8
Kat
Ican’t stop shaking, my whole body one quivering mess just because of the violence I witnessed at the stupid jock party. I ran away as the memories started to take a hold of me. By the time I make it around the side of the frat house, I’m panting and trying to stay level headed. I can’t believe I let that get to me, but the moment I saw Mary jump on Granger’s ex’s back with a flying fist…it just brought out memories of my own pain that I have to suffer through.
I pick up my pace when the sidewalk finally meets my feet and ignore the people littering the front porch with red plastic cups and the laughter ringing in the night. I wish I could be that carefree, but I don’t think I’ll ever be like that, except for those moments on the ice. Shivering, I rub my arms to ward off the cold and curse myself for not bringing a coat. With trembling fingers, I pull my phone out to order an Uber and pray they can get here fast, because it’s at least five blocks before I can reach my father’s townhome.
“Kat! Wait, slow the hell down.” Granger’s deep voice sounds behind me with his quick footsteps crunching in the snow.
I turn around to watch him walk towards me and admire his beauty in the dark without being too obvious, the harsh structure of his rugged face highlighted by the streetlights. I can’t believe I kissed him…what was I thinking? I saw Jeff coming our way with a determined look through the windows and took matters into my own hands without thinking. Granger’s lips were soft like velvet, gliding across mine with a kiss that stole my breath, and I haven’t taken a full breath since then. I’m blaming him for the way my body is still humming and for feeling like I’m waking from a dream after being stuck in a nightmare for so long. I don’t even like the jerk… Okay, so he’s not the biggest jerk. Well, at least not to me, but he does act like an asshole jock sometimes. So why does he cause butterflies in my stomach and get my pulse racing whenever he’s near? I wait until he reaches my side and continue walking without saying anything.
“You know, for a small fry, you sure can walk pretty fast. Didn’t expect you to make it this far,” he muses, shoving his fingers in his jean pockets while staring at the ground with a small smile and easily keeping pace with me.
“I’m not that short, and It’s not my fault you’re a giant! How’s the weather up there?” I tease him, and instantly, my shoulders relax at the easy banter that seems to come naturally between us.
He stifles a chuckle by rubbing his finger across his bottom lip, and my gaze is drawn to his mouth again. He really knows how to work those lips of his. Why must the Lord test me like this? Doesn’t he know that if you bring temptation into my life, I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame? My life doesn’t have a lot of pretty things in it, but when one comes along, I grab hold of it and don’t let go. My mood sobers at my thoughts, and I wrap my arms tighter around myself.
“You okay?” he demands gruffly, placing his hand on my forearm to stop us from walking.
I grimace as he touches the fresh bruises from my earlier encounter with my father and quickly try to mask my face expression, but I know he saw when his eyes narrowed on the spot. He never seems to miss anything with those sharp seafoam green eyes. He slides his fingers to my wrist and pushes up my sleeve before I can stop him. Five, deep purple, finger shaped bruises wrap around my arm, and I try to swat his fingers away with my other hand, but he grabs my wrist and places my hand on his chest to distract me. His heart is beating rapidly, but by the blank expression he’s directing at my arm, I can’t tell what he’s thinking. He traces each mark against my pale skin with gentle fingers, and I realize I’m holding my breath around him again.
“I’m fine,” I whisper softly, and feel like once again, it’s just the two of us in the quiet night, removed from the flashing lights of cars driving by and the sounds of the city.
He carefully pushes my sleeve back down and clasps my fingers with his, then gives them a small squeeze. He finally looks at me, and I see a hundred emotions cross his face—anger, sadness, admiration, and last, determination.
“As my girlfriend—” he starts to say, but I interrupt him before he can speak more.
“Fake girlfriend. I’m not sure why you did it, but I have to ask—why me? You could have any girl you want,” I tell him truthfully, and really hope that doesn’t stroke his ego even more than it already is.
He glances up at the sky, muttering under his breath about stubborn women, and I get to stare at him shamelessly. I stare at that strong jawline of his, down to his throat, and I have the sudden desire to lick my way up until I make it to his lips. With those thoughts, I start to wonder who the hell I am and feel the need to put a little space between us. My hands fall to my sides, and I take a small step back, blowing into my hands, even though they’re warm and tingling from his body heat. He glances down and releases a pent up breath as if preparing himself.
