25
Kat
He didn’t call me and ignored all my texts through the night. I know this because the moment I hit send, it read that he saw the message. Why do I get the feeling that we’re moving backwards? Mary convinced me to go to the game, saying men like to throw little fits, so I should talk to him instead of worrying when it could be nothing. So, here I am, cheering him on as he glides across the ice with his jersey on my body and chatting with his mother as she leans into my side. The way he looked at me when the second half was done, it was a look of betrayal and closed off. I can’t think of any possible reason why he’d shut me out.
“Look at him, it’s the most energetic determination I've ever seen in him. Why does that one player on his team keep shoulder checking him? Oh my, one minute until the game ends!? How is he going—oh my, he’s skating so fast! He just slammed into that player like bulldozing through a brick wall! Go, Granger, go!” His mother is a ball of anxiety, sheer excitement on her face as she shouts and pumps her fist in the air alongside her husband.
The buzzer sounds, and the Terriers win another game with seconds to spare as Granger slap shot the puck into the net with Beast demolishing the opposite team like it’s a piece of cake. Granger’s dad has his arm over his wife's shoulder with a beaming smile as he keeps yelling, “That’s my son!”
Mary yells in my ear that she’s going back to her dorm to change into an outfit just for Beast and will see me later…much much later. Granger’s parents and I wait for the crowd to thin down, then we start moving along the steps so we can get to the tunnels before the team leaves the locker room. Mr. Wilder places a hand on my arm to stop me from walking into the crowded tunnel filled with cheering fans.
“We aren’t bad people, Kat, we just didn’t know, even when it was right in front of us. I hope this hasn’t made you look at us like we’re terrible parents. I always wanted what’s best for my son, and after seeing the passion he brought out there tonight…I can admit I was wrong. We’re happy he has someone like you in his life that will speak up for him and doesn’t stop trying until we hear you,” Mr. Wilder says, tears filling his eyes and clearing his throat while pulling his wife under his arm.
I don’t know what to say… Granger deserves parents who will support his decisions and dreams, so the natural thing to do was make them see that, even if it meant sharing a piece of myself I’d rather people not know. It wasn’t easy telling them my story, how meaningless my life has been, but I got my point across because they showed up tonight. It might have taken a while, but they’re here now.
“In my opinion, I think it meant the world to Granger to have you guys here, and that’s all that matters in the end.” I bite my lip, feeling like I’m losing something all over again and it’s all going to come into a burning crash any minute.
“Thank you, my dear. He has our support, even if it saddens us he won’t be coming into the family business as a lawyer, but we see where his heart lies. We wanted to give you something in return after you told us about your home life and for opening our eyes.” She looks up at her husband and after his nod, she pulls out a folder from her purse.
“We did a little digging, and to say it was hard to come by is an understatement. We knew your mother and father in passing, because they used our lawyers at the firm, but I—we—want you to know that your ‘little inheritance’ isn’t as small as you may think. Your mother’s family came from very old money, and she really did love you, dear,” Mrs. Wilder says, concern written on her face as I take the envelope with shaking hands.
“Don’t read it here, wait until you're in a quiet place to process all this. When you're ready, we’re here to do whatever it takes to help you,” she says, blinking away tears and wiping at them with the monogrammed handkerchief her husband pulls out of his breast pocket.
“We’ll be right here waiting for you two to join us after he comes out. Men like to see their girl first before the parents,” Mr. Wilder says with a wink, and leans back against the cement walls to wait with his wife.
With a shaky breath, I head down the tunnel with a million and one thoughts on my mind. I really just want to see Granger. He has a way of calming the storm that races inside of me, and I’m hoping we’re going to be okay. Reaching the back of the crowd blocking the way to the locker room doors, I stand on my tippy toes to see over their heads for Granger, but instead, my gaze captures angry brown eyes heading my way.
Great, just great. Another person I’d rather not run into, but it seems she’s on the warpath and I’m the destination. Victoria reaches me in seconds and comes to a halt in front of me with her hands on her hips, blocking my way.
“You don’t belong here, whore. Just go back the way you came, and I’ll take care of Granger. He needs a real woman in the sheets, someone he has a special bond with,” she gloats, flicking her red hair over her shoulder, and steps closer to whisper in my ear, “Did he tell you yet?”
