“Damn, Payne. At least clean up after yourself,” Nix suggests with a gag, wrinkling his nose at the sight of Doris spread eagle on my bed.
I should feel something. I’ve known the whore for a very long time, she’s warmed my bed a lot over the years, but I couldn’t care less to be honest. She wasn’t always a Demon Joker, jumping from club to club until she landed here just like all the whores before her. There was one she stayed with for a long while...what was that club’s name? Devils? Some Charter based out in Los Angeles… Rig did some business with their president years ago. Come to think of it, he’s the one that brought Doris back home with him. A shame really she’s dead, she knew what I liked in bed, but I have just the person in mind to warm it whether she wants to or not.
“Cruz has a way of getting a message across, does he not?” I nod to the twisted way Cruz stripped pieces of her skin until she only resembled a juicy slab of meat. I mean fuck, the kid even took out her eyeballs.
“He’s stepping out of line, boss. Should we just kill him before he gets any ideas?” Nix picks at his nails with his knife in a nervous gesture and looks at me with a raised eyebrow in question before quickly shifting his gaze away.
“Not yet. If anyone can find her, it’s him. He wants her badly enough and he’s the only person I know who won’t sleep until she’s his completely. I want you to keep an eye on him and let me know what’s going on.” I hold eye contact with him until he swallows hard and glances away.
“Yeah, I’ll contact you if anything comes up.” Nix spins around to leave but before he’s halfway down the hallway, he glances over his shoulder at me. “A dangerous game you’re playing, Payne. You should have left Cruz on the streets because even I know he won’t hesitate to kill you if you try to stop him from getting Tillie.” With that, he enters back into the bar and disappears into the sound of drunken laughter echoing through the music, along with pussies being fucked roughly.
My rage explodes once I’m completely alone.
My boot connects with the door over and over until it’s hanging off its hinges and blood is dripping from my nose again, mixing with the cocaine from earlier. Looking at Doris with disgust, I head back into the main compound to fuck some pussy, willing or not, snort another hit of pure white powder, and all while wondering who I can trust within my walls. No one can know my secret. I’ll kill anyone who tries to take over my club, to expose my lies. Anyone.
I need to go back to the beginning because the only person who would know where Diana is hiding is Rig. Impossible to ask him since he’s gone, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t leave any hints behind as to where that cunt is. I could let Cruz find her first, but something tells me he’s gunning for my spot, my legacy. And once he has her, there’s no stopping him from doing whatever he wants.
My club won’t think I’m fit to be president anymore if I can’t handle my own daughter. Cruz will prove that to them. My time is running thin and that makes me a desperate man.
I’ll do anything to stay in power. Anything.
Tillie
Idon’t know how long I lay on the cold garage floor, staring at the small dent in the red toolbox and willing myself to cry, but nothing ever happens. I’ve shed so many tears throughout the years that now, even when I try my hardest to cry, nothing ever spills.
“I-I can’t go through that door,” I croak out, leaning heavily against Doris as she stumbles under my weight and grips the doorknob tightly to keep us both from falling, before she turns her head to look at me.
“You're not free yet, girl, but for now…you walk through that door with your head held high, no matter how much you want to look down. Don’t. I don’t care if you have to crawl your way out of here, but don’t give them this power. They took enough away from you already,” Doris grounds out through her teeth, wiping a trail of blood away from my hairline. She grasps my hand that is thrown over her shoulder into a death grip.
My breathing is shallow, my ribs protesting with each breath, and the pain between my sticky thighs, that makes my legs buckle, is a reminder of what just happened.
“I don’t know if I can survive out there. What if I fall and can never get back up? Even those who look like they are sleeping peacefully are trapped in a nightmare. Will I ever really escape my living nightmares, even if I’m far away from this place?”
Doris glances at me for what feels like a long time, until she slowly shakes her head.
“You may be in a nightmare now but that’s the thing about living a dream, you can make it anything you want. It will take some time, a lot of obstacles along the way that will be painful, but one day you won't hurt as much as you do now. It will always stay with you, but it won’t feel like you can’t breathe.” She swings open the door without waiting for me to respond and grabs my chin with her free hand, so I don't glance down as we shuffle through the sea of club members.
The memory repeats in my head, rewinding again and again as I lay there shivering. I’m breathing now, aren’t I? My chest rises up and down slowly as my pulse stops racing the more I reflect on my thoughts. Doris was right, I lived a life of hell, but I escaped to where the Demon Jokers can't reach me. I have a feeling Logan, Nicky, Dalton, and Tey are more than what they appear to be. Toxic power that makes anyone kneel at their feet with just a snap of their fingers while radiating fear and danger.
