Chapter Thirteen
Aidan
IKNOCK THE WALLin Magnolia’s living room with the side of my fist. “These walls seem pretty sturdy,” I say, gaze flicking to Magnolia. Kendall is sitting on the sofa scrolling on her phone. Dinner was quiet, her daughter only speaking when her mother prompted her to respond.
Magnolia’s neck works as she swallows. I let my grin spread wider. “They are, but it will be easy to open up the one in the upstairs hallway to get to the electrical.” I’m under the guise of a repairman, and a friend. Magnolia choked when introducing me to Kendall and I helpfully supplied the profession. I know this has to be hard for her. Difficult in the way that anything is when you don’t have any experience with it. I’m in it for the long haul so I’m willing to take baby steps even if it makes my chest hurt not being able to touch her. “You’re sure that’s where the electrical is for the ceiling fan, down here?”
Magnolia nods and casts a furtive glance at her daughter. “Kendall, can you think of anything that needs to be repaired in your bathroom?”
Kendall looks up, both eyebrows raised. “No, Mom. Is there anything you can think of that needs to be repaired?” Her sentence is laced with venom.
“Don’t talk to me like that, young lady. What has gotten into you?”
Kendall drops her phone on the cushion next to her and clasps her hands on her lap. In a move that tells us, even me, a person unskilled with kids, she’s going to unleash some sort of demon. “Stop lying to me, Mom. He’s not a repairman,” Kendall snaps. “I’m not an idiot. Don’t treat me like one. Can I go to my room?”
I clear my throat and draw two sets of eyes. “I can repair anything,” I deadpan. It’s a semi-lie. If I can’t fix it, my bros will know how. That’s the same thing.
Magnolia puts up a hand to silence me.
“I wasn’t sure how you would react if I told you I was dating Aidan, Kendall. Everything is tricky—tedious. I’m not lying to you,” she says, shaking her head. “I love you and I wanted to do what was right by you.”
“Mom,” Kendall fires. “The second he walked into the house I knew what he was to you. I’m not some child you need to shelter. Dad messed that up, remember? You are my person. The person I trust. I’m old enough to recognize,” Kendall says, pausing while she glances at me, and then back to her mother, “whatever it is between two people who…like each other. It’s obvious to me, so please don’t treat me like a child.”
I take a breath for the first time in at least thirty seconds and put one hand in my pocket. With the other hand, I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “I can let you guys talk?”
“No,” Magnolia says, patting the seat next to her on the loveseat. “Sit down.”
This is a lot to take in. I realize now how serious of a thing this conversation is. I break out sweating. I’m barging into this broken home claiming a position that has been vilified up until this very second. Crossing to her, I sit. She takes my hand and squeezes hard.
“I’m sorry, Kendall. I’m sorry,” Magnolia says.
“It was actually me who did the lying if we’re being technical,” I offer.
Kendall glares at me. “What are your intentions for my mother?”
Magnolia starts to speak, but I cut her off. “I’m going to fix the ceiling fan first and foremost,” I announce. Kendall grins. Magnolia sighs. “Then I’m going to make sure nothing else breaks.”
“How can you do that?” Kendall asks, raising one brow.
I’ve been hooked up to lie detectors at least a dozen times. There is training we’re given on how to be deceitful, how to sway the test in our favor. I’m good at it. Right now, though? I’m sweating like a whore in church. Honesty is the only option. “Well,” I say, clearing my throat. “I guess I can’t promise nothing else will break, but I will always be here to fix it. I might not be a perfect repairman, but I’m a quick study. I’ll always give it my all. Your mom is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. I’d fix anything for her.”
Kendall is silent, contemplating her next attack, I’m sure. I glance at Magnolia and her eyes are glassed over.
She sniffles once and says, “Kendall, I’m happy. Aidan makes me happy in a way your father never did, but you are my first priority. If you are uncomfortable having Aidan around, just say the word and we can continue our relationship out of your world.” Magnolia shakes her head. “I wouldn’t be offended in the least. I’m serious. You are more important than anything else.”
It’s in this moment that I realize what everyone says about parenthood is true. After children are born, there is a change, and everything revolves around them. There is a small itch inside that wants me to be jealous of that fact that Magnolia will never be only mine. However, the rational fact is, Magnolia is a good mother. A mother I wish I had. A mother I’d want for my own children if that day ever arrives. That is what matters. She releases my hand and folds herself into Kendall, giving a giant hug.
“Do you think I’m some sort of monster, Mom? Of course, I don’t care if he’s around,” Kendall sniffles, burying her face in Magnolia’s long dark hair. “I was just upset that you lied to me. I’ve known. You’ve been acting different. Something has been up. Keep me in the loop.”
Magnolia pulls away, and wipes at Kendall’s tears with her thumbs and tucks her hair, the same shade as her own, behind her daughter’s ears. I’m an intruder in this moment, but I can’t look away, can’t stop reliving a childhood when my only wish was to have someone wipe my tears.
I’ve never wanted something more than I want Magnolia in this moment. I want to make her mine forever. For everything she is. For everything she isn’t. I’ll give her everything I can give her, make sure she knows she’s loved, knows that Kendall will always be cared for.
“Kendall,” I say, my voice cracking. Both of them look at me and it’s a little jarring how similar they look when they’re upset. My heart pounds as the adrenaline hits. “Your mom is the very best part of my life.”
Their smiles are identical, and an emotion washes over me. An unfamiliar feeling. The best way to sum it up is: mine.
“Okay, okay. Enough of this. I have ice cream for dessert. Let’s hear all about the camp, okay?” Magnolia blurts out.
