Luca winced. “I…gathered. But listen, I’m sorry—Gavin’s been through a lot in the past year or so, but that was uncalled for. You didn’t deserve that.”
“No, I didn’t,” I agreed, deflating the tiniest bit. Luca continued to prove himself as a sweetheart, and maybe it was perfect that he was the one to meet me now.
“You don’t have to talk to him,” he went on, “but you shouldn’t drive home when you’re upset. Will you take a walk with me instead? We can go down by the water. It’s nice out.”
Logic told me not to go off with this guy I barely knew, reminding me of the true crime documentaries Kara and Brandon loved. But my gut said that Luca was safe, the safest of the three guys who had reappeared in my life so suddenly, and he was probably right that I shouldn’t drive right away. I’d had a couple of drinks too, and though I felt almost entirely sober, the longer I could let my body process the liquor, the whole night with Gavin, the clearer my head would be.
“Alright,” I agreed. “Lead the way.”
Luca gave me a second to swap out my heels with the more sensible flip-flops I kept in my car. Then the two of us walked down the little gravel path beside the house, following it until it turned to sand beneath our feet. The moon was shining against the gentle ocean waves, the dark of the night illuminated only with that silvery glow and the light pollution of Southern California.
“So what’s your daughter’s name?” Luca asked me quietly, almost drowned out by the roar of the water.
“Daphne,” I answered. It was almost nice to finally be able to talk about her. After a long pause, I filled the space between us with an explanation he didn’t ask for. I felt he deserved it anyway. “I…I didn’t want to share her with anyone. I still don’t. And I know it sucks that I didn’t tell any of you about her, butI hope you can understand why. It wasn’t…like, malicious. I’m just protective.”
“A mama bear,” Luca nodded, understanding.
“Yeah. Plus, it was embarrassing, not knowing who…” I trailed off, my face turning red, though he thankfully couldn’t see in the cool dark of the night.
“Who her dad is, I guess you mean,” Luca finished for me. I let out a breath I was holding from the tension.
“Right. And anyway, it’s not like I know any of you well enough to know what kind of father you’d be. It’s good for me to be cautious, at least in this. I haven’t always been so careful in the past, but Daphne changed all of that.”
“Well, you can at least count me out of the paternity question,” Luca commented blithely. I blinked, stopping our slow trek through the sand in my surprise. Luca took a second to realize I’d stopped, so he turned back toward me from a step or so ahead. His eyes were too dark in the moonlight to see their hazel-green color, but they sparkled anyway, only amplifying how truly pretty he was. “What?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you and I didn’t…have sex.” He shrugged, and I practically sensed the blush that graced his cheeks, though I couldn’t quite see it. I gaped at him.
“We … what do you mean?”
“I mean, we had sex,” he backtracked. “In the sense that we, uh—we did things for each other. But you and I didn’t do anything that could have…gotten you pregnant.”
I was stunned into silence, my fuzzy memories of that night flashing through my head in a sexy montage. Luca’s head between my legs. Luca’s erection springing free from his pants. Me taking the hard length of it into my mouth. Warmth flooded through me, combatting the ocean chill as my body longed torelive the night. Had I really just…assumed Luca had been inside me? Wishing for something that hadn’t happened yet?
13
LUCA
Iwasn’t sure which was worse—admitting that I never got to bury myself inside Allie that night in Vegas or reliving the things wediddo that had fueled years of sexual frustration—all while Allie herself was staring at me, dumbfounded. I could still feel the heaven of her mouth around me, still hear the sounds she made when I put my mouth on her. Hell, I could taste her warmth on my tongue, and my scalp tingled at the memory of her fingers tugging at my hair.
It was good that we were in the dark. I couldn’t be held responsible for whatever my face was doing as I willed my dick not to respond to the erotic flashbacks playing through my head.
It didn’t help that Allie was gorgeous tonight, the moonlight giving her an ethereal glow, the dress she’d worn for her night out with Gavin doing nothing to conceal the curves underneath. I wanted, foolishly, to reacquaint myself with those curves. With the body I’d explored once, given pleasure to, but that had now become even more enticingly soft. Her words echoed in my head, years away but still vivid—please, Luca. Don’t stop.
“I, uh. I guess I was even less sober than I thought,” Allie finally said, shattering the silence. Somehow, my need for her,my embarrassment at the conversation we’d been having, had all but drowned out the gentle sound of the waves. Now, they came crashing back in my ears. Like the ocean had been waiting for her to speak. “I could have sworn we…”
“There was a lot happening,” I said hurriedly. “And it’s been a long time. Some stuff is fuzzy for me too,” I lied, the flashes of her naked body, her slick wetness on my fingers, turning me ravenous. I swallowed hard. “But I would have remembered being inside you.”
“Then why didn’t we do it?” she shot back, quiet but challenging. The implication that she’d wanted it then, that she’d have loved having all three of our cocks inside her that night, had my blood heating again. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, the front of my pants straining as I grew harder. She watched me with an intensity in her gaze that made me wonder if she wanted to remedy the situation now—clearly, she’d wanted me inside her just as badly as I did, but I couldn’t dwell on that possibility and stay coherent.
“I…had sort of a line for myself, back then,” I surprised myself by admitting. I explained when Allie’s eyebrow rose in curiosity. “No penetrative sex outside of a committed relationship. It felt like a bigger commitment to me.” And since Allie had gotten pregnant by one of my friends that night, it really would have been a lifelong promise I wasn’t prepared to make.
“That’s sweet,” Allie said softly. “I bet the girls you’ve dated felt really…I don’t know. Cherished, knowing how important that was to you.”
I didn’t mean to say it, but the truth fell out of my mouth again. “Maybe they would. I wouldn’t know.”
Allie’s lips parted in surprise. It would have been distracting to look at even if I wasn’t also anxiously anticipating what she’d say next. There was a confusing mix of arousal andembarrassment flooding through me—the result of her lips reminding me of how eagerly she’d sucked my cock, how soft and wet and hot her mouth had been, all while she guessed my secret. “You…you were a virgin in Vegas?”
