He raises his eyes from our entwined hands to mine, a smirk on his face. “I’m not scared about doing my job. I’m good at that. That’s like breathing for me. I’m worried about…you. Leaving you. Not having you. Not seeing you. Not coming home to you. Leaving you isn’t something I’d planned on and the mere thought of it makes my chest hurt.”
Now his voracious declarations make sense. I smile. “You’ll still have me,” I say, putting the rest of my clothes on while he watches my every move. “Just via video calls and letters. It’s a foregone conclusion. I’m not going anywhere.”
He leans in and presses his lips against mine. “I’m going to love you forever.”
My heart skips a beat, and my stomach flips. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Isn’t that what they say?”
“And punishes the dick.”
Something pings. “You’re not going to see other people while you’re away, right?”
He pulls away, one brow raised. “Are you seriously asking me that? After everything? I don’t want anyone else. I’ve never wanted anyone else. You’re it for me, kid. You’re it.”
Grinning, I reach up and hug him laying my ear on his chest. I let the thumping of his heart calm mine. As long as his is beating, mine has a reason to keep going as well. I didn’t plan on falling for a military man. The sacrifice on both sides wasn’t something I ever considered. Sure he’s off at war doing battle against those that wish ill will against innocents, but what about everyone they leave behind in their wake?
He whispers things to me. Details about the time he’s leaving and what he needs to accomplish by morning. There’s a laundry list of things I agree to take care for him. It’s all business for a couple hours as he lays it all out for me—delivers my worst nightmare like it’s an everyday occurrence. I don’t miss the excitement in his voice when he talks about the mission, and the particular bad guy he’s been after for a long time.
My heart starts hollowing in a Leif sized space at that moment. Setting him free. Paying the price. Getting what I deserve—what I always knew was coming. He’s leaving me.
