He nods his head. I lay my hand on the top of the table, next to my plate. I trace a mark in the wood with my finger. He leans forward and covers my hand with his.
The warmth of his hold has me holding steady waiting to see what he’s going to do next. “Emily, you don’t know how much I wish things could be different. I wish I was different. But I’m not the man that you need.”
I turn my hand over and grip on to him because I can feel him withdrawing. “You don’t know what I need, Jack.”
He pulls his hand from mine. “Felon. People call me Felon.”
I lean back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not going to call you that, Jack.”
He shrugs. “It’s what I am.”
I shrug as if it means nothing. “It’s not who you are, though. It doesn’t define you.”
He doesn’t believe me, and I know I’m about to lose him when he stands up and grabs our empty dishes. I try to stop him. “I can get those.”
He ignores me and carries the dishes to the sink. I finish clearing the table and come to help him as he loads the dishwasher. He seems deep in thought, so I continue wiping off the counter, letting him work out whatever it is he needs to work out.
I am not ready for him to leave, but it’s not like I can beg him to stay.
He is drying his hands off, still avoiding me, and I lean my back against the counter beside him. He tenses, and it gives me a little boost of confidence that I can affect him like that. He grips theedge of the counter until his knuckles turn white. He’s going to run. I know him well enough to know that.
But I can’t let him do that yet. I put my hand on his forearm. “Jack, what’s your plan here? You say we can’t be together but what? You’re going to keep watching me and protecting me? How long do you plan on doing that?”
He blinks as if there’s no question. “Forever.”
I blurt out a gasp. “Forever? That’s crazy talk, Jack. You’re not going to watch me forever.”
He just stares at me, and I shake my head. “Okay, why? Why are you doing this?”
His voice is husky and filled with emotion. “Just because I can’t have you doesn’t mean I won’t protect you.”
I slide over toward him until I can feel his warmth at my side. “But you can have me.”
His eyes darken, his nose flares, and he sucks in a harsh breath. “Emily…”
He says my name like a prayer, and there’s a brief flare of hope in his eyes, and then it’s gone. “I can’t have you. No matter how much I want you.”
He’s sincere as he says it. He really truly believes that there can’t be anything between us, but I refuse to just give up. “Okay, so here’s a question. You and your club are just going to watch me?”
He nods.
I cross my arms over my chest. “And what’s going to happen when I bring a man home? Are you?—”
He growls, interrupting me, and I can’t stop the smile from forming on my lips. “Yeah, you’re just going to stand outside my window to protect me? Are you going to be okay with what happens inside? What about when I get pregnant and have kids?”
“Stop.” He grunts. “Stop talking.”
He’s on the verge of losing it, and I move so I’m standing in front of him. I put my hands at his waist and lean into him. This is not me. It’s not who I am, but the thought of just letting him walk out of here is making me do things I’d never do. “Kiss me.”
His hands go to each side of my face, and I think he’s going to do it, but he just stares at me, devouring me with his eyes.
I bring my own hands up and cover his. “Jack, if you’re not going to let us be together, then give me this. One night, that’s all I’m asking for.”
He croaks, “One night.”
I can’t tell if it’s a question or what it is, so I nod my head. “Yes, give me this. Please, Jack.”
I can see the instant that he lets himself give in. The pained look on his face transforms into a look of possession, and he lifts me up into his arms. My legs circle his waist as his lips crash onto mine. This kiss is nothing like the last one.
