With nothing left to lose, I said the words aloud. “I’m so happy for them. It’s just . . .”
Maddox nodded in understanding before finishing my sentence. “You wish it were you.”
“Yeah.” Shame coursed through my veins at being selfish on my friend’s big day. “I’m sure you think that makes me a horrible person.”
“Of course not,” he said. “It’s a natural human emotion to be envious, even of those closest to you.”
Suddenly, I was tired—tired of the push and pull between us, the constant switch between hot and cold. I needed to know where we stood so I could move on with my life, one way or the other.
Sighing, I asked, “What are we doing, Maddox? You said you didn’t want to play games, but it feels like we are anyway.”
He tucked a piece of hair that had blown into my face behind my ear. “What do you want to be doing?”
I huffed. “Right there. More games.” I tried to pull away, but he held firm, keeping me in his arms.
Maddox searched my eyes. “You know what I want.”
“Right.” I rolled my eyes. “You want me to snap my fingers and erase all the bad things that came before.”
“No. I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you space, but I know now that was the last thing you needed. I should have offered to carry your burdens instead of expecting you to shoulder them alone. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better man for you. I never meant to hurt you.”
A lump lodged in my throat when he pulled me against his chest, offering comfort. I held him tight, needing an anchor, overwhelmed by his words of apology and understanding.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered against the top of my head.
“Honestly?”
“Always. Please.”
I took a steadying breath, preparing to lay my soul bare to the man holding me close.
“I’m terrified I’ll end up shattered again. I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.”
The silence stretched between us, and I started to mourn a relationship that had never gotten the chance to properly form.
But then he took a half step back and captured my face in his hands.
“Those are valid concerns. And I can’t make any promises. Life is unpredictable. There’s no telling what external forces might threaten to tear us apart down the road. But what I can do is tell you how I feel.”
I blinked up at him, nearly holding my breath, awaiting his next words.
“You’re not the only one who’s scared. I find myself searching for you in any room I enter. It’s easier to breathe when I know you’re near. I’ve never felt such a strong connection with anyone, and it doesn’t make sense how I could share it with you almost instantly. That night at the bar, I was drawn to you. Every cell in my body screamed for me to get closer. That morning after we were together, I fought the urge to leave my number, even when I so desperately wanted to. I wanted to respect your wishes, but the thought of never seeing you again killed me. It was a shock and a relief to see your beautiful face only hours later in that press room.
“The universe put you in my path not once but twice. There must be a reason it keeps throwing us together. How about we stop trying to question it?”
He really felt that way about me? That we were somehow meant to find each other out of the billions of people milling around on this Earth?
Still trying to wrap my head around his conviction, I couldn’t help but tease, “You never struck me as the type to believe in fate.”
“I’m not.” A smile curved on his handsome face. “But I’m not going to ignore the signs that some force greater than us believes we belong together.”
“Maddox?”
“Yeah, love?”
“I think you better kiss me now.”
A relieved sigh split the still of the night. “With pleasure.”
