Chapter Eighteen
Magnolia
HEALING IS A BITCH.Recovery is slow moving and my desire to get up and go implodes on me most days. Aidan set up a bed for me in the downstairs living room and I usually sit down on it at the end of the day wincing in pain. Two compound fractures in each leg at different points. Three surgeries, and about twelve red jagged scars later, I’m able to walk without the use of crutches or a walker. I still use a cane as one side needs a little more help than the other. Kendall decorated it in her school colors, all glitter and strips of cloth and deemed it a “swaggy cane.” I’m ready to return back to my life before. I miss the auctions and spending all day working on refinishing a piece without having to take a break.
The pain is something I can deal with because it only affects me. I can grin and bear anything life throws my way. The emotions that barrage when I think of the night of the fire are something else altogether. That breed of pain is inescapable, and no matter how many times I’m told that Andrea died in honor, doing what she was called to do, the guilt doesn’t ease. It’s a miracle I’m alive—that Kendall and Aidan made it out. It sure puts life in perspective when you almost bite the big one. It’s something I work at every day. Forgiving myself. Moving on. Being appreciative of the gift of life she gave while still honoring her sacrifice.
Kendall’s eighteenth birthday passed and I bought her a car. Well, Aidan and Jenny helped locate something reliable and I footed the bill. Now she’s driving all of the time. If a parenting manual did exist, I’m sure there would be a whole chapter devoted to the fear you feel watching your child drive away into the big, bad world surrounded by people who haven’t been vetted. Her independence is something she’s longed for—craved. No longer a child with a woman’s mind. She was forced to grow up and realize life’s hard truths before most of her peers. Initially I thought it wasn’t a good thing. Who wants their child to grow up too fast? But maybe this hiccup in our life will provide a solid foundation, something to learn from.
The front door slams as she runs into the living room, backpack slung over one shoulder. “Hey, Mom. Today’s the day, right? You’re moving upstairs to your room again? Are you sure you’re ready?”
“Yes,” I nearly shout. Laughing, I clear my throat. “I’m sorry. That was loud and obnoxious. I want my life back. This house is great and all, but I haven’t been out of our yard except for doctor’s appointments for weeks. Moving to my room is another step toward freedom. Upstairs today and the sky is the limit next week.”
“It’s not that bad,” Kendall replies, redistributing the weight of her pack to the other shoulder. “You could be at Dad’s house recovering.” She laughs. It’s a little bit awful that she jokes like that, but I’m loosening my fists, letting her find her own self and she’s doing a damn fine job. “Is Aidan coming for dinner?” she asks. He’s over almost every day after work. When he’s not, Jenny is here annoying me with Bronze Bay gossip and asking me if I’m finished being a princess because she’s bored and doesn’t have anyone to go out with.
“Did you call your father back?” I ask. “Aidan texted a bit ago and he was running behind. Not sure if he’ll make it home for dinner.”
She rolls her eyes. “I did call him. He asked if I wanted to spend a couple weeks with him this summer. I told him I’d think about it. I have cheer camp and stuff with Juliet.” Progress.
I dip my head. “I think it’s a good idea. He’s trying. He’s lonely, too.”
My daughter shakes a finger at me. “Don’t feel bad for him. He dug his lonely grave, Mom. I shouldn’t have to remind you. Oh, did he say anything about dessert then? If he wasn’t going to be on time for dinner?” Kendall asks, her blue eyes sliding to the window behind me.
“Who? Aidan? Why would he say anything about dessert? Why are you acting weird?” We’re finally to a point when I don’t have to defend myself against Paul or the memories. They don’t get trapped in my mind anymore. The chapter of that book is closed. I’ve started something brand new. Or I’m trying to if my legs would cooperate. I snap in front of Kendall’s face to draw her attention. “Earth to Kendall.” I open my eyes wide and find her gaze.
“Sorry. Sorry. Thought I saw something outside for a second. Just a bird or squirrel, never mind. I have homework to do.” Juliet bustles in the door on the phone with someone, talking far louder than she needs to. Kendall sighs, and says, “She was outside fighting with her boyfriend. I had to listen to that all the way home from school.” She scoffs and calls out to her friend, “Hang up, Juliet. We have homework! You’re fighting in circles. Wasting everyone’s time!”
Juliet hangs up the call and the girls tromp upstairs, Kendall inciting a single girl’s mantra as she lectures her friend. I grin. She’ll never take crap from a man. Not even a little. Grabbing the pile of sheets from this god forsaken bed, I head toward the laundry room, doing my best walk-hobble with the cane. A buzzer sounds in the kitchen and I make my way to check on the chicken. Being relinquished to the house has made me a better chef over the past few months. I turn off the oven and move to the freezer to see if we have any ice cream for dessert.
My phone chimes with a text in my back pocket. It’s from Aidan.Tell Kendall dinner is ready and come outside.
I stare at the message, then look out the window. I can’t see the driveway in the front, and I’m not fast enough at the moment to check. I tap back,Okay. Everything okay?
Perfecthis reply bubbles back.
I tilt my head to the side and shake it. “Why are they being so weird?” I whisper to myself. I don’t have to tell Kendall dinner is ready. Her and Juliet are coming downstairs and are in the kitchen in the next second. Kendall grabs the pot holders and pulls the chicken out of the oven.
“Aidan is outside, Mom. We can serve ourselves. Lots of homework anyway.” Juliet waves a thick textbook to make her point. “I’ll leave a plate for you.” Kendall smiles so wide, it makes me smile.
“Are you guys okay?” I shake my head.
She nods, a wistful look in her eye. “Go, Mom.”
Aidan calls out from the mudroom, his head appearing from above the swinging doors. “It was sort of an asshole move to ask you to come outside. Let me help you,” he says, hazel gaze shifting between me and Kendall. Aidan is in his uniform. Full whites, his cover clutched in his hand. I lose my breath.
He walks over, winks at Kendall and links his arm in mine. “You feeling okay today? Okay enough to get out of here for a little while?”
“Of course I’m okay to get out of here. You are all acting like madmen! Where are we going? Why can’t we eat dinner with the girls? You’re so fancy and I’m wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.” I lift the slouchy pink material and let it fall. “Do I have time to change?”
Aidan turns to face me. “You look beautiful Magnolia. Perfect.” Leaning forward he takes a section of hair and winds it around his fingers. He presses a soft kiss against my mouth and pulls away too soon.
The girls catcall from behind us. My stomach flips. Every single time he touches me. The anticipation is wild after months of being separated by injury. We both decided it would be best to wait until my recovery in a more stable place before we attacked each other with our clothes off. Me moving up to my room today means more than just switching beds. “Let’s go,” Aidan says, smiling.
“Stay home. Do your homework,” I say, unable to hide my red cheeks from Kendall.
Kendall smirks. “I’m spending the night at Juliet’s tonight. We came here to eat dinner because you cook better than Ms. Jenny. Hope that’s okay.”
I’m about to argue, it’s a school night, but then I remember Aidan’s lips against mine. “Jenny knows?”
