What bothered me about what happened tonight was that Gemma hadn’t trusted me to handle the situation when I’d told her point-blank that I would.
On some level, I understood it. She’d been on her own for a long time and wasn’t used to being taken care of. That, and the clues she’d dropped during our few short months together hinted at being mistreated by men, hence the trust issues.
I’d been witness to her lashing out at men in a position of power before. I’d found it amusing. Hell, it had been a fucking turn-on.
But not tonight.
For some reason, I had let myself believe we’d broken through that barrier. There had been a shift in our relationship after the night I took care of her when she was in unbearable pain. I stayed over that night after drawing a line at Christmas that I would only do so if we were going to have sex. I even went so far as to double down by taking her over to Evie and Jenner’s the following morning to see if she might spook. When she didn’t, and I worked my way into securing a key to her place, spending all my free time there, it almost felt like she had truly let me in. That this was the real relationship I’d been hoping for from the start.
Apparently, my eyes only saw what they wanted to see.
In reality, Gemma was no closer to letting down her walls and allowing me inside.
That changed tonight.
I meant what I said. I was bound and determined to earn her trust, and if the path in doing so was through sexual acts, then so be it.
Snapping my fingers, I called Cannoli back to the patio and led him inside. After he got a drink of water, I helped get him settled on his dog bed for the night. I could only pray that whatever sounds he heard coming from upstairs wouldn’t wake him because, once we got started, I wasn’t stopping for anything.
I tossed my jacket on the hook near the door and headed upstairs. By the time I entered her bedroom, Gemma was sitting on the edge of the mattress, hair damp and dressed in a sleep shirt, nervously twisting her hands.
Fear-filled hazel eyes peeked up at me as her lower lip trembled, her voice weak as she asked, “Wh-what are you going to do to me?”
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. “Gemma, I’m not going to hurt you. I never will. The idea alone tears me up inside.” Stepping closer, I knelt before her, taking her fidgeting hands between my steady ones. “I’m going to make you feel good, but it’s going to require every ounce of your trust.”
Her lips turned down in a frown. “I don’t understand.”
Bringing our joined hands to my mouth, I dusted a kiss over her knuckles, whispering, “I know, but you will soon.”
Gently, I tugged her to standing. My fingers skimmed the bare skin of her thighs, trailing a path upward until I reached the hem of her shirt.
“Arms up.”
Silently, she obeyed my command. It was a good start, but we had a long way to go.
I dragged the material over her torso and raised arms until it cleared her body completely, and I tossed it aside.
When I found her bare beneath the garment, I let out a pleased hum.
“On the bed.”
Dipping her chin, Gemma peeked at me through those thick black lashes. Her hesitation, though brief, was enough to set me on edge.
My voice grew firm, and I snapped, “Now.”
That was enough to have her scrambling onto the mattress, easing onto her back in the center.
“I know what you’re thinking,” I began, kicking off my shoes and ripping off my shirt. “That giving up trust makes you weak. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.” Unfastening my jeans, I shoved them down my thighs along with my boxers, leaving me standing naked before her. “When you give someoneyour trust in a committed relationship—which is what I believe we share, no matter what you might think—you’re granting them permission to keep you safe, believing with absolute certainty that they will care for you and put your well-being above all others. At least, that’s what it means to me.”
Gemma slammed her eyes shut, a shaky exhale rushing past her lips.
Crawling onto the bed, I trailed kisses up her legs and over her belly before pressing one right over her beating heart.
Against that part of her I coveted above all others, I said, “I know you’re scared. That someone in your past trampled on your heart, and you’re terrified to make the same mistake with me.”
I settled my chin on her sternum, giving me a stunning view of her face as her lashes fluttered open.
Skin to skin, with her eyes on me, I poured all my love into the following words. “I would rather die than cause you a single ounce of pain, physical or emotional, Gemma. I need you to know that. You’re the most important person in the world to me. And you always will be.”
