Lucy was full-on panting now, her hips shifting restlessly, and I bet if I dipped a hand beneath the tiny scrap of silk between her legs, she’d be soaking wet. Emboldened by the buzz in my veins, I let one of my hands drop to the hem of her shorts, teasing the heated skin with my fingertips. Slowly, I began to venture beneath the hem, wondering if she was a good girl, and obeyed my order not to wear panties, when she placed one of her tiny hands atop mine.
“I can’t,” she forced out breathlessly.
There was always some part of my brain that knew Lucy would come to her senses eventually, but that didn’t stop the disappointment and frustration from coursing through me at her words.
Sighing, I dropped my forehead to her shoulder, asking, “Can’t or won’t?” Each answer held a different meaning.
Lucy paused, thinking over how to answer. Finally, with regret in her voice, she replied, “Both?”
Holding true to my firm belief in consent, I took a step backward, creating space between us. I could pinpoint the exact moment Lucy’s brain cleared enough for reality to crash down on her, revealing how intimate we’d been. Her body language gave her away as she tensed, and she threw a hand over her mouth before turning and fleeing the room.
She might have regrets about what we shared and how turned on my words made her, but it was a moment of clarity for me. If it weren’t for my persona at Desire still having a hold on her, she might have been open to working on our relationship, beyond the show we put on for the public. I was the one standing in our way when it came to moving forward.
I couldn’t live with this secret any longer. I needed to come clean to Lucy.
Chapter 19
Lucy
I was living ina constant state of denial.
Denial that Preston discovered the secret of Arabella Reign.
Denial that I allowed him to put his hands on me as he whispered dirty words in my ear, explaining in vivid detail everything he wanted to do to my body.
Denial that those words turned me on beyond belief, and I was a breath away from sleeping with him.
Denial that I was still thinking about it two days later.
Panicked and confused out of my mind, I ran from him that night. I still couldn’t understand how I ended up putty in his hands, or even why he would think about me the way his words described.
We hated each other and always had. Right?
The more cynical part of my brain tried to convince me that it was just another trick, to see how far he could push me and then use it against me later. But there was no denying he was just asturned on as I was—I had shamelessly ground my ass against the proof.
Then, there was the fact that my body still felt like Tony owned it. It’s why I stopped Preston when I had. His fingers were dangerously close to discovering I was bare beneath my pajama shorts, which, combined with the fact that I was teetering on the edge of an orgasm with his words alone, was enough to remind me that there was another man in my life. Even though I wasn’t sure our two encounters constituted much of a relationship, I was suddenly very aware of how inappropriate our liaisons had been given my current circumstances.
I was an engaged woman now, as evidenced by the large emerald-cut solitaire diamond gracing my finger. I couldn’t run to Desire whenever I needed an escape from my everyday life. I knew that. And that was why tonight, after our engagement party, I was headed there to break things off with Tony—if there was anything really there to break off.
At least to me, it felt like there was.
It was the right thing to do, and if anything, I’d gain the closure I needed to move on with my life—a life that apparently would be spent with Preston. If the other night was any indication, maybe it wouldn’t be all bad. There was some chemistry there, even if we couldn’t stand each other most of the time.
We were the guests of honor tonight, and I absolutely loathed knowing we would be the center of attention. It’s why I agreed to this ludicrous proposal in the first place, to get far away from events such as this, where I was trussed up like a show pony and paraded around. I deserved the opportunity to live freely, something so many others took for granted.
From the outside looking in, my life appeared charmed. It was anything but.
Preston was waiting for me in the living room of our apartment—yes, I could finally admit it belonged to us both—with his back to me, looking out the window into the night sky. Wanting nothing more than to get this night over with, I cleared my throat, announcing my presence. Preston turned, the picture of a perfect gentleman in his White Tie evening apparel. Undoubtedly, I’d seen him dressed this way dozens of times over the years, but this was the first time I saw him for what he truly was—a handsome man.
His golden-green eyes raked over my body leisurely, scanning from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Usually, I was confident in my appearance but found myself suddenly self-conscious, wondering what he saw when he looked at me.
Stalking toward where I stood, he reached for my white-gloved hand, bringing it to his lips before placing a kiss across my knuckles. Meeting my eyes, he quirked a small smile. “You look stunning, Lucy.”
My chest tightened, and I blushed, unable to hold his gaze. “Thank you.”
Releasing my hand, he tipped my chin up like he had that night in my workspace, and I felt my body reacting similarly. “I mean it. You’re a vision in that dress. A goddess.”
How had I never noticed his way with words? Granted, usually, his words were aimed at riling me up to the point of blinding rage, but I was quickly learning that there was more to Preston than my skewed perception allowed me to see.
