She turns. “Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I think I can’t do anything right by her.”
Taking her waist, I bring her closer. “Don’t think that for a second. I’d be happy to call you mom.”
“Aidan, that’s weird as hell.”
I chuckle. “I know. But you smiled and that made it worth it.”
“I read these articles that say once you divorce that the child should be the only focus, that parents having other relationships just ruin the kids even more. That was my worry, you know? That her seeing me with another man might trigger something and make her even more miserable.”
“I’m not Paul, Magnolia. Kendall knows that. Do you?”
Her glassy eyes pool, and a tear slips. “I’ve never been more acutely aware of a fact in my life,” she says, using my words. “I didn’t expect happiness ever again. Especially by using a dating app. It feels like a dream.”
I kiss her lips. She tastes like vanilla. My dick responds, but I pull away before I get too carried away. “Dream about me tonight.”
“Banging me up against a wall?” Magnolia adds, pecking my lips with hers once more.
I press my lips into a firm line. “I meant something more sweet and romantic, but you went ahead and took it there, so yes. My lips on your neck. You moaning into my ear. My body filling yours. An orgasm or two that makes your legs tingle. Me coming inside you. It dripping down your legs and onto the floor. Me kissing you. Putting you to bed. Dream of that.”
“Well, that sure gives me a vivid visual,” she says, breathing heavily.
“I should go before it’s a reality instead of a dream.”
Magnolia nods. “Did you mean what you said about the best part?”
I lay both hands on the sides of her cheeks. “You are my best part, Magnolia.”
She smiles, and another tear falls.
I wipe it away with my thumb.
_______________
The work meeting was tiresome and there’s a possibility I might have to head to San Diego for some medical studies they do on SEALs every so often. San Diego is still the main base that houses the bulk of our specialized facilities. It would just be for a week or so, but the thought of leaving Magnolia makes me uneasy. It’s foreign. The attachment—this tug on my heart that’s never been there before.
“You’ve been busy lately, man,” Mercer drawls from an old leather chair in our rec room at work. There is a bar in here and we eat lunch here some days. Photos of our brothers killed in action line the walls and awards and news articles of our accomplishments are tacked on the wall with haphazard care. It’s a man cave to the extreme. It smells a little like sweat and gunpowder. Someone is cleaning a gun on the counter behind me.
Tahoe walks in and slinks into a chair next to me. “He’s got a lady now. My how things change, am I right?”
I hate that he’s right. Hate the years I spent naysaying, calling coupled dudes pussies. Quite the opposite is actually factual. Being in a relationship takes fucking balls. Huge ones. More nerve than is required to steal a life. It takes diligence. Persistence. Patience. Work. “You were right,” I say, taking a sip of keg beer. “You heading to medical tomorrow too? I’m trying to get out of it.”
“Yeah, I’ll head over there. My back’s been hurting,” he says, rubbing his lower back. “Should have the specialists check that over.” The sleek black boats we ride are torture on our bodies. We don’t sit on them. We stand. And our spines take a beating as we speed on the wake. Most of the SEALs have some sort of lingering pain due to the trauma of our training. Hearing loss is common. So is back and neck pain. “You can’t get out of it, dude. Might as well do it now.”
“I know. I was just settling into small-town life. Heading back there won’t be good for the mind, you know?” That’s where all of my mistakes are buried. The women who I passed my time with. The failed relationship. The atmosphere that fostered a person I’ve walked away from.
Tahoe chuckles. “It will be different. Feel different. Plus, it’s just for a week. Even Aidan Mixx can stay out of trouble for a week.”
“I can,” I affirm. Then I ask him about his life and listen to him talk about his family. I leave the conversation feeling a resolve—an unwavering commitment to the decision I’ve made about my future with Magnolia. It’s a huge step, one I never in a million years thought I’d want to take. It’s because I never met her. Never knew something this strong could exist.
I visit Magnolia at her store on my way home from work and she locks the doors and we ravage each other on a bare mattress upstairs twice before I finally leave for home. When I stopped in it was to just say hello, and I told her as much, but I think that it stoked the flame even more because she jumped on me almost immediately. She wasn’t happy when I told her I had to go to San Diego for a week, but she understood. Quality time with Kendall would never be a bad thing, she said, and there were a ton of activities going on at her high school Magnolia could attend and help out with.
Just because she’s okay with it, doesn’t mean I’m okay with leaving her. My apartment is silent and dark when I come in and throw my keys on the table—the blankets from our sleepover still on the floor. I slept there last night, too. It smells like her. It’s safe. I shower and I’m about to turn on the television when I catch sight of a note on the countertop. It’s written in Magnolia’s girly script. It’s an address. Somehow, and I’m not sure why, maybe it’s my SEAL intuition, I know it’s my parents’ address. It didn’t take her long to figure this one out.
Even though she has my best interests at heart, I’ll never be able to face them again. My parents are near San Diego. Where I’ll be for an entire week. They must have moved there recently. I wonder why they went there. It couldn’t possibly be because that’s where I was, so what was the reason? The address gives me enough to contemplate and to fill my brain with. I text Magnolia to tell her goodnight but make no mention of her note. I fall asleep in our love cocoon dreaming of the SoCal skyline. The dream swiftly morphs to fucking Magnolia against a wall. Her whispering that she loves me.
_______________
“Woah, woah, woah, what are you talking about?”
