CHAPTER FOUR
KENDALL
ISLEPT IN ADAM’Sbed, but I didn’t go in the room until I knew he would be asleep. When I woke in the morning, he was already in the kitchen making breakfast for himself. I dress myself fully before joining him. Pouring coffee, I try a friendly greeting, “Morning.”
“Yep. Morning. How did you sleep?” he asks. Adam glances up from his cell phone where he’s scrolling through the news headlines for the day.
“Good, good. I have a long day today. Margaret said we have a department meeting at the end of the day. Don’t wait for me for dinner, okay? Order something, maybe?”
“Sure thing, working girl.” He doesn’t mean it as an insult, but after last night’s debacle it could be taken that way. I turn away from him and grab the loaf of wheat bread to toast a piece.
“Kendall,” he says, clearing his throat. I glance over my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’ll take a make-out session whenever you’re ready. I shouldn’t have gotten upset. I’m frustrated, that’s all. Forgive me?” A stronger woman would have packed her bags last night, but I can’t even fault Adam. I forced the marriage.
I turn back to the toaster. “Of course. Don’t mention it.” The rods turn bright orange and produce a strong heat as my heart pounds against my chest. Give. Give. Give. My toast pops, but I turn from it and round the island to where Adam is perched on a stool. Autopilot. Give. I smirk. I spin his stool to face me. Laying both hands on his knees, I separate them to make room for my body. I grab his t-shirt and bring my forehead against his. Autopilot. Give. I tilt my head. I breathe into his open mouth. I bring my free hand to his head and close my eyes. My lips meet his. Breaths mingle. Tongues collide. I bite his lip and I pull away, releasing his shirt. It’s a quick performance. Autopilot. Give.
I catch my breath when I see he bought my act. His eyes are frantic and his dick is pitching a tent. While he believed it now, I know if I do that again, we’ll end up fucking. The kiss emboldened me, though. The therapist was right in one regard. It is give and take. She didn’t say what I give him has to be real. I can give him my body. That’s what he needs as a man. My mind can be somewhere else completely. He might not even call me on my lies, he’ll just be happy I’m giving myself to him again. This is the new Kendall. “Have a good day, honey,” I coo.
“You just made sure of that,” he replies, bringing a few fingers to his lips. “Fuck, Kendall. You’re so beautiful.” I don’t remember the last time he looked at me like this. My stomach knots and unease coils my muscles.
“Thank you,” I say, acting coy. “You flatter me.”
“I appreciate that,” he says, but I can tell he regrets his word choice.
“You’re my husband. You shouldn’t have to appreciate being kissed,” I fire back.
He shakes his head. “I do, though, Kendall. Thank you for that. I need you to know how much that meant to me.” Adam looks down to his lap. “And him.”
His smile meets his eyes.A smile I’ll break with sharp lies.“I’ll take care of him, though. You have a good day at work. I’ll see you when you get home.”
I nod, give him a smirk, and grab my stuff before I head out the door. I’m ready for this. I’m ready. I feel like I can take on the world. A kiss today, who knows what’s in store for tomorrow.
The drive to work is quick and I’m settling into my emails when I hear knocks on my door. Three pounds in rapid succession. Not Margaret. She’d email me first to tell me she was coming. I call out, “Come in!”
Leo opens the door awkwardly, shoulders raised, a cup of coffee in each hand. “I brought you one,” he says. I smile as my stomach spins with confusion. Leo is not Adam, I remind my body. He stalks toward me, balancing the full cups with precision skill.
“Thanks,” I say in Spanish as he slides me coffee, just how I like it.
Leo grins. I tamp back my own Cheshire smile. “Welcome,” he says, taking a chair from the table, he pulls it up to the front of my desk. “How was your night?”
I sigh. This is where I lie. Tell him the response he expects, fine, and move on with me asking how his night was. That’s what everyone wants, right? The no confrontation answer. The easy lie. “Fine. My night was fine. How was yours?”
In broken Spanish, he asks, “No. How was your night, really?”
I laugh. “I’m that transparent?”
He sips his steaming cup, nodding once. “Out with it,” he says.
Gazing at him, I think how nice it would be to tell him the truth. An outsider without any prior knowledge of my fucked-up marriage. The therapist even knows my drama too well. I balance it with the fact that discussing my private life with him isn’t very professional, and figure we’re not in lessons yet. “Messed up. Everything at home is messed up. My marriage is broken. My therapist is tired of my bullshit. Everyone is sick and tired of me.” I laugh. “That was a lot to put on you, but you asked.”
“I did,” Leo says. “They’re not sick and tired of you, I bet,” he says.
I raise my brows. “Oh, they’re sick of me. The bad part is, I’m over the loss of her. Losing Noel,” I say, throat clogging. “That’s her name, by the way.”
“It’s a beautiful name. Your love for Christmas?”
I nod. He remembers. I got the Christmas bug from my mom. She owns an antique shop in Bronze Bay. Her storefront window display is decked to the halls every year. Helping her decorate is one of my favorite memories. “Anyway, I’ve moved past it, in my own way, just now so much time has passed between then and now, and everything is just…awkward.”
“Awkward how?” he asks, eyes narrowed.
