She shakes her hands and makes a gesture with her hand. “No.” She shakes her head and makes the same gesture again. “That means no?”
She nods, smiling.
“Got it,” I reply. “Good.”
Kendall leans over and kisses my cheek.
“Not in the hospital,” I joke. It was innocent enough. Friendly, if an onlooker didn’t know how hot we burn for each other. She can’t hide the fear in her eyes. I pull her into me and she goes willingly, her small body against mine.
We stay like that for a long time, but not long enough. She writes another message that says, “Do you want me to call anyone for you?”
Yes, is on the tip of my tongue. Avery. She’ll see the news and the crazy bitch will go into a tailspin. “No. That’s okay.”
Kendall stands, leaving a warm spot on that side of the bed, and opens the curtain. “I love you, too, Kendall.”
I wish I could hear how those words sounded. Actually speaking the truth I’ve hidden for so long. She turns back and tears trickle down her cheeks, sliding over her lips. “I love you,” she mouths.
I close my eyes, and with my eyesight dark, combined with the isolating silence, I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I understand I didn’t just give a pound of flesh for the woman I love, I gave so much more.
I would have given it all.
I should have.