It’s something I know better than most, I’ve been around it most of my life. The only difference is the four assholes have some standards, not to kill without a reason. I’ve only been here a short while, but I watch and listen even when it seems like I’m not. I don’t think those four could ever stab each other in the back. They live by a code, even if they are major assholes who think they can force anyone to do their bidding. Being around Logan and having him pounding away inside of me like he’s going to die tomorrow, I already know that man has control issues, needs it to survive. He’d stop at nothing to protect those he cares about. That’s something I’ve never seen before. Payne would have plunged a knife through your back as you walked away. I know what Logan did tonight and why. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to stay here all night and think about my mouth stuffed with cocks without my consent, even if I liked the way they stared down at me, controlling my movements. I swear I saw affection in Tey’s eyes as he said the crazy shit that comes out of his mouth. I’ve had much worse in my life, tonight was just the cherry on top, and it’s time that I showed them that I’m not as weak as I look.
With that in mind, I heave myself into a sitting position, off the epoxy floor and wince as I finally stand on my feet. Glancing down my body, my knees are red from being forced to the ground, and my feet are bleeding. When did that happen? My brow wrinkles, trying to remember when that could have taken place. My mind goes through the whole night. The guys kidnapping me, shoving me mostly naked into the car blindfolded, and leaving me stranded in the middle of the car lot as the cops came blaring down the road. It was the glass window I had to break, the adrenaline made me feel nothing at the time. The anger I was holding onto fueled me to keep going, but now that I’m alone...it fucking hurts like a bitch. Tiny pieces of glass are stuck in my feet, digging in deeper as I start limping into the house.
Ugh, just that they keep occupying my mind, over and over again, is pissing me off. Who the fuck tattoos their cock? That had to hurt and just makes Nicky as crazy as the rest of them. That asshole, the look he gave me when he lifted his gun and I thought he was going to kill me then and there. His facial expression was completely blank, but his eyes…those emerald eyes told a different story. A thousand words can be held in one glance and even if I thought he was going to pull the trigger on me, I should have known there's more than meets the eye with Nicky. Doesn’t mean I trust him. Hell, he shoved his tattooed cock down my throat. Doesn’t matter if I got extremely wet between my legs, or that I wanted to keep sucking him, it was the way he thought he had the right to do it, as if he knew that I liked it.
Well, fuck them!
I hold my head high as I walk on quiet, sore feet through the house towards the second floor, leaving a trail of bloody footprints behind. I look both ways in case one of those asses are hiding in the dark somewhere. Why does that make my heart race? Why do I feel an excited thrill creeping down my spine? Why am I like this? You’d figure I’d put a ten foot pole between me and men, but for some reason I crave to be touched by my guys, needing the passion only they seem to be able to give me. I just want to feel, to be held, and maybe one day, cherished. A girl can dream. I really need to stop thinking of them as mine, I don’t want them! Nope. I have to keep telling myself that until it sticks.
But I have to remember this is just a game to them. I’m a nobody who shouldn’t be in their house, an intruder who can’t be trusted in their eyes. My bedroom door is open when I get to it, it’s quiet and dark, two things I hate the most. I peek my head around the corner hesitantly, seeing it empty as I tippy-toe quickly towards the bathroom with a grimace as pain pulses through my feet.
I wonder where they went? Is it just Logan in the house or did he leave with the others? I’m not looking for any of them but I do like to be prepared; I wasn’t tonight. I’m still on edge wondering if the cops will be showing up at the door any moment to drag me away. My eyes burn with the need for revenge, to put them in their place. If I’m stuck here until I can figure out how to get rid of the blackmail Nicky has on me, I might as well try to drive them crazy and make them wish they never met me.
Sweet revenge will be mine
A little too loud chuckle leaves my mouth, but cuts off as I turn on the bathroom light to take in my reflection. My hair is a mess, sticking up in every angle as if I just rolled out of bed after a rough night of passionate fuckery. I can’t help snorting at that. My eyes have dark circles under them, and it's no wonder given the sun starting to peek through my white bedroom curtains. I glare at my underwear, swearing from this moment on I’ll be wearing granny panties, and a sports bra to suck in the girls. I hate how I look, my figure and face. I’ve tried over the years to hide my body in baggy clothes, but Payne demanded that I show more skin to keep his club members happy. Taking in my body, I can’t help the twisted snarl that edges on my lips. I really do take after Diana, the curvy hips and smooth tan skin that draws in the eye, no blemishes in sight. It’s what caused me all this pain to begin with. I sometimes think about taking tweezers to my face and just plucking away to leave me with scars until I’m unrecognizable. People won’t want to look me in the eye if my scars are hideous, it makes them uncomfortable. The tattoos cover most of my scars, no one hardly notices unless they are looking close enough. Does anyone ever really look long enough to see the real me? No. They don’t.
Pinching my eyes closed, I take a deep breath and slowly let it out just before I open the drawers to search for tweezers for a completely different reason. Finding some, I hop onto the counter exhausted. Grinding my teeth together, I bring my leg up to cross it over my other one to see the condition my feet are in. Shards of glass poke out of my skin, making me cringe at the thought of wearing shoes, but ignoring the pain gets easy over time.
