“Nothing changes between us, Maddy. Not unless you want it to.”
“Are you going to punish me for keeping all those secrets?”
“I hadn’t planned to. All of that happened before we reconnected.”
She chokes a laugh at that last word. It’s the mildest way to describe how I burst into her life and haven’t left her alone since.
“I wish you’d been forthcoming, but your secrets aren’t that different from some of mine. Ones I can never tell you. I know I’m a hypocrite for expecting you to confide in me. To make me your confessor when I won’t do the same. But I think your heart will be lighter if you keep telling me, and I can better protect you. I’ve always had my family as my shield. You’ve been on your own and done an admirable job, but you aren’t alone anymore.”
“I know. It’s like I can breathe again for the first time in years. It’s been like breathing through a wet washcloth. I could do it, but it was hard. There was never enough air.”
“Do you want to talk to Maks? He’ll eventually tell Laura what he can, but I’m certain he’d keep this secret from her and your parents for as long as he can.”
“No. I don’t want to put him in that position. They’d understand, but I don’t want to be the reason he keeps even more secrets from my sister. Laura would forgive him, but it would put a strain on them. It’s better he doesn’t know yet.”
“Whenever you’re ready. But, Maddy, we have to tell my uncle. We can stay here indefinitely like I’ve already said. He’ll want us to. This just isn’t something I can keep from him because Drew will strike. They need to be ready.”
I’m unprepared for her to burst into tears. She’s been dry-eyed this entire time, though I think tears have threatened a couple times. Now she’s sobbing.
“Maddy?”
“Laura told me some of the stuff that’s been going on recently, and I know Margherita’s still recovering from the last round of treatment. The last thing I want is to draw attention toyour family, put any of you at risk when things have already been tough lately.”
“Shh, little one. Things are always tough.” I joke, but unsurprisingly, it falls flat.
Instead of giving her false platitudes, I simply hold her. I keep kissing her head and stroking her hair. I think the tears are cathartic, so I don’t stop her. It’s not long before the tears are a steady stream, but there are no more heaving sobs. She sniffles and swipes at them half-heartedly. It’s ten minutes before she heaves a sigh and goes still. Her breathing evens, and I wonder if she’s asleep.
“Javi, I’m still awake. You can move me if you want. Your arms must be tired, and you must be bored.”
“I will never be bored holding you. I’ll relish any opportunity I get. Let me do it for as long as I can.”
“You said you hadn’tplannedto punish me. Past tense. Have you changed your mind?”
“You sound like you almost hope I will. Would it make you feel better if I did? Ease your conscience?”
She hesitates before she answers, and I barely hear her when she does.
“Yes. It’s what we agreed to.”
“I don’t think that it is. We?—”
“You made me promise to tell you anything that puts me in jeopardy. I did everything but that. You warned me, and I knew what I risked by not telling you. I risked a shit ton.”
I consider what she’s saying, and she’s right. But I don’t know that her nerves—or mine—can handle that right now. She’s so tense, she feels brittle enough to snap.
Then again, maybe a spanking is what she needs to ease her anxiety.
“Maddy, if I spank you, then you need to know I’m doing it because it’s what you need not what I think you deserve.”
“You don’t want to do it? I don’t want to force you to do something you’ll resent. I don’t want to diminish?—”
“Maddy, I’ll always do anything you need. If this is it, then strip, little girl. I believe I told you that earlier.”
She climbs off the bed, and I follow her. She watches me as she peels off her t-shirt. Next go her jeans. She pauses when she’s standing in her bra and panties. I twirl my finger, silently telling her to turn around. My eyes gorge themselves on her. Her body’s even better than I imagined. She needs to regain some weight, so her ribs don’t show so much. She’s still the most alluring woman I’ve ever seen. Her body does things to mine.
When she finishes her slow spin, she reaches back to unfasten her bra. She lets it fall to the floor, and I’m practically salivating. When she hooks her fingers into her thong, I’m ready to shred it. She isn’t teasing me by lingering. She’s nervous. I think it’s a combination of trepidation about how I’ll punish her and self-consciousness at showing her body to someone new.
“Take your time, little girl. It’s the last time you’re wearing panties.”
