CHAPTER FIFTEEN
LEO
“YOU HAVE TO LEAVE,”I seethe, trying to push Avery toward the front door. Kendall is going to be here in five minutes, maybe sooner. She’s a punctual person. I can always rely on her to be somewhere when she says she will. Perfect on a typical day, utterly terrifying today. I don’t want to have to explain why Avery is here.
Avery crosses her arms over her chest and shakes her head. Irony, in the most compound measure, is that Avery knows sign language because her brother was born deaf. It was something I never knew about her because, well, our relationship was always sexual. There wasn’t very much dating or getting to know one another on an intellectual level. She signs, “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why I have to leave right now. What are you hiding?”
I sigh, and look out the living room window that overlooks the driveway. Any second she will pull in. I should be honest, but I feel guilty, because like Kendall, all Avery wants is to help me. Though Avery has ulterior motives. She always has had ulterior motives. “You have to leave because Kendall is coming over. I don’t want to explain why you’re here.”
Avery winces. “Why am I here?”
“I told you not to expect anything from me, Avery. I think you’re here because you like to torture yourself. You know how I feel about Kendall. I can’t hurt her after what she’s been through.” She stopped by unexpectedly just to say hi. Or so she says.
Avery rolls her eyes. “She’s a walking disaster. That woman isn’t worth the oxygen she breathes. You’re a weaker man than I thought if you’re still pining for a chick who doesn’t give you the time of day.” With that statement she proved how little she knows about me. She’s angry. And I couldn’t blame her at first. We’ve been through a lot together. Somehow, I always ended up inside Avery Hudson.
“Talking shit about the woman I love isn’t helping your cause. Please leave.”
She takes a step back toward the door. “I thought things were going to be different after,” she trails, her fingers sort of floating in the air before she signs the rest of her sentence. “And I know sign language and can help you.”
I run a hand through my hair and tamp down on my irritation. “What? After I took a knife in the gut for you?” Her ex-boyfriend is a full-on tyrant. He’s been in and out of jail for the past two years. Whenever he was out, she would stay with me. He showed up at her apartment a while back when he got out early and I was there. Balls deep in the woman whom he still considered his girlfriend. Now, I don’t think fighting naked is a skill anyone has, but I should have it. If anyone in the world could spar with their cock swinging around, it should be a Navy SEAL.
He took me off guard when he pulled it out of his pocket and came at me like a spider monkey. He was so amped up on drugs it took all my effort to subdue him. He shanked me, while Avery watched. The scar has faded, but her adoration for that night has not. I won’t say it’s misplaced, but it is inconvenient. I was saving myself, for fuck’s sake, not trying to win any hero awards. A see a light flash across my living room, a sure sign that a car door in my driveway just opened and closed, and my eyes flare open wide.
Avery grimaces, and sighs, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to make your princess crumble. Any more than she already has.”
She slings open the front door, and Kendall looks like she might run in the opposite direction. “Oh. Hi,” Kendall says.
Avery responds, but her back is to me so I can only see Kendall’s reaction to Avery’s words and it’s not good. “Avery was leaving. She came over to say hello.”
Kendall signs haphazardly. “I’ll leave.”
“No, no. She is leaving. We have a bog night,” I say. Both women wince. My voice must be a few octaves higher than normal. I adjust and continue. “She wanted to see how today went signing the papers. Just friends. That’s all. Don’t get weird,” I say.
“So you are just friends with Avery, how you and I are just friends?” Kendall signs, pain reflecting in those goddamn eyes that haunt my dreams. Avery is a consequence of waiting for Kendall. We all have to deal with what that means.
I shake my head and look at Kendall. I point at Avery. “I deal with her as a friend. I love you.”
That softens Kendall, but she looks uncomfortable I’ve said it out loud in mixed company. “I’m in love with only you. I don’t know what she said to you, or will ever say to you in the course of a lifetime, but I can assure that it’s only ever been you. For me.”
Avery bristles as she spins to face me. “After everything we’ve been through?”
Kendall pushes past me to enter the house and avoid the conflict we all feel coming. Again. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had to have similar conversations with Avery. “I want you to have a good life, Avery. I think about you and think ‘she’s a good girl. I hope she finds happiness.’” I swallow hard. “That’s all well and good, but when I look at Kendall…” I sigh, pausing to close my eyes. “She’s it, my end. I hope she stays tangled in every thought for the rest of my days on Earth.” Avery’s shoulders slump—everything in her posture slumps. “It doesn’t matter what we’ve been through. There has never been a comparison.”
“I see,” Avery signs. “There was hope for us. Before she moved here. I saw it. That doesn’t matter, though. I can tell that nothing else matters to you except her.”
“Take care of yourself, Avery,” I reply, ignoring the rest.
She nods, and spins on her heel. My heart is pounding rapidly as I watch her get into her car and pull out of the driveway. When I turn around, Kendall is there.
Her eyes are wide and glassy. “She knows sign.”
I pull on my bottom lip while nodding. “Her brother is deaf. It’s ironic, I know.”
Her neck works as she swallows, keeping her gaze turned from me. “That’s how you learned so quickly. Without me.” Kendall messes with her hair after she signs.
Closing the door against the birds chirping sweetly, I lay my hands on her shoulders. “I watched videos on the Internet, Kendall. There are countless resources available there. Your poster, for one.” I point to where I’ve hung it on the back of the guestroom door. “She didn’t help me learn. You act like I know so much. It takes a long time to fully learn it and all the nuances. If you want to, you can help me refine it.” I grin, letting my smile beam. “You want to teach, right? That’s your thing.”
She sighs. “I can help you. Now that you’ll accept my help.”
