Residents come out of their apartments and lean out of windows to gawk at the fire, and someone shouts something rude, mimicking me.
Lia nods and heads back toward the fire, so I retrace my steps down the alleyway, which is faster.Too much precious time has been wasted now.
Thank God the crew already has the hoses going and the flames out.
When we get back to the truck, Lia gets on the radio and tells dispatch to send the police.
I’m pissed as hell.I crowd her against the fire truck and pound my fist against it.“What in thefuckdid you think you were doing?”I don’t give her a chance to answer.I’m just warming up here—they do call me Blaze for a reason, and she’s about to get the full brunt of her captain’s temper.“You are not here to chase criminals—you are here to put out fires.When you abandon your crew, there are consequences to everyone.Someone could’ve been killed today because you decided to make up your own rules.”I bang the fire truck again.I sense the rest of the crew behind me, but nothing’s going to stop my tirade now.
“The fire was under con?—”
“It’s not up to you to make that call!I’m the fucking captain.I give the orders around here.If you don’t like that, find another job.I need crew members I can trust to do what they’re trained to do.”Another fist to the truck.“Now are you willing to be a part of this team or aren’t you?”
Too late, I realize Lia’s eyes shine with tears.My tongue-lashing went way too far.I haven’t had a female on the team before—didn’t think to dial it back.I also didn’t check my personal feelings for her.My anger boiled up over my fear for her safety, nothing else.
“Take a step back, Captain,” Scott says in a low, calming voice and I realize, with horror, how threatening I must seem to Lia.I’m twice her size and while I’m not touching her, I have her backed against the truck.She doesn’t look scared, though.Just angry and humiliated.
Fuck.
“I am,” Lia mutters, lips trembling.
Now I’m pissed at myself for being the king asshole.I punch the truck again and walk away without another word.
The cops show up and I head over to brief them, even though it’s really Lia’s show.
“Don’t worry about him,” I hear James tell Lia.I guess ifhe’sthe first to console her, I really went too far.“He blows his stack sometimes, but everything’s fine once he cools off.”
I give my report as succinctly as possible, then call, “Burke!”to summon Lia.
She doesn’t look at me when she walks over and I leave to give her space.
When she’s done, I order, “Everybody in.”
I don’t ride shotgun because I imagine I’m the last guy Lia wants to be sitting next to right now.I’ll have to figure out how to fix this, and fast.
Lia
I avoidBlaze the rest of the day.It isn’t hard—he gives me wide berth.It’s not that I’m mad at him—maybe I am, a little.I’m just scraped raw emotionally, and I can’t look at the guy who put me there.I leave as soon as my shift is over and head home, my stomach still in knots over what went down.
He was right, of course.Running after the kid was rash and definitely not what I was supposed to be doing.Still, given a re-do, I’d probably do it all over again.I can’t shake the feeling that the kid needs help.Maybe I’m just projecting my own self onto him, but I remember what it was like to start fires—to crave the destruction they cause.
I don’t know why it’s such a release, but it is.
And I’m fairly certain all three of these arson fires were set by that one kid.He needs help.Because if someone gets hurt, he’s going to have to live with that for the rest of his life.
I change into a t-shirt and leggings and make myself a snack.When I’m done, I sit at my little two-person table with a book of matches in my hand.It’s a new book—every match intact, lined up in two perfect rows.Just the sight of them releases endorphins.I fold one down, debating whether I’m actually going to tear it off.Whether I’ll disobey Blaze and light it.
A knock sounds at my door.Probably my neighbor—it has to be a fellow resident, since no one buzzed to get in the main door.I open the door and then immediately swing it shut.
Blaze.
He thrusts his boot in the door to stop it from closing.“Hang on—just wait.I came to apologize.”
I can’t quite meet his gaze, although I feel its intensity.Instead, I stare at the hollow of his throat, at the stray chest hairs creeping above his collar.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you in front of everyone.I was an asshole.I didn’t mean to humiliate you.”
I don’t move.I still don’t meet his gaze, nor do I let him open the door any further.
