Thankfully, Javi solves that for me.
“Maddy, do you know him?” I watch Javi tilt his head back as he calls up to me.
“Yeah, I do. He’s the DEA agent who tried to get me to come out earlier.”
“So, he’s the Fed?”
I know that question isn’t really meant for me now that Javi’s looking at Jacob. The guy’s sitting on the ground with blood still gushing from his right leg. I can only imagine the agony he must be in. But it certainly doesn’t match what I see in the two men kneeling beside one of Javi’s guys. I hear one repeating “mi hermano,” over and over. My brother.
The other one could just be the dead guy’s close friend, but I sense there’s far more to it than that. There’s something in the way the second guy is staring at the body. His entire bearing vibrates with devastated loss that’s almost palpable all the way up here. They must have been partners or even husbands.
What a needless loss that’s entirely my fault. The only reason any of Drew’s men are here—the only reason why Javi and his brothers and their men were exposed—was to protect me. The crushing guilt envelops me and tightens its hold to the point where my chest burns, and I rub a fist over my heart because it’s hard to breathe.
This wasn’t the first time I’ve killed. I’ve admitted I’ve done it before. I’ve seen some of Drew’s men die, but it never affected me the way seeing Javi’s men does right now. My hatred toward Drew blinded me from any regret or remorse when his men died. But human decency makes me regret Javi’s losses today. My connection to him makes it even deeper.
That’s part of what spurred me to action. A deep sense of obligation to help protect the men who protect Javi and his family.
I lean forward a little farther, but I can’t hear what’s happening any better than I could a moment ago.
“Javi.”
I risk calling down to him. He looks up at me and raises his eyebrows.
“I know things about him you should ask. I’d call you, but my phone isn’t in here with me.”
“Hang on. I’ll come up and get you.”
It feels like an eternity before I hear the door unlock. I don’t raise the gun since you don’t point a weapon anywhere you don’t intend to shoot. But if it’s not Javi, I’m prepared, and I’ll shoot to kill, then ask questions later. The relief that washes over me makes my hand tremble. I click the safety back on and walk toward him, leaving the gun on the billiard table as I pass it. I don’t breathe easy until I’m in his arms.
“We’re both safe,chiquita. It’s okay now.”
“This is entirely my fault, Javi.”
“No, it’s not. Don’t think that. If you’ve been part of this life now for years, you know these things happen far too frequently. They’re usually not one single person’s fault. It’s the price we pay.”
“Javi—”
“I brought you here. I didn’t know anyone would betray us, but you were in danger because one of my men betrayed my family. You were supposed to be safe here. This was the one place in the world I was supposed to have faith that no one could touch us.”
“Do you think this estate’s completely compromised? Will they have told any of the O’Sheehans where they are and what they found?”
“Probably, but that’s a problem for a different day. Right now, I’m just glad you’re all right.”
The kiss he gives me makes my toes curl, and I grip his shirt as though I might wither away if I don’t hold on for dear life. I don’t want it to end. I don’t want to face the reality that I caused this. That I brought this to his family and have now endangered them and ruined something special. He may tell me it’s not my fault, but no one will convince me otherwise.
“Chiquita, tell me what you know now before we go out there. I can’t afford any surprises.”
Like my sniper level accuracy.
“Jacob’s father paid a fortune to get his son’s background check forged. He passed the academy legitimately, but he’s dirty as a hog in slop. He feeds Drew internal information that’s kept them from getting busted for years. What Drew suspects but hasn’t proven is that Jacob also sells information to other families. So far, it hasn’t compromised the O’Sheehans, but I believe Jacob’s just biding his time. I think he’ll fuck Drew over when the right deal comes along.”
“But for now he’s helping Drew by trying to kidnap you.”
“That’s my guess. That or he wants to ransom me to Drew. It wouldn’t surprise me if Drew didn’t order my execution today to get revenge for you helping me.”
“You believe Drew would do that, knowing you came to my family for help?”
I glance at the floor as shame floods me. Not for what I did, but for what I didn’t do.