“Victoria is my ex, who cheated on me with Jeff and lied about a lot of other stuff. She keeps trying to get me back, and I’m sick of the college girls hanging off of me to get into my pants. I really just want to be left alone, but I saw the opening when you used me. You pretend to be my girlfriend, and I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend,” he declares, shrugging his shoulders as if it’s as simple as that.
I’m flabbergasted and wondering why Victoria would cheat on Granger with Jeff, then bile fills my mouth as I remember the possessive way I saw her stare at Granger earlier. It’s not healthy at all. She definitely wants him back, and I wonder what other lies she could’ve told to make him this closed off to other people.
“I really don’t see what I could be getting out of this? I can usually handle Jeff, but tonight I really just didn’t want to deal with him. That’s why I told everyone you’re my boyfriend.” I blush when he arches an eyebrow at me and bites his lip, then he looks down and his shoulders start shaking.
The ass is laughing at me, so I roll my eyes and start walking again with angry jerky movements. For the life of me, I don’t know why I’m mad, he just has an effect on me. He starts following me, his arm brushing mine with each step, but he doesn’t say anything for a few blocks. I can tell something is heavy on his mind. He’s looking down with his eyebrows pinched together and his strong jaw flexing. My teeth start chattering at some point, and even though I want to be warm, I don’t want to go to my father’s. I wish I could stay at Mary’s… Shit. I’m a horrible friend.
“I have to go back! I can’t believe I forgot about Mary! I’m supposed to make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble. Dear God. I’m a horrible friend,” I cry out in dismay and start to turn around, but he places a hand on my back to keep me going forward.
I’m about to lay one into him for being bossy as hell without any words, but it dies on my tongue when he shrugs off his leather jacket and drapes it over my shoulders. It’s warm from his body heat and smells just like him. Would he think I’m a total creep if I started sniffing his jacket? Probably.
“Beast has her, don’t worry. He’ll take care of her, he’s a good guy. He’s probably already holding her hair back as she pukes her guts up. He’s that kind of guy,” he mumbles as he pulls out his phone and shoots off a text.
I feel like I need to go back and get her. Even though he said this Beast guy is one of the good guys, it’s hard for me to trust his word on this. Chewing my lip, I debate with myself until I hear him snort and turn his phone to me. A giggle escapes me as I look at the picture on his phone. Mary is curled in a ball on someone’s bed—Beast’s I’m guessing—with her mouth open and drooling in her sleep. Half of Beast’s face is showing with him looking up at the ceiling exasperated, but I notice the death grip she has on his hand, as if in her sleep she refuses to let go. Man, she’s going to be pissed in the morning, since she isn’t a spend the night kind of girl. I feel instantly better, knowing she’s in good hands, and flash Granger a smile for easing some of my worry. Can’t I just keep walking around the city all night, just so I don’t have to go back home?
“What’s it going to take for you to agree to be my fake girlfriend? Name it, and I’ll make it happen.” He’s quiet for a few seconds. “I can protect you, you know. You don’t have to fear anything with me,” he whispers, looking down at my arm as if he wants to ask but knows I won’t tell him.
I tell no one about my life, because it’s my battle and I have to go it alone. It’s all I know…it’s how I survive. It’s not his burden to bear, it’s mine alone. It makes me angry at myself—the life I live and how stuck I am. I lash out without thinking, turning towards him with my finger poking his rock hard chest.
“I want a lot of things. I want to go wherever the hell I want, to come and go as I please. To skate my heart out, to have a job…to live my fucking life!” I’m shouting by the end, my chest heaving and tears gathering in my eyes.
He doesn’t say anything the whole time, just calmly staring at me as I rant and shout about how unfair life is. His hand raises slowly, and I watch from the corner of my eye as he slides those strong fingers around my neck and gives a little squeeze. Then he bends down to lay his forehead against mine with his eyes staring intently at me. What is happening, oh God, what is happening? My pulse slows down, a calm washing over me as I breath in his minty breath. I know this isn’t normal, but who needs normal? My whole existence is a far cry from normal, so I’m just going to go along for the ride, take this chance to experience these feelings I’ve never felt before, and hope I don’t get burnt in the end.
“I have the answer for all of that,” he says, and I hang on to his every word, feeling it sink into my bones. “Move in with me.”
My head snaps back away from his, and I look up at the sky with laughter bursting from my mouth while snow clings to my lashes. Tears are really streaming down my face, and I can’t tell if it’s from laughing at him or because I just really need to cry.
