Lia
The trouble with anger is that when it goes away, there’s often a worse feeling underneath.Anger hides the true emotion.Often it’s fear, like when I bluster and bluff my way through things.
Right now it’s heartache.
Because breaking up with Blaze is the worst thing I’ve done.
That’s not true.Burning down the house was the worst thing.But splitting with Blaze comes in as a close second.
My heart is a sunken stone, far below my solar plexus, but not quite to my bowels.It’s sloshing around in my stomach, making it impossible for me to eat.Or walk.Or move really.
Which is why I spent the past three days in bed.
The guys from CrossFit texted to find out why I no-showed—because I never no-show unless I’m on shift.
The worst of it?Today’s my birthday.
Worst birthday of my life.
I have to drag myself out of this bed and get to my parents’ house, but eating my mom’s home-cooked food and listening to the banter of my overbearing family is the last thing I want to do.
I should tell them I got called in to cover a shift.
No, my mom would just insist on rescheduling for tomorrow.
My phone rings.I check the screen.It’s my cousin, Talia.She’s probably the only person in the world I would answer the phone for right now.I swipe my screen.“Hey, girl.”
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you?—”
“Yeah, thanks.”I cut in before she can finish singing the whole damn song.
She must catch the heaviness in my tone, because she immediately drops the chipper thing.“What’s wrong?”
“Ugh,” is all I can say.
“Is that a guy-relatedughor a job-relatedugh?”
“Kinda both.”
“So a captain-relatedugh.”
“You nailed it.”
“What happened?”
“Well, the douche took me off the schedule and signed me up for a two-month training to become a fire inspector—without asking.”
“Okaaaay.”My cousin draws out the last syllable, like she’s not sure what my problem is.Well, of course she doesn’t.Because she’s missing some key information.Information I wasn’t planning on sharing.Except I really need a friend right now.
“Here’s the thing.He signed me up because he thinks I have a problem.With fire.He’s been trying to fix me this whole time.I don’t even know if we were really dating.I mean we were having crazy kinky sex but?—”
“But what?”she prompts when I stop.
“But it was like...punishment sex.Kinky shit.He offered to help me, um…” I break off, unsure how to go on.“Talia, I have to tell you something.”My voice breaks.“Something awful.Something I did that’s really unforgivable.”
“Okay, honey.Just tell me.Say it fast and get it over with.”
“I set the fire that burned my family’s house down.”
