I knew what she was asking. My contract was up. Everyone wanted to know if I would stay with the Comets or sign with another team. They’d been asking about contract negotiations during almost every post-game press conference since the beginning of the season. I’d dodged it every time, telling them I was focused on what lay directly ahead, but now there was nothing left to do. The season was officially over, and I couldn’t put them off any longer.
At the beginning of the year, nothing would have made me happier than re-signing with the Comets—to finish my career in the same place it started. The thought of team hopping during my final playing years before hanging up my skates had made me physically ill. Tons of guys did it to hang onto the dream, chasing one more year on the ice. Not everyone was lucky to play for one team for the entirety of their career.
Now, the thought of staying here turned my stomach. Seeing Hannah on the ice tonight had done me in. I couldn’t live like this for another few years, if the opportunity presented itself. It would hurt too much to be so close and knowing I’d fucked up so spectacularly. That she was unhappy because of me—because of the false things I said to hurt her and push her away.
I was an old dog now and felt it with the beating my body took every time I skated onto the ice.
Without thinking, I blurted out, “I’ve decided to retire. Tonight’s championship will also mark my last professional game.”
Talk about stealing thunder. The room exploded, a mix of voices talking over each other to ask the next question. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jaxon staring at me, mouth hanging open.
Yeah, I surprised the hell outta myself, too, buddy.
I shrugged at him. I had to get out of Hartford and away from this place that held too many memories of her.
Chapter 31
Hannah
Never let it besaid that a championship hangover wasn’t real. Days of partying on end, then a parade, more partying, and finally, season goodbyes before everyone scattered for the summer. You went from being surrounded by people with constant activities and celebrations to being alone with nothing quite as exciting to occupy your time.
The adrenaline drop after being on the highest of highs was jarring. Most days, I couldn’t make it off the couch, too tired to do much else besides ordering takeout.
Winning meant the off-season was short. The team would get barely three months off before pre-season kicked off, but they’d need to begin training before then. The players’ bodies were shot with the grind it had taken to make it all the way to the Finals. Those with more significant injuries would still be nursing them when it came time to ramp up again. The front office barely had a few weeks to scout new talent coming up in the draft and eligible players for free agency.
All of this while each player and coach were granted their individual day with the trophy. Those boys would be partying all summer long, hopping across this country and others, celebrating with their teammates and their families.
Even with the hustle and bustle, I’d never felt more alone. Lucy had had her baby girl, Hazel, a week ago, and immediately after, everyone departed for their summer destinations. Natalie, Jaxon, and the kids headed to Minnesota and their lake house. Amy and Liam would be spending their summer days in the cool mountain air of the Alps, serving the people of Belleston before Amy went on maternity leave.
All alone, the silence was deafening, and the walls of my tiny apartment were closing in on me.
When the first email came in from my boss with the league schedule, asking me to start looking into pre-season away game accommodations, I didn’t think; I just acted.
Typing furiously on my computer, I let the words flow through my fingers as tears ran down my face. This was the hardest decision I’d ever had to make, but I knew it had to be done.
It was time to carve a new future for myself.
Letting myself into my parents’ home, I found my dad working in his office. Three computer monitors took up all the space on his desk as he tried to cram in as much scouting work as possible before the draft.
Noticing my entry into the room, he sat back in his desk chair and smiled. “Hey, Hanny. What brings you by? I could really use some help scouring these scouting reports. You’ve always had such a great eye for underrated talent.”
Swallowing, not trusting myself not to cry, I placed a manilla envelope on his desk.
Frowning, Dad looked at the envelope and then back to me. “What’s this?”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t back down now. I’d made my decision, and I was sticking by it.
Forcing myself to look at the man who’d taught me to love the game of hockey, I replied, “I’m resigning from my positions with the Comets. Both as the travel coordinator and as anthem singer. Effective immediately.”
A softness entered Dad’s eyes, and he sighed. “Oh, Hanny. You don’t have to do this. He retired. He won’t be there anymore.”
Looking skyward, I blinked back the tears. Despite my efforts, my voice wavered. “I get it now. Why you tried to keep them away from me. You knew that one of them would eventually break my heart and ruin my love for the game. And stubborn me, I had to learn that the hard way. It doesn’t matter if he’s in the building; I can see him everywhere. It hurts too much. I can’t do it anymore.”
Dad began to stand, but I backed away, holding my hands up. “Don’t. You won’t convince me to stay. I’m letting the lease on my apartment go next month, and I’m moving to Nashville. It’s time to stand on my own two feet and find out what makesmehappy.”
“You’re leaving?” he asked in disbelief.
“I can’t stay here. That’s all I know.”
