everyone around us staring in the same direction.
The stage has a large projection screen behind it still up from the weekly movie night in the park. An American flag is projecting on the white screen. I let my gaze dart around, a careful maneuver in case I find myself staring intohiseyes. He’s nowhere to be found. I do see my daddy lurking near the back. I wave him over and he reluctantly leaves the light post and sits next to me on the bench. I hand him my beer.
“Where’s Mama?” I ask when he takes my cup and drains the rest of it.
“Don’t have to worry about drinking in public anymore now do I?” Daddy says, a dramatic flair to his words. “She’s somewhere, helping someone.” He’s not upset she’s not next to him and that is a revelation and proof of his changing ways.
I roll my eyes and hiss, “Oh, stop it. You will still help Mr. Ballentine. He’ll need your guidance. You’ve been mayor for as long as these people can remember. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
