I scroll my cellphone until my finger is hovering over Celia’s name. I press the green button without thinking twice. She answers on the third ring, out of breath.
“Hello?”
My breath catches. She must hate me. The bitch she thinks cheated on her brother. “It’s Malena, Celia. Hi. How...are you?”
She sighs. “Malena,” she says. I hear her swallow. “I’m good. How are you doing? I was sorry to hear about your mother.”
My heart trips. “Thank you,” I reply, meeting Shirley’s eyes. She nods, exaggeratedly, urging me on. “That’s sort of why I’m calling, Celia. I just came across a letter she wrote and I was hoping you could tell me the best way to get in touch with Leif.” Saying his name out loud slices. It’s unfamiliar and that fact makes me break out in a cold sweat. “If you don’t mind, telling me, that is. I need to clear something up and fast.”
“Malena,” Celia whispers. “You don’t know?”
“I don’t know what?”
She laughs. “Why would you know? You broke his heart and left him. Why would you care?”
“You don’t understand. I’m so sorry,” I say. “Please. Please, Celia. Tell me.” I already know it’s not good.
“He was almost killed in an attack off base nine months ago. He’s been in a coma every day since, unresponsive. They’re pulling life support on Monday. They’ve done everything they can for him and we can’t fight the hospital’s attorneys anymore. It’s over.”
“What?” Half of my brain has processed the tragedy and the other half refuses to accept it as truth. “That can’t be. There’s no way. Where is he?”
“I won’t tell you. You don’t deserve it. I saw the photos.”
“It wasn’t what you think, Celia. I need to see him. His daughter needs to meet him. Please.”
“What are you talking about, Malena? I’m at work, and I don’t have time for bullshit today.”
“It’s not bullshit. It’s a very long story, but I do have Leif’s baby. She’s four months old now and looks just like him. He didn’t want kids, Celia. You know that. I broke up with him so he didn’t have to take on that burden. I did it because I love him. I wanted him to live the life of his choosing and now I find out that not only has he not been living, he’s almost dead. Please, if what you say is true it won’t hurt for me to visit him, to bring Luna to meet her father before he dies. She deserves that. Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do whatever you say.”
“You’re serious,” Celia says. “I can’t believe this. The guy in the photos?”
“Was my ex-husband. An ex because I couldn’t give him a baby. There was never anything between us after the divorce. I went there to tell him I was pregnant and to…to prove that it was never my fault, or maybe to get closure or something of the sort. I know what the photos made it look like and I’m sorry, but I had to use those to make a break from Leif. I saw it as my only way out. The only way he’d let me go without a fight.”
“It never occurred to you to tell him the truth? That he would be happy about having a child with the woman he loves?”
My stomach roils. “No,” I say, shaking my head as I wipe tears from my eyes. “He always told me how adamantly against children he was. You have to believe me.”
“Eva is going to lose her fucking mind when I tell her this.”
I sigh. “Don’t tell her. Let me see him first. Where is he?”
She blows out a breath. “He’s in Bethesda, Maryland. I’ll meet you there otherwise, they won’t let you in. How fast can you get there?” I’m already on the computer booking airline tickets when she asks the last question. “You’re really going for shock factor, aren’t you? I don’t know how you were going to keep this secret.”
“I have already booked tickets. We’ll meet you there at five P.M. Please, just let me visit him before you alert every living relative of Luna. I’ve kept the secret this long because it means something to me. I want to protect her. I know I was wrong by keeping her from him and you guys, but I need this to be on my terms. Leif told my mother he wanted a family with me. It’s what spurred this and why I need to make amends. I can’t take back the past, but I can make things right going forward.”
“I’ll meet you there,” Celia says, voice harsh. “Malena?”
“Yeah?”
“Be prepared for the worst. He’s not the same person. He looks like he’s already gone.”
I let out a silent sob, covering my mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’ll see you soon.”