I’m almost scared to ask. The whole time I’ve known Granger, I’ve felt like he was holding himself back, keeping something to himself that left deep scars on him. I’m beginning to think it wasn’t just her cheating on him.
“I don’t care what you have to say. If Granger wants to tell me something, he’ll do it himself,” I tell her and try to look around her, but she blocks my way again with her body.
“Oh! He hasn’t told you. You see, Granger and I have this special bond that no one can ever compete with. After all, I was going to have his baby, but it just wasn’t the right time since he’s being scouted for the pros.” She implies everything that’s on my mind by rubbing a hand over her flat stomach with a dreamy look on her face. “You didn’t think he would actually want you, did you? Granger needed his space, so I gave it to him. Jeff was just a way to pass the time.” She laughs in my face and smirks over her shoulder at whoever is behind her, but I’m barely paying attention as my eyes never leave the hand placed over her stomach.
Tears fill my eyes, running down my cheeks as everything comes crashing down. He told me he never loved her, and yet I know she’s telling the truth. It would explain why he doesn’t want the distraction from hockey and why he wanted to use me as a shield to keep other women away, just so he can go back to her. He told me that he’s only ever used protection during sex, but that had to be a lie too. Something to make me feel like I’m the special one and no one else mattered but me. Everything was a lie.
“So nice talking to you, Kathleen! But I have to go break the news to Jeff that we aren’t a thing anymore, officially this time, since Granger is going to be needing me,” she says gleefully, and then slides away into the crowd. I hardly see her leave, because the one man I’ve ever loved, who broke my heart, is standing five feet in front of me.
He flicks his gaze over to Victoria as she walks away, then glances back to me. The look on his face says it all. Maybe he’s been trying to tell me this whole time that he doesn’t want to see me anymore, but I’m just the pathetic girl that clung to him and he felt bad for poor me. My God, I was a charity case. As each tear falls from my cheek, he just stands there staring at me without saying anything. My heart bleeds open, and I don’t think it’ll ever recover again. He tries coming closer, but I hold up a hand and ignore the people around us starting to stare. I’m about to break in front of him, but I won’t give him that. I’m done with people breaking me inside and out over and over again.
“Kat…I can explain. Just let me explain, pleas—” He starts to talk, finally, but I cut him off because I can’t be here and deal right now.
“Just stay away from me, Granger. I’m done,” I tell him in a harsh, broken tone as I turn around, but he grabs my wrist with a desperate, wild look in those green eyes I’ve come to love.
“Kat, it’s not what it seems. Just let me explain! If you trust me, even a little bit, you’ll stay and let me explain,” he begs, and there’s a plea in his deep voice. His eyebrows draw together as he tries to make me stay, but I yank away from him. I’m taking one step at a time before I stop and turn back to him to look him in the eye one last time.
“I can’t trust you, Granger. Everything was a lie.” My voice cracks, and I watch as his face closes off, his eyes turning cold as he shakes his head.
“A lie. I’ve never lied to you, but you have to me. You said you were at Mary’s last night, Kat, but I saw you. I watched as you got into some guy’s car.” He swallows hard, and I could swear his eyes start to water, but he just blinks, shaking his head again with a hurt look until it’s gone.
Right from the beginning, he’s really never trusted me it seems, and he just comes to conclusions without asking me or trusting in me. Maybe this was a mistake from the very start, but I still love him, even as I feel like every breath is killing me just being near him.
“I’m done, Granger. Jus-just leave me alo-alone.” I suck in a watery breath and dodge around people as I take off running down the tunnel towards the exit with blurry eyes.
I ignore his parents calling my name and him shouting mine, my only purpose is getting away. Once I’m alone, I can cry and get it all out, if it ever stops hurting. I’ll still have to see him around campus, class, and every place we’ve been together… What if I’m not strong enough?
I don’t stop running until I’m at Mary’s dorm. She opens the door with understanding and open arms without a word as tears trail down my cheeks. I don’t stop crying, even when my eyes are dry and my body feels numb. Heartbreak really does kill you inside and out.
