Epilogue
Leif
Three months later . . .
“You had me hanging twinkly, fucking, dangly lights on the deck, Malena. I’m pretty sure if I’m capable of using a step stool, I’m capable of inserting my dick inside you,” I say, wiping my brow, a film of sweat threatening to leak down my face. “Come on. I’m cleared for sexual intercourse. You heard the doctor.”
Malena gives me a look. One that is meant to defuse the tension, and end the conversation at the exact same time. We got married in the courthouse the second I left the hospital in Bronze Bay. I was transferred there to be closer to her during recovery. It was the first thing I wanted to do. The only thing that mattered on a to-do list so long there’s an actual possibility I’ll never get it all finished in this lifetime. I guess that’s what happens when you’re in a coma for nine months.
There was no fanfare with our marriage. She wore a white dress that dragged across the ground because it needed to be hemmed. I wore khaki pants and a navy blue button-up shirt. Shirley was our witness and our vows were the most powerful, perfect words I’ve ever spoken. Vows I’ll cherish forever. Promises I’ll keep. “We’re going to consummate our marriage tonight. I have this planned, remember? Luna is spending the night with Eva. You and I will have the house to ourselves. Let me plan at least one facet of our wedding. You must realize it pains me to organize every trivial detail of other couple’s weddings and not be able to control things in my own?”
She tries to scurry by me to head into the house, but I grab her by the waist. “You wanted to get married at the courthouse. That was all you.”
“Because I didn’t want you to change your mind. I had to trap you,” she counters.
“You didn’t trap me. I trapped you,” I say, glancing at Luna in her playpen. “Because my sperm are like fucking bolts. They sizzle and pop,” I whisper into her ear. “Tonight. I won’t wait a minute more.” “After the party,” she says, leaning up and back to accept my kiss. “How are you feeling?” she asks against my lips. “Any pain?”
There’s always pain. I don’t complain about it too much because I’ve been fortunate in every other way. My job in Bronze Bay was waiting for me. I have a loving family. A wife. A daughter. All the things I never imagined would make me happiest in life. “I feel great. Perfect. Ready for tonight. After the party,” I deadpan. They cleared me for physical activity today, and sex falls into that category. It didn’t matter how much I argued with the doctors, they would smile, and tell me no. One week I tried to convince them intercourse would aide in a quicker recovery. They didn’t agree. Fuckers. I still have shrapnel in my body and my leg is fucked up, but I was lucky Aidan saved my ass from total annihilation.
We’re having a small intimate gathering to celebrate our wedding. Just a small group of friends and our family. Or rather, my family and Malena’s cousin Amber who came into town for the night. Reintegration has been easy. I use the attack as a place to reset. I came back to life and began a new life. Not completely different than my old life, but more important. “Let me get back to it,” Malena says, hugging me. “Everyone will be here soon and I want it all to run smoothly.” She vanishes into the yard, bustling around the rented tables set with cloths and silverware. Caroline and Shirley are already out there working.
Scooping up Luna, and the rattle she has permanently shoved in her mouth, I head back into the house. We’re living in Malena’s house. It’s farther from the beach, but it feels the most like home.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, bouncing her on my hip. “We’ve been told to stay out of the way. We should eat.” There’s a platter of meats and cheeses sitting on the island. I eat a bite and readjust the rest so it’s not noticeable. Luna’s food is in a container, so I grab it and a spoon, and set her up in her highchair.
“The fighter jet is coming to drop a bomb, sweetie,” I coo, using a high-pitched voice. “Open up so I can drop it off.” She smiles a half tooth, half gummy smile and opens up wide. “And Mommy says you don’t eat for her. She needs to drop bombs, doesn’t she baby?” I plug the gelatinous wet green beans into her mouth and watch for spill over. “Peaches are for dessert,” I say. Luna babbles on, responding in her own language and claps her hands.
“The submarine needs to open the door,” I say, opening my own mouth wide. “The divers need to get back in.” The baby opens her mouth and makes noises of approval for the sweeter food.
“It’s ridiculous, you know? How easily you get her to eat.”
I shrug. “I mean we all can’t be good at everything,” I say.
My sister, Eva rounds a corner. “You aren’t good at everything, Leif,” she hisses. “You almost get yourself killed. You’re like the worst Navy SEAL in history.”
Luna laughs, because she always laughs at Eva, and I groan. “Nice to see you too, Sis.”
“I brought what you asked, Malena,” Eva says, dropping a kiss on my cheek and then pulling a chair in next to the baby. “How is auntie’s favorite girl?” Luna slams her hands down on the highchair in glee. “Is daddy giving you a hard time? You want a cookie?”
“No cookies, Eva,” Malena and I say at the same time. Then we look at each other and smile. I’m getting the knack of this parenting thing. I mean, I feel like I’m going to war unarmed, but there’s a learning curve I’m mastering.
Eva holds up both hands, palms out. “Fine, fine. They’re real sticks in the mud. You’re spending the night with me tonight. I’ll give you cookies later,” she whispers loud enough for us to hear.
“There were a few people coming in the side gate. I’ve got Luna. Go ahead and greet your guests, newlyweds.” Eva smiles warmly at Malena. When she turns her gaze to mine, she winks.
Luna cries when I stand up, but Eva distracts her easily with a new toy she pulls out of her purse. It’s always equal parts appreciation and guilt when Eva is around Luna. It’s so blatantly obvious how wonderful of a mother she would be. She was forced into the capacity of aunt, watching Malena and I hit milestones that she’ll never have. She gave up mentally after the last round of IVF failed and she’s finally given up emotionally too. Malena says she prays every day that our family and my near death didn’t use up all of our miracles and maybe, one day, Eva’s dreams will come true. Crazier shit has happened.
I am living breathing proof. As the night wears on Malena transforms from the hostess with the mostess, to my new wife, and as guests trickle out, the longing for her intensifies. If you go by a calendar, it’s been way over a year since I’ve had sex with her. Merely thinking about it makes my dick hard. As people filter out, I wash dishes as I see them pop into the kitchen, so there are no excuses, or things to do when the last person leaves. Nothing to do except her.
Eva and Celia left with Luna an hour ago because she was getting tired. It’s the first time she’s slept away from Malena, and I know she was hesitant to give over control. She wants a night alone with me, though, and we both knew this is how it had to go. This is what family does. And we are indeed, by law, a family. “I’m taking off, bro,” Aidan says, getting my attention.
I dry my hands on a dish towel. “See you at work next week, man.”
When he sees me watching, he slides his phone back into his pocket. “Back to work so soon?” he says, looking distracted, touching his pocket. Who is he talking to?
“I’m cleared for physical activity. I’m home. Got the girl. I’m ready to tackle anything.”
Aidan laughs. “Not quite everything. You need to hit the gym.”
