Squeezing me a touch tighter, she says, “You are the favorite part of my life.”
I kiss her cheek and pull away. The crowd of black and maroon cascade around us in a sea of humans. Everyone is warier now than they would have been before the attacks. Large groups like this aren’t something anyone likes. Even happy gatherings carry risk and you have to balance the reward to compute if it’s worth it. I know at least twenty students who were having small parties at their homes with their parents and were forgoing commencement altogether. The thought is a reminder of my aunt, and my sadness deepens.
“Auntie would have loved to be here,” I say, my eyes turned down to the ground.
We find a bench that overlooks the yard in front of the house and sit. My father is happily engaging with any other parent who looks his way. “She would have worn something tight and then bragged when the college boys looked her way,” Mom says, a small smile playing on her lips and then laughs. “She wouldn’t have given them the time of day, though.”
My hands folded in my lap, I try to stifle all of the memories that contain my aunt. She was the first one to show me how to do my makeup, the first one to come to my aid when I chopped off my hair and needed it to look…girly. My aunt was my feminine hero—the woman I secretly always wanted to be more like. She was confident in her looks and carried herself in a way that let everyone know she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. “I bet she’s here, though. I just wish…” My words trail off as I see him. Through a throng of gowns and smiles.
Ben.
He’s buttoning the top button of his light blue dress shirt, while his eyes scan the crowd for what seems like forever, but I know it can only be seconds. His gaze, narrowed in a harried rush, but so familiar and calming, lands on mine.
I cry. Because that’s what I do when I’m angry and relieved at the same time. Ben’s mouth quirks up to one side and the crowd parts for him. He walks toward me, I stand, his pace quickens, I take one step forward, and he stops in front of me. I’m aware people are staring at us, mostly because he’s so huge and out of place here, but I don’t care. Relief folds over me like a sedative.
I see him sweating, breathing heavy, and wonder what he had to do to make it here.
“You got my text?” he asks, breathing out.
Wiping under my eyes, I grin. “I got it.”
He takes me in his arms, pulling me against his body, and finally. Finally, I celebrate.
Save the Only Dance
Harper
I’m all alone. Standing against the glass wall like one of those geeky girls in the teen movies. The girl I told myself I wouldn’t be tonight. On the night of my senior prom. All of the disastrous dominos fell in rapid succession. My date, a first chair violinist in our high school’s competition orchestra got the flu. When he called me to tell me this morning, he barely got the words out before vomiting in exaggerated stereo. He felt awful, both figuratively and literally, so I’m not that mad at him.
My dad dropped me off in front of the aquarium. For some unknown reason, I wanted to come here regardless of being the solitary hermit. He opened the car door for me, kissed me on the cheek, and told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I didn’t miss the sadness in his eyes. His only child. His baby girl. Forever the loner. Not the most beautiful girl in the world by a long shot.
My mom brought me to the custom dress shop all the popular girls go for their pageant dresses. I chose a two-piece, emerald number. The skirt is long and flared out like a mermaid tail and the top is cropped, showing a sliver of stomach with long, tight, lace sleeves. It was too beautiful to let anything stop me from wearing it. Puking dates aside.
The student president of our senior class was seated at a table when I walked in. She was taking tickets, looking just as stunning as she always does. I’m self-conscious as a general rule, but being here by myself dressed like someone I don’t feel like turns my nerves on their head. She takes my ticket while eyeing me up and down. I smile and tell her to have a nice night even though at the moment I wish I were the one home with the flu.
Heads turn when I walk into the large room glowing with the blue light from the floor-to-ceiling aquariums surrounding us on all sides. Of course Harper Rosehall entering her senior prom by herself is something worth watching. My face heats under their stares and I do my best to keep my head high as I head toward the edge of the room and pretend to be overly interested in the sharks swimming by.
A few guys wave, and a girl from my Calculus class grins in a polite hello. Reaching into my skirt pocket, I pull out my cell phone. The DJ plays a song with a fast beat, so I text, instead of call, Benny in a rush I’m sure I’ll regret as soon as I hit send.This is awful. Will you come, please?
Ben refuses to do anything school related. Prom is equivalent to the second ring of hell for him. He didn’t understand why I wanted to go in the first place. I think he was even a little upset when I told him Jeff Golden asked me out. He seemed surprised. I yelled at him for being so rude and he apologized and told me I was reading it all wrong. He never explained further, though. I’m waiting for him to reply withI told you so, but no text message comes.
Ben does.
Walking through the same entrance I came through only minutes before. His hair is gelled in a way that makes him look suave, and he’s standing tall and proud—a feast for any girl’s eyes, but he’s not looking at any of them. He’s here for me. I watch as he takes his cell phone out of the pocket of his tuxedo pants and smirks as he reads my message.
He looks up from the phone and tilts his head to peer around the room. Everyone is staring at him. My guess is no one recognizes him. Ben fumbles with the button on the top of his shirt underneath the green bowtie, the bowtie that matches my dress perfectly. I step away from the aquarium, using the cool glass to push off of.
I walk slowly, taking in only him—trying not to let anything else filter into my awareness. The crowd of sparkling teenagers parts and I’m standing in the center of this stunning room. I’ve never been the center of anything, but right now I feel as if this is my moment. My hands in fists by my sides, I flex them open and smooth out the sides of my skirt. Ben kissed me and it changed everything. I kissed him and I fell so hard I can’t dig myself out of this rut of confusion and desire.
Standing before me is both the boy I’ve liked all my life and the man I love more than I can comprehend. Ben’s gaze scans as he still messes with his tie and when his eyes fix on mine, his mouth drops open and his eyes widen as he sees what I’m wearing. I smile as tears fill my eyes. I won’t let them ruin my makeup, though. Not tonight, after my aunt spent an insane amount of time contouring me like a Kardashian sister.
When he doesn’t make a move, I approach him and stop when we’re inches apart. “People are staring.” I lick my lips and flick my gaze to each side.
“Because you look like a goddamn angel.”
I blush. “Thanks. You got my text?” I smirk.
He nods. “Your mom called my mom this morning when Jeff left you high and dry.” Ben reaches out and gently lays his hand on my shoulder. “Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.”
