I fold my arms around my stomach to hold myself together. “It will kill me,” I whisper. “I can’t go through that again.”
I’m engulfed in his warm arms in the next breath. I sigh, relaxing for the first time in days. He smells so incredible. He feels so perfect. His words hit the right spot in my heart. He sighs, leans his head down, and inhales deeply.
“I’ve got you. I’ll never do what he did to you. I won’t abandon you, Windsor. I’d rather kill myself than hurt you,” he says, still breathing in my hair by my ear. I wish there were a handful of guys in between the Nashhole and Maverick. Then I’d be ready for this. “I have no self-preservation awareness when I’m around you. My happiness is directly dependent on you,” he says.
He pulls me away and holds my shoulders. He looks so shaken by his confession that I actually see his shoulders shake. I want to kiss him. I want him to know I’m his. I lean toward him, but he immediately backs away.
“Please, just…can we leave here?” he says, stuttering. He notices I’m aware of his verbal trip up. “This,” he waves his arm around the hotel room, “is something out of my worst nightmare,” he says stonily. “You upset. Crying. Standing in front of a bed, in a fucking hotel room.” He shuts his eyes tightly, trying to erase the image from his mind. “I never wanted to see you like this. Especially here, Windsor. You have to understand—you have to believe me when I say you’re different.” His voice drops lower.
I close the gap between us and hold his big bear paws in mine. “I’m getting that. I’m sorry, I just saw all of those girls all over you and I got jealous, and they are all so flawless and want to give you whatever you want. I don’t even know what you want me to give you,” I admit. My face flushes. He still looks extremely uncomfortable in this room. “You do know you are eventually going to have to have sex with me in a hotel room, right?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
The corner of his mouth wedges up, but the dimples don’t come out to play. He shakes his head. I sniffle loudly. He picks me up with ease and carries me to the bathroom. I wrap my legs around him when he places me on the counter, to hold him to me. He reaches for the tissues and hands me one. I wipe my eyes and then my nose. He just stays silent, happy just to be with me. I lean my forehead against his chest.
“Why are we so messed up?” I whisper. I feel him kiss the top of my head. Every touch he gives is so full of feeling. It’s like he knows I need everything he gives without even asking. Being with him is effortless.
“I don’t know, but know this, and remember this, you shouldn’t be jealous of anyone, I only want you and because of that I’m about to ask for the most selfish thing I’ve ever asked for,” he says, pausing, waiting for me to respond.
I nod my head. He couldn’t possibly ask for anything that selfish. I mostly think this because I’m currently in a state of hysterics.
“I want you to give me you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. His words line up with everything Stone told me earlier this morning. He doesn’t think he deserves me, or a relationship. I wrap my arms around him a little tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere, Maverick. I promise. I meant what I said out in the hallway. Well, I said a lot of things, but when I said you were worth the risk…I want give this a chance,” I confess, placing my hand over his heart. He blows out a giant breath. “You couldn’t possibly think I’d deny you that request? You did just defend my honor. I did the one thing I’ve dreamed of doing for years now.” I lift my head and meet his hazel eyes. One dimple pops up. I laugh.
“What? Crack his face in?” he asks. “Because technically I did that.”
“No,” I say, tracing his smile with my thumb. I place a quick kiss on his dimple. “I took a risk. I tend to do that a lot around you.” A hot rumble of laughter echoes in the small space.
“Don’t run away again. Please. Just talk to me. We’ll work it out. I’ll be what you need me to be. Okay?” he says the words quickly. He doesn’t want to say them, he needs to say them. He seems more calm and rational in here…away from the bed. So, maybe he doesn’t hotel date in hotel bathrooms?
“I promise,” I say, crossing an X over my chest. “Only if you kiss me right now.” One of his hands comes up to caress my neck, the other pulls in my hair. A view of both dimples and a huge white smile is all I see before his mouth crushes mine. His lips move with mine, his tongue mimics mine and I am in control of everything. His caution only enlivens me.
I lace my hands around his neck and hold him to me even tighter. Butterflies invade my stomach when he grunts in male satisfaction. His lips leave mine and I feel a little lost. Then I feel his lips and tongue grazing my jawline and then down my neck. I tilt my chin back to give him easier access. He licks a trail from behind my ear and down to my collarbone, and then back up. He nips my earlobe.
“Let’s leave. Come to my house,” he growls. It really is a growl, too. I grab the sides of his face and force his mouth back to mine. Unbuttoning my shirt, I tear it off and throw it on the bathroom floor. The blue lace bra is sheer and my nipples are puckering through the material. The heat of his lips disappears when he pulls away.
I reach around my back and unfasten my bra and throw it away as well. “Take off your shirt,” I command.
My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It’s all breathy and sexy, and I would totally want to have sex with me right now if I were him. His eyes fixate on my chest and it looks like he’s going to attack me. I want him to do his worst.
“Are you going to say no to me, Mav?”
Chapter Eleven
Maverick
The sexiest woman in the world is half-naked and begging me to fuck her—just shy of serving herself on a silver God damned platter. She called me Mav. I feel like I should fuck her right now just to reinforce the good behavior. I never thought it would go down like this when I came to the hotel.
She repeats herself. “That’s a no, then?”
I’m so lost inside my own head and consumed by just looking at her bare chest that I forgot to answer the first time. I grab the back collar of my shirt and pull it over my head, baring my chest to her. She immediately starts tracing my skin, my tattoos, with both of her hands. I know I have to stop this because I can’t go much further here. In this fucking hotel room. She is so much better than this. I have her on a bathroom counter like some random bag.
She leans over to lick the bone frog tat on my neck and her nipples buzz across my chest. Everything she does feels like it’s the first fucking time. I don’t even know how many mouths have kissed my tats, but right now all I care about is that her mouth is on me. She’s the only mouth I’ve ever wanted on me.Stop her. Stop her.Her wet tongue trails over my nipples.
“Fuck,” I rasp. My dick is so hard, the second she touches it I’ll lose it. Along with self-preservation, my self-control is shot to fucking shit. Her blue eyes rise to meet mine. A smile crosses her delicious mouth and a piece of her brown hair gets in her face. I brush it away. She bites her lip. Then she places a kiss on the right side of my chest, directly above my heart. There’s no tat there. She kissed me there because she wanted to kiss me, not my ink.
I take my t-shirt, which I held onto for good reason, and put it over her head. She puts her arms through the sleeves, and then crosses her arms over her chest and juts out her bottom lip. So fucking hot.
“My house?” I ask, taking her pouty lip in between my teeth. I pull it out a little, like she does with mine. She sighs. “Please don’t beg me today, Win. I’m not strong enough to hold out. I’ve missed you. I want everything to be perfect. I want to take it slow,” I say again. My excuse seems weaker and weaker each time I say it. She hops off the counter.
